The 20 Percent

Chapter 16

It is summertime, and we had an inflatable pool. Me and my sister saw some kittens, and we wanted to play with the kittens.

We bring them into the pool with us, and they are screaming meowing, and ripping into the pool.

"Get out of the pool right fucking now!" We grab the kittens and let them loose before getting out of the pool.

We watch as the pool sinks and the water overflows out of the deflated pool.

It is my fault; I was the oldest. I should have known that cats don't like water.

My sister gets spanked and goes into the room. Now it's my turn.

I feel my dad's hate consuming me. He is so angry at me. It's my fault.

I bend over on his lap, and he spanks me with his palm.

The stinging pain hurts, but not as bad as the belt. Until he forms his hand into a fist and is punching me there. I am crying.

Stop hurting me!

I bite my hand, so I don't make noise. He will hurt me more if I make noise. He doesn't like it when I cry.

I get up off his lap when he is done, and I go into my room. I lay in bed and stare at my ceiling.

I close my eyes, and I am no longer in this trailer.

I am in a field of flowers and it's me and my mom. She looks so happy.

"Klarisa, I love you!" She tickles me. She hugs me tightly and kisses the side of my head.

"I will always protect you." My heart is full. I know my mommy will always protect me.

I open my eyes, and my sister is watching me from the floor.

I smile at her sadly.

I will always protect you, Carmella.

After that, I did my best to make sure it was me my father was molesting and not my sister.

There was no chance for me, but for her I could do my best to ensure she had one.

"Klarisa come here." I willingly go over to him and lay beside him.

His hands roam my body, touching me.

"Do you feeling anything when I touch you here?" He asks me, and like before I always say yes.

He rubs me there, and it feels good.

"You're my little girl, aren't you?" I nod my head. Yes, I am his little girl.

He rubs me harder. "You like it when I touch you here don't you?" I shrug my shoulders. I've found he is less interested whenever I don't give him a direct answer.

He inhales sharply, breathing in my hair and I can feel him on my butt.

I don't like this feeling.

He's not wearing any pants.

I can feel his penis on me.

My heart is pounding in my chest and fear is squeezing me in its grasp.

"Open your legs." He murmurs in my ear, and my heart starts to beat more. I don't want to. I wiggle to try and get away, but he is holding me so tightly against his chest that I don't succeed.

I squeeze my eyes shut and think of my mom.

Surely, she will be home soon, and I won't have to feel this anymore.

He has one hand down over my pj pants on my sensitive area, and his other hand is fondling my boobs.

He is moving his hips against my butt.

I don't want to be here.

Suddenly he shoves me off of him and glares at me hatefully.

I cringe back. I am thankful he left me alone. Why is he angry at me?

I run and hide in my room, throwing the blanket over my head, taking in shuddering breaths. Where is my mom?

I am scared of the doctor touching me. She will see how dirty I am.

"We just have to give you a shot sweetie." She is holding a needle in her hand.

I feel out of control, I don't want a shot. I don't like this.

"No!" I run away from her, and she calls in nurses to hold me down.

I am transported back to my dad holding me down.

I am panicking.

I can't breathe. I feel the sharp sting of the needle and I start to cry harder.

"It's alright Bridgette. Little kids never want to get the shot, this is a normal reaction." The doctor laughs a little.

"Okay..." I hear my mom's uncertain voice, before I feel her hold my hand. "It's okay Klarisa." Her voice is softer than normal, and I relax a little bit.

Mom is here, and nobody can hurt me when my mom is here.

The doctor gives me a sucker and I take it greedily.

I don't get to eat sweets very often. The taste of the sucker explodes on my tongue, and I hesitate, I want to hold my mom's hand.

I look up at her, trying to gauge her mood before trying to grab her hand.

She looks distracted, I don't want to irritate her. "Do you want McDonald's?" I nod eagerly. I love McDonald's.

She gets me a happy meal with a toy for girls, and I play with the toy on the way home.

My heart feels full. My dad may hate me, but my mom loves me.

She drops me off at home.

I swallow thickly, I do not want to be here without her.

When I walk inside, I see my sister and my dad laying together on the couch and he is whispering to her.

I feel my stomach twist and I want to grab my sister and run away.

She doesn't look at me, and I can't look at her. Shame. That's all I feel. I should have tried to stop it.

I cannot save my sister.