I'm Normally Perfect (re-upload)

Chapter Sixty-Three

'Ah. That would be me.' Look at that. Because I was born in Northern Ireland I was eligible for the Eighth. Even though I'd lived there for six months and had exactly no recollection of the place. I took down the particulars: when the short list would be announced and when and where the ceremony was to be held. I put down the phone, 'I'm only on the long list.'

'That's not exactly bad news.'

'Oh, no, I only meant that I'll probably be cut from the short list. They just want to show how hip and cutting edge they are-that's why I'm on in the first place.'

She brought over a mug of Bournvita, 'Did Simon say that?'

'No, but these things are so political, you know. Graham told me all about it when we were in Washington. He said I was a golden child like person that the media would build up in order to tear down again later.' I sipped my hot cocoa, 'Thanks.'

She sat opposite me at the table, 'That's an awfully cynical way of looking at it, isn't it?'

I shrugged, 'It's not difficult to believe, though, is it? I don't think it's cynical if it's true. Pure talent doesn't have much to do with it.'

'That's a helpful view to take if you lose.'

I laughed, 'Yeah.' I really looked at her, I hadn't done since she'd knocked me up. She was as lovely as ever in her painting smock. We hadn't seen one another in nearly a month and I'd had missed her. I hadn't realised how much until she was sitting across from me.

She noticed me staring and smiled, 'What?'

'You look wonderful.'

Her smile widened. 'Thank you, darling. You look thin. What have you been eating over there?' I shrugged and she nodded, 'That's what I thought. Why don't you come over for dinner tonight? I'll make whatever you'd like.'

I shook my head, 'I don't think that's a good idea. I'd only want to stay over.'

'That would be all right.' I looked at her and she added, 'Or perhaps not in your opinion.'

'If I stayed I'd not want to leave again and there'd we be, right back where we began.'

'You're probably right...How have you been?'

'Fine. The house is spotless and...well that's about it.' I added, as if it were newsworthy, 'The telly works brilliantly.'

She laughed, 'Good to know our licensing fee isn't going to waste.'

'What about you?'

'Painting a bit.'

'How are your lectures getting on?'

'Oh, great! Just, really well. The change is nice, you know.'

I nodded, 'That's good,' and we settled back into silence. I finished my drink and put the mug in the sink. 'I think I'll get back to my...Saturday.' Ah, more kipping.

'All right. Any time you'd like a proper dinner just let me know. Or come over. Probably over there surviving on Pot Noodle.'

I smiled, 'I'll be fine. See you around, then.' I waved at the door and crunched back to my house, where Clem was waiting for me. 'I'm sorry, but you weren't awake and I had some big news. You might want to sit down for it.' She did and I said, 'I made the long list for the Eighth.' She licked her lips and resumed panting. 'I know, I know. I can't believe it, either.' It didn't seem real to me because I was so cocooned away from the world or because nothing seemed too very important, I couldn't say. It felt as if nothing was real, that if I closed my eyes and opened them again I would wake up to an entirely different life. Ah, the joys of Numb as a state of being. Stress-free it was. Happy-free as well, but it was worth it to have the stress-free bit. "Welcome to Numb, where everything's grey and there are no worries." Perhaps that's what I should rename my house.