Healing

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By the time Air Force One landed at Andrews Jill was dozing against him. Joe had to wake her to prepare to land and he could see that she was bone weary. As they stood he held her coat out for her and gently kissed her cheek, holding her close to him for a moment, letting her readjust again before stepping back into the full-view of the cameras. As they descended the stairs of AF1 she held his hand tightly, letting go just long enough for him to salute. The camera flashes cut through the almost darkness leaving a halo of light hanging over the assembled press group, their shouted questions, unanswered by Joe, followed them across the expanse of open space. They made their way without delay to Marine One. He just wanted to get her to Camp David and then she could rest without interruption.

He helped her into the cabin, holding her hand as she negotiated the step, resting his other hand lightly on her lower back lest she stumble. He stood directly behind her as she stepped up. It was his customary position as she negotiated the tricky steps onto the helicopter where he would be ready to catch her, break her fall, would shield her misstep from the merciless viewfinders of the ever-present, all-pervasive cameras. Without any issue tonight she settled into the seat opposite. He was sorry that the arrangement in the cabin didn't allow for her to sit beside him. He felt that she needed to feel physically connected to him tonight. He understood how she was feeling. Had some idea at least. The Covid self-isolation and subsequent reentry into society were bound to take a little adjustment; it had for him too. But to do as Jill did. To renter into the heady glow of the world's media and an historic speech was on another level.

When he was in isolation it had been more of a nuisance than anything, he hadn't stopped working, and by the nature of his job, he always had someone nearby, albeit at a distance. But for Jill it was different. Once she got home to Delaware she had to face another period alone. But for Anthony who had brought her meals and left anything she needed by the door she saw nobody for five days. She had been confined to a couple of rooms. It pained him to even think about that.

Luckily at both houses, she at least has a balcony to get some fresh air and see the sea. He had kept her spirits up as much as he could and they had talked numerous times every day, chatting about what was happening in the world, with the kids, the extended family. Inevitably, before the end of every call they made each other laugh, lifted each other's spirits, sharing the burden. Joe looked at her now, seated across from him she looked pale, tired. She had been so nervous before the speech, ecstatic afterwards, chatty and enthused and making sure everyone was thanked and acknowledged but that all sapped the energy from her. She was exhausted. Looking at her now in the dimly lit space he thought back over their 'covid-time' as they had taken to call it.

It still grated on him that he couldn't be with Jill when she needed him, it was anathema and he knew she felt the same way. For the past six weeks they hadn't been able to be together and care for each other when they were each unwell. Do the little things for each other; fetch a drink, cuddle under an extra blanket, hand over control of the remote, buy favorite books and magazines and treats, fuss over each other, pamper each other, give each other an insulated space to be miserable and wallow in self-pity in the beautiful embrace of the other, to reach for the hand you knew better than your own, to run fingers through locks of her hair, to stroke an arm, a thigh, rub his back, to say I'm here. You're not alone. I don't care how awful you feel. To me you're so beautiful; that's what covid cheated them of.

He smiled a wry smile as he looked across at her and watched her eyes closing, eyelashes flickering, head gently lolling to one side. He let his eyes roam over every inch of her face and her body. He settled down to watch that she was comfortable, ready to lean across if turbulence caused her discomfort, if a change in cabin pressure caused her to awaken suddenly. He was ready, waiting to do anything he could to make things better, more bearable for her.

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