Die With You

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"um...i have a daughter. i haven't been in contact with her in two months...could i please call her, make sure she's fine? please."

"yea sure that's fine. is there anything you need as far as your daughter?"

"i want her with me...if it's safe like you say."

"ok that's fine. everything will be fine and better than what you're used to. the child will be just fine at the house. you'll see when you get there and if it isn't up to the way you would like her to live, let me know. get with Jhene on contacting her.

i have to go but if any of you need me, once again, Jhene. see you guys bright and early tomorrow." i walked back inside the building and made my way to my office.

seeing those women made me beyond thankful for the way my mother raised me. kept me away from the things my father exposed her to. i would be right in their position if she hadn't. those girls were sold to russians by their parents. looking for a better life but running into the wrong crowd of people.

"hi my baby." i spoke lowly to beyoncé. she was laying across the couch with a frown. another bratty way because i wouldn't allow her to sit inside. i didn't want my baby to see those women. she's sensitive and will become fragile. "i take it that you're still upset with me. not like i care but okay my love." i sat at the desk and pulled out files.

scanning the names of the women already inside my homes. figuring out which girl will go with who. a knock was at the door and I allowed their entry. Jhene handing over the box of folders that held the new women's information.

"thank you. please make sure the woman with a child gets in contact with the baby. make sure to ask the others if they have any children they're concerned about. you know if they have a child, they're sent to the home with the girls that have children as well. but before you do any of that, let me know who."

"gotchu."

i nodded as she walked out and focused on what i had to do.

"can we go home?"

"when i'm finished we can my love."

"i wanna go now."

i sighed softly in attempt to keep my frustration down. she knew when she was bothering me in a way to upset me. i've grown since a child and have learned to ignore her, but she makes it hard at times.

i'm really chill and rarely say much, so i have no idea why she makes things hard. she knows how i am, and still does things like this.

"i said i wanna go home onika."

"i hear you baby." i spoke softly. step 1.

"so why are we still sitting here?"

"i have things to do baby. this is why i asked if you wanted to stay home my love. you said you wanted to come." step 2.

she didn't say anything so i figured she was done. i clicked on my computer and began to search the women who gave me these girls. making sure their background is what they told me.

"oh my gosh."

"beyoncé...please chill." step 3. if asking her to calm down doesn't work, she's asking for it. i calmed my twitching eye and kept my focus. it's been a minute since i've had to react in a way that i know will hurt her feelings.

"i'm saying i want to leave and you don't care."

"ok."

"don't ok me. take me home."

"beyoncé."

"onika."

"ok love." i sighed and continued my work. no matter what, i'm not leaving. before we left home, i made her assure that she wanted to come. even telling her she wouldn't be sitting in before we came. so she knew.

all of this is unnecessary bullshit.

"i'm leaving."

"that's fine baby. i'll see you at home. kiss my baby for me."

"come home when you told her you would and don't disappoint her like always."

i looked at her and blinked. she knows that that's a close place and hit at home for me. this is why i question the way she loves me. any time she expresses it, i second guess it. it's things like this. she knows what will hurt me and make my mind race more than it already does.

what she said was true, but it's the moment she's said it in. if it was any other day, her just telling me the truth, i would be fine and understanding. but she only said that because she wants to get under my skin.

"bye beyoncé." i swallowed the lump in my throat while clearing my throat. i'm guessing she didn't think i would react that way, so she came towards me. "go home bey. i love you and i'll see you later."

"i'm sorry baby...i didn't mean to say that."

"but you were thinking it, which means you've thought it before."

i didn't give her my eyes for a second. she didn't deserve it.

"i didn't mean it."

"bye beyoncé."

"i love you."

"mhm."