and i cannot control it (the way you're making me feel) | patpran oneshot

and i cannot control it (the way you're making me feel)

"I don't know if I can kiss you when I know it means everything," Pran replies.

The world around him clicks into place.

Pat gasps, sitting up. "I thought—"

"I don't hate you." Pran sniffles, wiping his nose. "I've never hated you."

"Then why—"

"You know our families, our faculties, our lives. How could this ever work?" Pran asks like he's not only asking Pat but whatever writer of fate led them here, his voice big and broad and meant to be heard.

Pat stands up, the goose momentarily lifting its head before going back to its rest. He steps toward Pran and takes both of his hands in his.

Pran intertwines their fingers, the melancholic look not leaving his face. A tear runs down his face.

Pat wants to kiss it away.

Instead, he says, "You're the smartest person I know, and I'm the smartest person you know. We've spent our whole lives proving to each other that we're the best. Now let's be the best together. You and me. We can make this work." He squeezes their hands. "And I really, really want to make this work." Pat swallows. "Don't you?"

Pran lets out a breath. "Of course I do. But life—"

"Life makes love look hard," Pat interrupts. "That doesn't mean we should give up. If we both want this, which I'm pretty sure we do, then isn't it worth fighting for?"

Pran's almost there, Pat can feel it, but there's still something holding him back.

"You can talk to me," Pat whispers, the phrase having been true their entire lives, but only now needing to be said.

Pran squeezes Pat's hands a little too tight. "How are you so sure? It seemed like yesterday you were flirting with Ink in the bar and now you're telling me that we're meant to be." He takes a breath. "Is this just because of the goose?"

They lock eyes and the two of them can't hold back their laughs. Sure, they're both sniffling and Pran's still letting out silent tears, but this is an unusually funny situation.

They calm down and Pat clears his throat. "I liked Ink in high school. When I saw her again I thought all of those old feelings were coming back... But now that I'm thinking about it, they weren't. She's a great friend, but I don't like her like that anymore."

Pat smiles foolishly, thinking back in time. "I always knew there was something between us. I just didn't know what to call it. When we realized the goose led me to you I— I don't know, everything just sorta righted itself. Like I was looking at the world from one angle, the wrong one, and now I can see everything the way it's supposed to be."

"And what's that?" Pran asks, his voice daring.

"Me and you. Together. Like this." Pat sways their still-held hands.

Pran smiles despite himself and his dimples appear, two stars Pat always watches out for.

"Cute." Pat releases their hands to wipe the wetness of Pran's face. His fingers make their way to Pran's dimples and he pokes them both. He pauses. Then gasps, his eyes widening. "I've always been obsessed with your dimples and now I know why!"

"Really?" Pran chuckles, taking Pat's hands away, but keeping this in his grasp, lightly this time. "Just the other day you were calling them cute too and now you have this revelation?"

"Pran," Pat whines, surging forward to lean his head on Pran's shoulder—

But instead he lands along his neck, their cheeks touching.

They both suck in a breath.

Steadily and surely, Pat moves back just enough for them to be locking eyes once more, their faces only a few inches apart.

"Are you sure? About us?" Pran asks.

"Are you?" Pat replies.

Pran doesn't answer with words.

He simply leans forward and connects their lips. It's hesitant and just barely there, but Pat knows his answer all the same.

Pran pulls away and they look at each other.

Then Pat lets go of one of Pran's hands, grabs him by the neck, and kisses him deeper.

If Pran's kiss was a jolt, Pat's is the storm.

Soon their other hands unwind and grab on to each other, Pat's on Pran's neck, Pran's in Pat's hair. They lose sense of their surroundings, only focusing on each other, always on each other.

Then they hear a bang and snap apart quickly, a line of spit connecting them for a brief second before it breaks. They look toward the sound and it's the goose, butting its head and body into the door.

Pat looks to Pran and they both snicker. Pat runs to open the door and the goose leaves, not once turning its back. Well, that's anticlimactic. The least the goose could do is say goodbye.

But then Pat turns back around and stills.

He sees Pran, sitting on the desk, hands fiddling in his lap, hair a little tussled, lips shiny, and the sun setting behind him.

He looks so beautiful.

"You look so beautiful," Pat says, walking back over to him.

Pran tuts. "Yeah, right. My face is probably all puffy after crying so much."

Pat walks faster to Pran and sorta crashes into the table, but it's okay because he cradles Pran's face in his hands and caresses the same spots he already wiped the tears from. "I know what can help with that," he says with a grin.

"What?"

Pat takes his hands away. "A movie date! Let's go get some food and watch a romcom," he says.

Pran rolls his eyes. "I don't think that's the best idea when we have the rugby match tomorrow."

"It won't take us the whole night to watch a movie." Pat's eyes squint and a slippery smirk takes his face. "Unless you're thinking we'd be doing something else—"

"No, no, a movie is fine," Pran says, hopping down from the table. "It is your birthday after all."

"You remembered?!" Pat says.

Pran sucks in his lips and scratches the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah, like you don't also know when my birthday is."

"May fifteenth. Exactly three weeks and a day after mine," he says, heart singing and an enormous smile gracing his face. He holds his hand out, palm up. "Let's go then."

Pran makes to hold his hand, but stops himself. "Pat, we're still on campus."

Pat realizes that Pran's right and he nods, putting his hand back to his side. He begins to leave, walking a little sulkily.

Pran catches up to him and bumps their shoulders. "It's not a no. Once we're back in the dorms we can hold hands and stuff."

Pat looks up, a glimmer in his eye. "And stuff?"

Pran pushes his face away. "Don't get ahead of yourself," he says, his dimples out in full force.

Pat only nods in return.

They stealthily begin their walk home, whispering about which movie to watch and teasing each other over who's going to win tomorrow's game.

They aren't sure how they'll make this work, but they know as long as they have each other, they can face anything.

Geese included.