5th September, 2021, Jodhpur,
Time: 2:30am
Yuvan Singh Rathod, the eldest son of the Rathod clan.... soft, gentle, emotional, unlike the other members of the family. He was a bundle of sunshine in this chaotic world-- the sunshine, which we all wish to have in our lives.
He was a kid.... a kid by heart and also by mind. More specifically what we call it as "age regression"---- a mental state in which a person reverts to a younger state of mind. His mother's loss, tortures, self doubts, traumas and fear.... all this was responsible for what he is today.
After his mother's death, music was that one thing which had kept him alive for all these 27 years.
"Duniya ki haar chiz mein music hota hai. Hum music ko chu nahi sakte. Par music humein chu sakti hai"---- This is what he used to believe. He loved music, he loved the strings of his violin more than anything in this world---
It was 3am. Not a very normal time for a person to stay awake but for Yuvan, it was. The only time of the day, when he truly enjoyed his own company, the only time of the day when he loved being away from the world, from the chaos and the only time of the day, when he used to feel his mother in the strings of the violin and in the tunes of this music. She did not exist, she was not real, but she could be felt-- just like music, isn't it?
"Soona, soona maan ka angan,
dhunde, payal ki wo chhan chhan.
Sooni, sooni maan ki sargaam,
dhunde, geet tere humdum.
Maan mein shaam ho ya savera lage tere hi yaado ka dhera. Tu ne bandhan kyu ye toda, tu ne kahe ko muh modha. Kaho na, kaho na.. kaho na...."
Tears rolled down his cheeks as Yuvan sang the last lines of the song. It really did describe his life. Those memories, that night and everything still haunts him but those memories were the only ones which reminded him of Vandhana.
"Aab kehe bhi do mumma. Aap---- apne Yuvan ko kyu chodhke chale gaye taaron mein? Wo taarein aapko zyada pyaara laga mumma aapko apne Yuvan se? Wo to kabhi kisike baatein bhi nahi sunte. Hamesha---- hamesha idhar se udhar aur udhar se idhar kahi bhi na bolke chale jaate hai. Raat ko aate hai, aur bhi subha ko aise....aise wooshhh karke chale jaate hai. Par....par mein to aapki saari baarein sunta tha na. Aap jo bolti thi mein karta tha kabhi bhi kahi bhi nahi jaata tha phir.... phir aap kyu chali gayi mujhse? Batao na aap kyu dur ho gayi mujhse"
Yuvan continued to play the tune as was getting completely lost in the moment and in this own thoughts. In these 27 years, there has not been a single night when he did not ask for the answers from his mother.
"Aap kyu chali gayi mujhe yaha chodhke, aap kyu nahi samajhti ki khush nahi hu mein yaha, nahi jee paa raha mein yaha mumma"....
this was the question which he used to ask her everyday. He had cried for nights for day and he had cried every day.... but there was no answer and there'll never be.
But still the night felt different from the others. It was beautifully calm, lonely and dark with some droplets of rain which were more beauty to it. He was really enjoying his own company untill and unless his peace was interrupted by a sudden "not so very polite gesture" by his own younger brother Viraj.
"You idiot, you rascal, how dare you do that to me? How dare you?" Viraj spoke, as he aggressively pulled Yuvan down from his bed and placed a tight slap across his face.
"Vi.. Viraj! I didn't do anything today, i really--- really did not do anything today i swear!" Yuvan replied, as he cried and sobbed for the pain which was caused to him by that aggressive behaviour of his younger brother.
"Yuvan do you think of me as a fool? Do you? Answer me. Do you?"
"No..no. i don't"
"Then? Why did you say that you didn't go anything?"
"But i really didn't!"
"Shut up! Just shut up. Didn't you tell dadu sa that i had beaten you up last night?
"Dadu..dadu viraj ne na mujhe maara tha dadu"....
Didn't you say this to him?"
"Ha bola tha..par..par sach...sa..sach hi to bola tha Viraj", Yuvan answered as he was getting afraid of the situation with every passing minute.
" Now you'll tell me that what is right and what is wrong? Now I'll have to learn the difference between right and wrong from a person who is still a child? From a person who cannot even take care of himself even after all these years? From you Yuvan? From you huh?"
"But...."
Yuvan did not even complete the sentence as Viraj hit him a large hard racket which was hanging on the walls of his room.
"Ahh..ahh Viraj it hurts. Please I'm sorry, I'm sorry please. I won't do it again Viraj I pro..prom.. promise please don't hit me anymore".
He was crying, he was sobbing, he was broken while he apologized to Viraj. Yuvan did not even recover properly from the wounds which were caused to him by the toy car with which he was beaten up by Viraj last night and now, there were new and fresh wounds again.
"You better think before saying anything to anyone.
Aapni baatein, aapne tak hi rakhe?.... Bade bhaiya?"
"Ha...ha mein yaad rakhunga, yaad rakhega Yuvan".
"Good"... Viraj walked out of the room, kicking that soft little teddy bear which was gifted to Yuvan by his mother.
Yuvan had no one in this house with whom he could share his thoughts and his feelings. All he had was that one soft toy, Bunty. He used to call that toy his best friend and he found himself similar to him too. He was also alone just like Yuvan, he was also neglected and kicked off by the members of this family and he also was gifted by Vandhana....just like Vandhana had given birth to Yuvan, in the same way, that little soft toy was also brought by the same person.
"Bunty.... Tumne..tumhe dekha na? Viraj kaise mujhe maarta hai haar roz? Haar roz maarta hai aur kehta hai, ki Yuvan tu..tu sab kuch galat karta hai tujhe kuch aata hi nahi hai. Shayad meri hi galti hai inn sab mein, mein hi bojh hu sabpe. Bawla bawla bawla hai Yuvan bawla hai. Kuch nahi aata Yuvan ko.
Mumma.... mumm ko na, mumma ko na taaron jaana hi nahi chahiye tha. Agar kisiko jaana chahiye tha , to wo sirf Yuvan ko jaana chahiye tha, sirf yuvan ko----"
Yuvan was completely broken as he spoke and cried his heart out for the damage his own brother had caused to him.
The walls of his room and his life were in complete contrast with each other.
The room was bright, beautiful and perfectly crafted and his life was dull, dark broken and lonely.
This was his life....the life of Yuvan Singh Rathod.
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غموض / الإثارةShe was his life, she was his heartbeat. His life revolved around her, his wife, Banni. He could feel her everywhere, he could hear her everywhere, her voice echoed through his room and all he cared for, was Banni. He had loved her dangerously and l...
