Not Giving Into Fate

18- The Morning After

"Why are you reading that?" I ask in a low, controlled voice. "You do not have access to what is inside of these pages."

"You told me I can read any book." Sir Pine argues, almost knowing what he did is incredibly wrong. I can get in trouble with the Tower for having a civilian know these contents.

I grab the book and look at what he was writing. I just see a list of names and addresses. I grab the sheet he writes on and inspect it, none of the names stand out. The only thing is that they're from the North. I walk away from him.

"I allow you to read any book containing curses and cures for your current curse. Anything else, such as classified information of the Academy and Tower is off limits. I thought you would have common sense to understand that."

"What did you think I was trying to do with that?" He asks, standing up and following me to my desk where I put the stuff there.

I furiously turn and glare at him. "I can lose my license- my job. This is classified information!"

"I was only trying to help you find a teacher. You're teaching four Ancient Magic classes. On top of solving my curse, being a Master at the Academy, and being the Lady of this house. You say you have insomnia, that's because you're doing too much. I'm trying to help you lighten your load."

I glare at him. I know I do too much, but I can't sit still. I have to be doing many things so I don't sit to exist. I need to fill my time. I don't want to be lectured on what I can or cannot do.

"This isn't your concern." I say. "I know what I can do, and I have people who help me accomplish everything."

"It's okay to need help." Sir Pine calls out as I have my back to him. "Look... I know some magicians in the North. I was hoping I can see if they could fill up a teaching position. I looked at that record to help you."

"Do you accept help?" I ask, knowing my pride prevents me from asking for too much help. I look at the man and have a feeling he's like me.

Pine freezes and looks at me. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"No, do you accept help regularly. When you're not facing death?" I ask, already guessing the type of man he is.

His face hardens and he clenches his jaw. "We aren't talking about me."

"I-"

"Lady Giselle," he cuts me off, getting into my personal space. "What are the qualifications to teach your classes?"

I bite the inside of my cheek and decide to humor him. "The professor must have taken all of the Ancient Magic classes, but as you see my options are limited."

I walk to my desk and motion for him to follow me. "There aren't that many names," Pine acknowledges.

"Yes... our department is the smallest and there aren't that many graduates who stay. Some are employed here, in other countries and in magical lands such as Elferia or past the North." I sit on my chair and lean down to open a cabinet. I rummage through my detailed notes and show him a journal.

"What's this?"

"What you were looking at are people who have taken a single Ancient Magic class," I flip the page so he can read. "These are all the names of those who can teach."

He looks through the pages, quickly glancing over to the next. Under each name is the year of graduation, current employment and where they live at the appointed date.

"Most of these updates are from... five years ago." He scowls.

"Many people didn't reply back."

"Reply?"

"When I became Master, I sent a letter to all of the graduates. Many didn't reply." I say and look through my vials and settle on a potion for the fire. I throw it to my fireplace and watch it, the man is still in my periphery.

"Don't they have to reply?"

"Yes. As Master, I ordered them to tell me what they're currently doing, what research they're conducting for job they do. I asked for their employer, family and place of losing." I say and stare at the flames.

"Why can't you force-"

"Many weren't happy I was the next Master." I cut him off, still avoiding eye contact. "I'm the first ever female Master. Before me, this spot was empty for many years. People don't like to suddenly take orders, especially from a woman. Many are waiting for me to leave."

"This is outrageous." He says in a voice that makes it sound like he's angry for me. I look at him, face neutral as I judge his features.

"What can I do except do the best I can?" I shrug. "I'm not a tyrant. I want to create a stable environment."

"Why do you have to leave?" Pine asks me.

I bite my lip and decide to say the truth. "I may be a Master, but I'm still a woman. I am my father's. I will be my husband's. Later in life I will belong to my son. My life is not my own, but I was selfish. I chose to be Master which costed me a marriage to a man I hate."

There's silence as he looks at me, but I turn my gaze away and stare at the fire that brings no heat to the summer day. I can feel his eyes on me. I do not care, I am tired.

"So that's why you stay with him." He says in a statement, not a question.

"Unfortunately." I sigh and look at the floor. "I've accepted it to an extent." I look at him and smile. "I hope to break this marriage."

"Won't you still be forced to wed?" Pine asks.

I shake my head. "I promised to be engaged to a man for my father. My brother shall soon take the dukedom and I will be free. I can break the engagement and live as the Master."

"Will you ever marry?" Pine asks after a moment of silence.

I look to him. "I do not wish to marry. I can't stand the thought of being with a man who wants me in one place, forever with him. I wish to live in the Tower and the Academy."

"What if you meet a man who can grant this wish?"

I can't help but laugh. "Surely you jest. A man who supports his woman is away from his grasp, by men everyday, away from the home and her womanly duties? There is no such man, but I will be happy one day."

"I'm sure one day you will. I know there are many who also don't care for your fiancé." He smirks and looks at me. "Present company included."

I chuckle and grab the journal. I flip to the layer pages where the graduates are recent. "These pages and on are those who graduated within the last twenty years."

"Why the sudden change?" He asks as he accepts the journal I hand to him once more.

"You're a knight, a wanderer from the way you act. You must meet a lot of people, lots of mages. If you recognize a name, send them to me." I plead and hand him a paper and pen to write down their names.

He looks at me, face stern and nods before scribbling away. I stand up, walking to the circular desk and tidy up so that I can conduct more research on his curse.