Meant For You

three.

Try me.

The only reason I didn't go more off on Miles was because I didn't want to waste my breath on him. I have better things to do and better people to talk to. I just hope that's the last I see of him.

Focusing on myself and bettering myself is something I've been struggling with and that is all I need to worry about right now. I've got too much on my mind and plate to be thinking about horrible people.

I get some random splurges of bad mental health. It's nothing new. I'm used to it now. But it sure does fucking suck when it happens.

My most recent one was at the end of August when school started. It's almost the middle of November and it's still eating me up as much as I try to say it's not. The reason I started drinking and going out more was in hopes that being happy and having fun would push all of the negative thoughts away. It always works in the meantime - although there are times when it sadly doesn't - but it never lasts in the long run.

As soon as the next party is over, I'm back in my room. Alone. Crying. Staring at the wall or ceiling feeling empty. I do the necessary crying, fall asleep, wake up and pretend I'm fine. No one notices a thing and that's okay. It's the way I want it.

My mom and dad would worry too much if they knew. My mom was diagnosed with depression when she was a teenager so I know what she would try to do if she knew the way I was feeling. Dad would also do the most and I just don't need that right now. Being alone is better. I feel more content. It's one of the reasons I moved out of the house. I might not live alone but it's better than living with two overbearing parents and four siblings.

I miss them most days but the distance is something I needed.

"When is your brother's bday again?" My roommate plops down on the bench next to me. She's dressed in skintight black leggings, a light blue cropped long-sleeve, and some matching ankle socks. Her dark brown hair is pulled back into a high bun like mine and her face is all natural showing her freckles. She's naturally beautiful and her big hazel eyes complete her perfect girl-next-door look.

"Uh, Friday. Why?" I question, pulling off my skates. "Because," she shrugs, "I want to come to his birthday party. He's having a birthday party right?" I put the cover over my blades before throwing them into my duffel bag. "Seriously? He's turning 15, not four," I say with a small chuckle. She furrows her dark brown brows. "Well what do 15-year-olds do for their birthdays if not have a bday party?" she asks.

"You were fifteen three years ago, what did you do?" I shoot back, raising a brow. I slip on my tennis shoes and wait for her reply. "I don't remember," she taps her chin with her pointer finger, "I think that may have been the birthday I had mono." I shake my head. "Yeah, that's it! I stayed home watching all three high school musicals and my mom made me brownies as a cake." Her eyes light up at the memory but then they sadden.

I wrap my arm around her waist in comfort. "You can come to Brooks' party. My parents would love to have you there, Brooks too." It takes two seconds for her to take herself out of the trance she was in, turning to smile widely at me. We both grab our bags from the floor and start walking over to her car. Since our schedules were matched up today, we drove here together unlike separately like we usually do.

"Any plans tonight?" she asks as we both throw our bags into the backseat of her blue Volkswagen Beetle. It's a cute, tiny car she got as a graduation gift from her dad. "Maybe," I shrug, "if I get the homework I have for my Biology class done." I sigh at the thought. I'm terrible at any type of science oddly enough since my mom was a Bio-Chem major. I'm more of a business girl like my dad.

"You?" I ask in return. She starts pulling out of the parking lot as a car beeps behind her when she almost hits them reversing. My eyes widen but she doesn't even flinch, not acknowledging what just happened. "I have to finish revising one of my group partners' part in our project," she rolls her brown eyes, "he send it to me late, per usual, and it's due Sunday." I scrunch my nose at the thought. I hate group work, especially with procrastinators.