GYM CLASS
On your first day of sophomore year you still might feel a little uneasy, although this isn't your first time in this building it has been a few months since you had to float around it. Everything almost feels unfamiliar again and you have this urge to pick at your finger tips while your waiting in the cafeteria for your schedule collection. Your last name is at the end of the alphabet so you float around the different billboards looking for your name, not really looking for familiar faces. The ache of first day anxiety still strikes me as an adult, my palms get sweaty and I feel my ears get hot. I know that I wanted to clear out of this cafeteria as soon as I could, so I had done so. I gathered my schedule and my items and headed into the main hallway, I started to make my way towards my first period, English II. I let my eyes gaze over my schedule and I am pretty satisfied with all of my classes so far, every teacher is decent and each classroom sits decently close to one another. Except for one, Physical Education II.
I wanted to rub my eyes and make that what I was seeing before me was real, I had to take gym for the second year in a row. And it may seem dramatic or maybe like a dream to you to have two years of gym, really it doesn't seem that bad. Only I had purposefully passed last year to avoid taking it again ever, what I needed was a health credit. I had waited my first period out to take my schedule to Mister E. but he told me that every health class had already maxed out on their limit. I told him taking gym again was really not the extra credit I wanted to require yet I did still walk away with PE II for my fifth period. I was neglectful at first, on the first day I contemplated even showing up to the class room. I weighed out my options and decided against skipping it, I had taken this class already and I am sure that Misses N remember that. When I had walked in I didn't go up to Misses N just yet, I went to the bleachers that she had pulled out just like last year, signed my syllabus and sat quietly examining the people with in the room. I knew a few of them, I had seen them last year around school or in some of my classes, I knew a group of girls there from rugby, which is very important for later.
After some time Misses N calmed the chaos in the gym room down, we turned in our syllabus' and walked a few laps around the gym room. There were many people who were trying to talk to Misses N the first day I figured I would hold on tight to my complaint, I didn't want to bombard her anymore. The rest of the day was quiet boring, reintroduction to myself and my interest, what my favorite color is and what my comfort movie is to a bunch of people who won't remember it tomorrow. Which in a way is comforting, none of these people genuinely care about me or my funky facts about myself so I try not to stress it too much. I couldn't even tell you if my favorite color is the same as it is now or if it has changed and I don't know my favorite movie anymore either. I don't think anything significant happened that night either, or the day after that either. I did get to talk to Misses N about my schedule, we agreed that I should've been in Health before a couple of other placements but there was really no other alternative credit. Instead I just had to sign into class, just be present. I didn't really have to participate if I didn't want to, I guess in a way I was hoping to use this as a free period.
On the third day of school, I can remember everything pretty clearly. Not what I did in the morning, I'm sure I went about my regular routine. I have to shower, brush my teeth, hair, wash my face and ect. I would get my clothes together, a dark grey sweater and my black skinny jeans and these grey lavender floral vans. I was close to tasteless clothes wise, giant sweaters and the same black pants repeatedly. The only thing saving the travesty of my wardrobe was my shoes that would match any sweater that I owed, which comes into play later. I'm going into gym class, signing in, and sitting on the bleachers once again. Misses N tells us to start walking our laps shortly after so I do so, I do a couple of laps alone until
"I like your shoes." I can remember the way their voice ran in my ears. If the color light cerulean had a voice it talks to me all the time.
"Thank you, I like your shoes." I look down to their feet before I look up to their face, they had checker vans on, your usual black and white. It was the first thing I had seen, and moments after I had seen Her.
They had dark brown hair, down and passed their shoulders. They had a middle part, their hair is wavy and tucked behind their ears. A white uniform collared shirt and black jeans too. She had freckles splattered all across her face, and the softest eyes I've ever met. She was taller than me by some inches with a gap in their teeth to match mine. We talked some, mostly covering the basics when you are making small talk. Where are you from? Where did you go to school? What grade are you in? What kind of music do you like?
I quickly got to gather information about Her, Brooke. Not short for anything but Brooke. They came from a different middle school than I did in my city and they were a freshman. They had a dog at home and they enjoyed the same range of music I did. I'm sure we giggled some, I've always found Bee to be humorous. They've lived in a California before and also did not enjoy gym class as much as I did.
I guess to include this next part, it's important to introduce A. A is my girlfriend at this time, we were both sophomores. We were maybe together five or so months at this point.To be completely honest I wasn't sure exactly what kept me in this relationship. I factor in the idea that I was fourteen around this time and had no reasonable concept of love or respect for myself, never the less I was there. But I wasn't really there. I never cheated before, it was never something I cared to dabble in. However A had her fair share some months prior and I decided that I, at the ripe age of fourteen, deserved that. It was detrimental to my younger self really, a blow to all of the wrong places. I filtered out after that but with the right words and the few short weeks of action changes, I agreed to move past it. Though, I don't think I actually could forgive her. The argument that I should've left if that was the case could be argued but not if it didn't seem like an option. I should elaborate that at fourteen, I was not thinking in this mindset. It was my first genuine relationship, I hadn't done this before. And for starters on the scene, I was definitely onto a rough start.
I had met up with A in the hallway connecting the gym hall and the engineering hall we would have to walk through so I could go to Biology. She told me briefly about her day and what she had done in the previous classes, she hadn't asked me about mine. I came up to us while we were talking to tell us about her day as well, I is my best and only friend. I don't remember anything specifically said during this period until I seen Her.
Brooke comes right through the hallway, straight for me and I can feel my heart beat start to fasten and my palms start to clam. They put their hand on my shoulder briefly as they were walking by, and with the same kind eyes they looked at me with the first time said, "I am going to kill myself." and before I could comment back she's on the way to her next period.
I looked at A and I, I seemed more intrigued and conspicuous than I expected her to be. She didn't mention anything to me about it and said her goodbyes because the bell was close to ringing. I pushed A to class, who didn't say anything to me until my arrival at my door.
"Who was that?" A said as if I had done anything questionable yet.
I didn't really even know how to classify Bee at this time, are they my friend? We had one conversation today. "I met her in gym class, why?"
"Because she is touching you. Like she knows you."
I tried not to stress the situation any more, I told A that she was really looking too hard into something that is not there. A didn't seem to buy it, I didn't think I had bad intentions when I first met Brooke, but implicitly I might've.
