Love Is A Sneaky Bitch

Chapter 4

Felix nodded in thought and tightened his arms around his brother. "I think sexuality is more like a spectrum. Being anywhere on that spectrum is OK. It's about what is right for you. Don't worry so much about the labels. Are you attracted to Minho...I mean....um....that guy?" He asked.

Jisung looked over suspiciously. "I didn't say it was Minho hyung"

"Sungie, it's kind of clear, to me at least, that there is something between you. The two of you are often lost in your own little world and you stare at each other with these looks. Maybe it is less about you being straight or bi and more about him being your person."

"He is gay, and he is so confident with it but I feel so unsure. I don't know if it's just that he comforts me or what."

"Sungie, are you attracted to him?" Felix asked simply.

"I don't know." Han finally admitted. "I think so. I mean yes I am but I don't know about the boy parts."

Felix laughed. "If you guys test the waters, you will get used to it. Besides maybe for you two it isn't so much about you being gay or straight. Maybe it's about him being your person. Maybe you would have been completely straight if you never met him. Maybe he is your only exception. Does it really matter what the label is?"

Jisung thought about that and finally shook his head. "No it really doesn't. I doubt he'd be interested in me though. I'm just the goofy little brother he has to take care of."

"Sungie, give him more credit than that. Besides, the rest of us see how he looks at you and there is, at the very least, mutual attraction." Felix knew it was closer to love than attraction but held the words back figuring that was for Minho to say.

Jisung looked at Felix with surprise. "He wouldn't be attracted to me. Hyung is gorgeous, talented and sexy. What could I possibly offer him? He could have any guy he wanted."

"Sungie, don't sell yourself short. You are so talented. You have this rap flow that is amazing, you sing beautifully, you can dance, produce, make people laugh effortlessly and you are so cute. I think Minho struggles a bit getting close to people because he is quieter. You push him in a good way. I think he appreciates that."

Jisung thought about that for a bit and then nodded. "He feels like we are supposed to be together somehow. Maybe just as friends or brothers but he is supposed to be in my life. I used to think that was all there was but the closer we got the more I started to notice him. I've always known he was gorgeous but I've started to notice how I feel when he is around. I can't take my eyes off him. But also I feel so safe with him. Like when I am with him, I'm....I don't know, whole?"

"Like you are soulmates?" Felix asked.

"Yeah...maybe...I don't know." Jisung hesitated, deep in thought.

"Soulmates don't have to be romantic, Sungie." Felix said, though he believed they were romantic soulmates but Jisung clearly wasn't ready to admit that yet to himself. Jisung nodded.

"I'm sorry I made you think I had a problem with you being bi." Jisung finally said and impulsively kissed Felix's cheek who blushed.

"It's ok. I just wanted to make sure we were ok."

"Always, Lixie. You are my brother, always."

Felix looked over at Jisung with a grin. "Thanks Sungie. I love you."

"Love you too Lix." Jisung said back and grinned back.

Their conversations turned to more mundane things and finally Felix fell asleep wrapped around Jisung the way he always did after a hard conversation. Jisung however was lost in thought and couldn't sleep. Finally he realized he wouldn't be able to sleep without Minho. He hesitated awhile, trying to relax into sleep but as much as he loved Felix and as great as his cuddles were, he missed the quiet assurance and comfort that Minho gave.