𝑯𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒌𝒂,𝑰𝒍𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐 𝑿 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑶𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔

☠︎︎Sacrifices☠︎︎Illumi

1485 words ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only when you finally ran out of adrenaline did you notice the soothing cold of the night against your skin. For the longest time, you hadn't felt even a breeze ruffling through your now scruffy hair. But now, paired with the sound of leaves rustling in the midnight wind, you were engulfed by all these normal-strange sensations you had missed out on for so long.

Even though your feet hurt from running, and your lungs couldn't get enough of the air all around you, you felt so alive and happy, you were barely able to contain yourself from screaming in joy. Leaning against the wall, you decided to take a small rest in the alleyway, having come far already. How long have you been running for? Probably a bit more than twenty minutes, left and right and uphill and behind houses. You'd have put rabbits to shame with how you sidestepped just to escape.

So what now?

Many would call you crazy. That you'd run from a man that loved you so much wouldn't be taken positively by the people around you. You couldn't go home, or to your parents, after all, if you were him, that's where you'd look first. Police? But what would you tell them? That you were kidnapped locked away for months by some psychopathic assassin? Illumi had told you more than once that it was useless to go anywhere - especially without him - after all, he made sure that no one would believe the terrible things you wanted to tell them. Everyone was under the assumption you were doing splendidly with your new boyfriend - a boyfriend you didn't even know existed.

You had been seen with him so many times around the Hunter Exam that people liked to assume that what you had was a normal relationship. They didn't know that he kept forcing himself into your personal space, that you didn't want to go anywhere with him anymore after he monopolized and clung to you for the better part of weeks. Everyone knew that he was a Zoldyck and most definitely lived up to his name, but they didn't think he was mad enough to do something like kidnap...actually, he'd definitely do that. One could assume that after all he's done in the past and went through, his brain took a big hit, his arrogance and confidence only feeding into his egotistical views. But that he'd kidnap the person he claimed to love, kept them holed up, and did things you didn't want to think about anymore that's not something anyone would accept easily.

In fact, if you two were ever again confronted with each other, he might blame you for doing these things to yourself and harassing him! No... You decided then and there that you didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. You just wanted to go somewhere he couldn't find you. Somewhere you'd be safe and could start over without drawing any attention. Calm and peaceful, but most importantly, alone and safe.

At least, that was the plan, but biting the tip of your thumb, you realized you were still stuck in the middle of the city, with no money, no phone, and nowhere to go for help or safety. Perhaps if you visited the bank and asked for money from your account personally, they'd be able to provide you with some, but it was already late, and you doubted there was any bank near you that had a late-night clerk waiting for customers. You didn't like to settle somewhere outside for the night. You wanted to be gone as fast as possible, but what were you supposed to do? Clothed in just an oversized shirt and short shorts, you sunk to your bottom, pulling in your legs. At least, hidden behind dumpsters and between the buildings, no one would find you or, if, simply assume you were a beggar asleep.

This was still nicer than being with him.

Nicer than sleeping in his possessive hold while he whispered his seemingly endless confession in your ear, your body bruised and fragile from his touches.

Sleeping in some dirty alleyway was heaven compared to it.

»»————————

"Ah, look at you," Illumi hummed as he stepped into the alleyway. Even though you had been dozing, immediately, your eyes snapped wide open, and you took on the stance of someone about to jump up and run again. However, your eyes could only fixate on his legs, standing right in front of you and blocking your way out. Even if you thought it was safest to hide, you didn't calculate the risk of getting found. "You must be freezing dear."

There was mockery in his kind words, but Illumi was quick to strip off his corset and squat down, laying the fabric around your shoulder. Everything about him - the black pupil-less eyes, the smell of his aftershave, the rough tug he made as she adjusted the green corset over your shoulders - made you want to vomit. Pictures of things he had done and things he was able to do to you popped into your mind while you sat there like a frozen, trying desperately to come up with an escape plan.

"H-how did you...?" you mumbled, questioning yourself more than him. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I could even find you? I missed you! Were you scared I wouldn't come?"

No, you were scared all along that he'd find you.

"B-but why?" you whispered, shoulders slumping. Illumi's lips curled into a pitying smile, one he probably imagined signaled empathy the best, and the only time you've ever actually seen him show expression. But really, was there even a spark of humanity in this man that would let him feel these kinds of emotions? You doubted it more than anyone in the world. Hands falling from your shoulders to your hips and dragging forward over your thighs to your knees, Illumi took a deep breath, taking in every inch of you appreciatively. Like fine art, a rare sight to see, that's how you must have looked in his eyes.

"I told you I missed you, so I came–"

"No, why are you doing this. Why me? What do you want from me?"

Your voice sounded exhausted more than anything now. Now that you realized Illumi had won, you were tired. There was something animalistic in the way he touched you. Possessive, victorious. He was the white lion prowling in a habitat that didn't fit him, and yet, he benefitted from it. However he did it, you knew he wasn't just passing by and found you. If you didn't know it better, you'd say he always knew where you went all along, every second of your escape. But it was inexplicable how, when, and why he knew, and it frightened you even more that he was so much more aware of everything going on around you than you were.

Illumi smiled, hesitating to answer while he thought hard about what to say. "You. I always wanted you. I want you to love me and cherish me. Make the whole world stop for a while without me having to worry that you will disappear from it. I am doing this for you as much as I am doing it for me, don't you understand? Won't you rely on me to do what is best for us?"

"I don't want that," you replied firmly, not even a moment of hesitation on your side. No matter what he said, you couldn't decide if Illumi was telling the truth or if he lied. You were sure he was manipulating you, but at the same time, he did it with the face of an angel, hiding much, much more than you'd ever know even if you expected there to be hidden meaning behind it all.

"Oh dear...I see," he sighed, the fake smile never leaving his glazed lips no matter how he was feeling at the moment. Was he angry? Disappointed? Sad? You weren't sure if even Illumi himself knew. But you did notice his grip on your legs growing harder as he kept squeezing down on them. "Then I guess I will make you rely on me."

Surely enough, you couldn't keep up your scared-up-stance for much longer as he seemed to force you to the ground. You could feel your expression harden in pain as you gasped, pushing at his shoulders desperately. However, Illumi used the moment of your focus shifting to move forward to your face, kissing you in a moment you were stunned by his unexpected actions. "Please my dear, don't hate me too much," he mumbled, almost sounding... remorseful.

"I just think those legs don't do us any good as long as they are attached to you. After all, we both need to make sacrifices, you know?"