He thinks mechanically,
Acts robotic.
He does what his brain read from thes books
I thought it was all his instincts and ideas
God..... Why?
I cried
Cried till my eyes give up to produce anymore tears
I searched in the drawer again and found some other booklets regarding relationships and sex
He highlighted in them too
How many did he read?
Try to call your partner with different Endearments
I vividly remember the day he first called me 'babe'
He didn't mean that
He just blindly followed these fucking books
I was over the moon when he called me babe but it's just another of his struggles to follow the fucking booklet saying "how to be a perfect husband"
He struggled a lot to make me feel loved, just to make me feel, he never loved me huh?
Now I understood why only my body reacted when ever I am close to him and he didn't budge, he used to sleep like log hugging me.
It's all artificial!
He didn't even felt jealous when he saw me and abdhul
in our house in his absence
Why would he? Cause He didn't care.
A dry chuckle escaped my mouth
I laugh at my own pitiful state
I should have given a thought about it then itself
Never deny if your partner ask about having kids
Of course he wanted many kids, he lied
He fucking lied to me
He thought making this all will make me happy? No. Cause It's a fucking lie
I lived a lie
He made me live a fucking lie
The dreams I had about us,about our future is going to evaporate just like that?
There is no us?
He has been like that from the beginning but now I knew
Is that why he left me after we had our first kiss?
Make her first time a special one
Special my foot, fucking me hard in roja mahal is special?
Having sex in rich places means special for him?
Oh god kill me
I want to laugh at his dumbness
'Let's make it a memory ' his reply when I asked him for those three fucking magical words is making me to throw up
What an idiot I am
I didn't even think why out of blue he asked me on a date and then kissed.
He had done exactly what he had prepare, a blue print for our relationship, a big fat fake relationship
What can be more painful than knowing your partner just pretended all these days?
What should I do now?
I kept all of em as it was back in the drawer
I closed my eyes when I felt pain in my chest
Tears started pouring out endless
I dropped my body completely on floor
Pulled my legs forward to lay in foetal position
I cried in agony
YOU ARE READING
THE HEART KNOWS IT'S WAY
RandomA heart surgeon but knows nothing about heart. A civil engineer who keeps on trying to build a bridge between two hearts. One is calm and aloof Other is bold and cordial Wanna dig more into the roles Then what are you waiting for?
40. Green Diary
Start from the beginning
