I'm Normally Perfect (re-upload)

Chapter Sixty-Two

'Of course, you may have whatever you'd like over there.' She gave me a shy smile. I piled up my books and decided to read a PD James novel. I hadn't read in months, as I'd been horribly depressed, but now that I was happy again I wanted to read everything in sight. And write! God, I had so much writing I wanted to do. I didn't know what about, but I wanted to be productive. After we'd put out the lights and settled down in the dark her voice came to me,

'Would you like a cuddle?'

'Yes.' I met her in the middle of the bed. It was as if we'd never slept beside one another before and we had to re-learn where our arms and legs went. Once that was sorted she wished me a goodnight and I wished her the same. That became our routine for a month, except at the weekends we sat outside during the day and I watched her garden or read on a blanket nearby. It was exactly like when I'd first moved in with her and I loved it. I wanted it to go on that way for ever.

We attended the first dons' meeting of the term. I was nervous that people would know we were in love, but no one seemed to notice anything was different. In a way, nothing was different, as we always had been, we simply hadn't known it before. Dr MacBeth was there and after everyone got reacquainted from the summer break and broke off into smaller factions I asked if the seat beside her was taken. She said no and I plonked down beside her. I wanted to say, "I'm gay, too! Isn't it brilliant!?" But I asked calmly, 'So, how are you getting on?'

'All right, yourself?'

I still felt I was talking to an ice sculpture, 'Oh...fine.' I didn't want to be too ecstatic because one: that wouldn't be very English and two: I didn't know where she stood with Lena. If they were still having problems I didn't want to jump on the coffee table and begin singing about how glorious every tiny thing in the world was. 'And the new term, how is that shaping up for you?'

'That's going all right, as well, I have a few students who are promising.'

'That's good. Alex says she has some Master's students who she's not certain how they got in.'

She gave me a tight smile and I rather wondered why she came to these things if she wasn't interested in talking to people. Personally, since Alex and my little conversation I wanted to get out and talk to everyone, or at least be in public with my Alex. Look at my lovely...friend? I didn't know what to call her anymore. "Girlfriend" sounded so odd... "partner" wasn't right... "lover" was out of the question, as we hadn't, well...you know...besides, I liked the sound of "my Alex" anyway. My Alex. Just thinking it made me smile.

I waved at Georgiana, who'd arrived a bit late. She'd wondered if it was all right to continue attending the meetings since her husband had passed away and everyone had assured her she was most welcome. I thought everyone liked her more than they did Professor Burrows. I asked Dr MacBeth gently, 'So...how is Lena?'

Her jaw worked, 'We're not...I don't know.'

I nodded, 'Oh, well...' I didn't feel it was my place to comment on their relationship and the only thing I would have been able to come out with would be platitudes anyway so I said, 'I understand.'

Her eyebrow quirked up and she asked coldly, 'Do you?'

'Yes.' Did she think that simply because I was younger than she was I didn't know about relationships? When I thought Alex and I were breaking up I'd wanted to die. I tried to say with as much conviction as I could muster, 'I do.'

She narrowed her eyes a bit, 'How are your books doing?'

'Frightfully well. They're talking about selling the rights to France, Germany and Spain.'

'Well that's good news.'

'So I don't have to go there, it is.'

Her features relaxed, 'You don't enjoy travel?'