I'm Normally Perfect (re-upload)

Chapter Sixty-Three

'He only wanted to let you know they've booked a suite at the Radisson for you and wanted to know if I was joining you. I said I didn't know.'

'Why would they book a suite for me?'

'For the awards ceremony next weekend.'

'Oh. He phoned for that?' Why would he think I needed that information so urgently?

'Are you certain you're all right?'

'I'll be fine.' I didn't need her pity.

We stood in silence so long I forgot why she'd come over and then she asked, 'Would you like me to go with you?'

That required more thought than I could possibly muster. I blinked slowly and looked at the floor. I honestly didn't feel strongly about it one way or the other. She clasped my arm and I looked up at her. 'Darling...have you been...are you...?'

She had that look on her face she'd had when she found me in the bath. I said, 'No, I haven't hurt myself.' The idea hadn't even occurred to me, though now that she mentioned it...

She breathed out in relief. 'How have you been really?'

I looked away again, I didn't want to admit how miserable I'd been since she'd obviously moved on. 'Oh...you know.'

'Right. Me, too.' I snorted and she asked, 'What?'

I said sarcastically, 'I'm sure you've been crushed.' I hated that I'd admitted it, but it was worse that she thought I was stupid.

She looked offended, 'I have been, actually.'

I laughed, feeling my throat closing, though I didn't think I was going to cry. 'I'm sure Professor Holbrook is helping loads.' She looked confused and I explained, 'I saw him in the kitchen the other night.'

She shook her head. 'Nothing happened.'

I nodded, not believing her for a second. 'Right.'

'I swear, Catherine.'

'He lives in Oxford, was he just strolling through and thought he'd pop in?'

'No, he sat in on one of my lectures and afterward he asked me to lunch, which I declined. He asked why and I said I already had plans so he asked about dinner. He's very pushy, honestly. He's a nice man, though.'

If she hadn't slept with him she was going to. I said bitterly, 'I'm sure he is.'

She regarded me with the corners of her mouth drawn in. Her voice was clipped, as if she was delivering a weather summary, 'I swear nothing happened. He came over and we had dinner. We talked. Afterward he...kissed me and I kissed him back, but it felt wrong. I told him I wasn't ready for anything serious. He said we didn't have to be serious and I said I wasn't ready for anything of any sort.'

I didn't know if I should believe her or not. I wasn't crazy about the kissing thing, but she had pushed him away. I narrowed my eyes.

'I wouldn't lie to you, Catherine.'

'I know.'

'I also wanted to ask if you were interested in going to the party this Wednesday.'

'What party?'

'Retirement for Sir Charles. The lot of us are throwing a do for him.'

I couldn't think of anything I'd like less. 'He's old enough to retire?'

'Apparently. They've been asking after you. And I would really like it if you'd go.' She added softly, 'I've missed you.'

That broke my heart, 'All right. What time?'