HAPPIER; jra ✓

004 | still get an urge

"So he sacrificed being at his friend twenty-first to be with you and help you through sobriety?"

"mhm. I love him a lot.. he's like very caring."

"Have you drunk since then?"

"No," she shook her head, a small smile on her face as she was kinda proud of herself. "There was a time.. a couple weeks ago where.. my boyfriend asked for us to go on a break, and I.. I um thought about drinking the last of the alcohol I had at home and before I do-"

"I- at the end of last year," Adalyn interrupted herself to explain the back story. "I didn't know I was pregnant and I drunk a lot of alcohol and caused myself to miscarry the baby.. and I don't want to go through that again so whenever I go to drink I'll take a test cause him and I have unprotected sex all the time.."

"So I took a test, and I was just so emotional that day cause I fucked things up with him again, and before I even saw the negative result, I just cried on my bathroom floor and then I just went back to bed instead of drinking," she concluded. "And so I haven't drunk since the night in Vegas.."

"I'm proud of you, it takes a lot self control to stop yourself from your urges," Dakota sent her a smile as the younger let out a small hum. "um you mentioned before about not like being alone anymore, do you think there is something that's got you to this point?"

"My boyfriend going on tour.." she quickly nodded. "I was so paranoid that if I went to a party or a club or where ever really, and got drunk I would do something to hurt him and ruin our relationship.. and spoiler.. I did.."

"Is that why you and him went on a break?"

"mhm," she nodded. "I was already mad at my boyfriend because of something else and I got really drunk at a party and this guy like sorta pressured me into kissing him... and like a month afterwards I was honest and told my boyfriend but that just made him want some time apart to think about things.. We've been back together for a couple days now though."

"Have you spoken with him at all about your urges to drink?"

"I sorta mentioned it.. but he doesn't pressure me into saying things- and it's also so fucking embarrassing to admit that being away from him makes me sad. Like I use to be so much more independent before him.."

"What did you get up to before him?"

"I slept with a lot of guys.. but that's not the point, I use to be social and spend time with my friends and do things that I enjoy cause I had nothing to worry about," she replied. "But then if I do now I'll probably drink and I don't want to make the same mistake, I've already hurt him enough and I don't even want to leave him, I like him too much to do that."

"You can have fun and be social while still staying sober," Dakota reminded her. "You could maybe ask your friends to.. I don't know, go out shopping, or the weather's warm again you could go to the beach, or go out for dinner with them, go to a show, an amusement park, have a  pamper day, whatever you enjoy. There's plenty of things to do that doesn't involve alcohol."

"I'm going to Hawaii on Friday."

"Yeah, you are? Is there a reason you're going?"

"I'm going with my boyfriend to see his daughter," Adalyn lit up as she spoke. "He told me that he wanted to see if I wanted to go before he went because she would beg to know where I was."

"You like his daughter?"

"mhm, a lot, I love kids, I love when I get to look after her and my niece.." her gaze fell down to her hands. "... if I'm being honest though, sometimes it does hurt being around those girls cause I feel like I'm never going to get that for myself.."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't want to talk about it.."

"That's okay, we don't have to if you don't want to," she replied. ".. Now our session for today is coming to an end.. but if you choose to come back for another session, we can go more into the topics we've discussed today or even any other ones if you're comfortable to do so."

"okay.. I think I might come back.. but it'd have to be in like two weeks cause I'll be in Hawaii next week.."

"That's okay," she nodded, typing at her computer for a second before turning her attention back to the younger girl. "How does Thursday the thirtieth at one-pm sound?"

"I can make that work," Adalyn agreed.

"Alright I'll book you in," she said as she done so, before getting up as Adalyn done the same. "I'm going to set you a small task for you to do before our next session.. is that something you're open to?"

"yeah.. I guess.."

"Try to find some more things that you like doing- there's nothing wrong with self pleasure, don't get me wrong, but having multiple hobbies can be helpful to pass time," Dakota suggested. "It doesn't have to be today, you have two weeks to try out just one thing that you think you might enjoy."

"Okay, I'll try.." she nodded.

"Have a good afternoon, Adalyn," she sent her a smile.

"You too," Adalyn returned the smile, as she soon walking down the short hallway towards the exit of the building.

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A/N

told you in the last book's ty note that
she'll keep trying to improve herself :))