Calamity [Zarry Stylik AU]©️

Chapter 27: BABY, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME

H,

I looked deeply into Zayn's eyes. He was sitting on the floor, crossed-legged, right in between my legs looking up at me. His arms were on my legs, with his hands curling around my sides gently, while I sat on the bed looking down at him.

It was a weird power dynamic - as if I held all the power. I caressed his face, touching his eyebrows, going down his cheek and outlining his lips. Zayn kissed the tip of my thumb and bit on it making us laugh.

We enjoyed each other's company, sitting in complete silence, while outside the rain continued to pour. I should be happy and relieved, but there was still that feeling tugging at me.

He had left me so easily.

Opened his hand, handed over the only way for us to talk and just left me in the dark for what appeared to be an eternity.

I knew this feeling wasn't originated from us, but what I had suffered from Louis. Louis would just let me go, easily. He wouldn't chase me, he wouldn't beg me, and I would always be the one on my knees - even when I didn't mess up.

So, I knew this was my baggage making its way into...I don't know, whatever Zayn and I had now. The best way to address this enormous suitcase of emotion was to just talk about it.

"You look worried," Zayn noted. My eyes had wandered away from his face, but I quickly found him again. "Something is bothering you."

"Something is."

"Tell me,"

I cupped his face, staring at every inch of his face. He was so beautiful. Simple features that he had inherited from his mother and his father, composed the beauty ahead of me. I was so lost in all of him. I was falling fast. My heart raced just by looking at him!

I needed to be firm. Steady. Direct. Zayn wasn't Louis. He wouldn't walk away from me and leave me with all my emotions until I broke. They were different.

"You left me," I announced, letting my eyes wander down to my shoes and letting my fingers intertwine between us. "You just left me."

Zayn's hand's stroke my thighs gently.

"I didn't mean to," Zayn replied almost in a whisper. "I was cornered and going through a lot."

"You just gave me up so easily," I continued looking down. There I was. Going down a spiral of emotion. "First you leave the hospital when I needed you the most. When all I wanted was to have you by my side.,'

'Then, when I think I can have you at a distance, you allow for that to be removed from us, Zayn. I couldn't bear it. I was in pieces. Aside from the physical pain, I had to live with the emptiness you left around me."

"Harry- "

It was too late now. My gates were completely open.

"Ever since I met you, you've just occupied every single second in my mind. You're living within me. I know it's soon. I know it's fast. But it makes sense to me, and I'm not scared of how intense this all feels. I was fucking terrified of not having you around." I looked up at Zayn who stared at me with intensity. "I was scared. I was so fucking scared and angry and revolted and full of...love, that I didn't know where to put it because you weren't there!"

"This is not how I wanted our reunion to go."

I looked at him confused. Was I ruining the moment? My anxiety began to show and the luggage from my relationship with Louis became heavy on my heart.

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm ruining this for you."

"Harry, no- "

"What, you thought you'd just come here and fuck me, so you can leave me again?"