Burnout

What is Real?

It was fair, I'd been sent to my room for shouting at Master Splinter, but I couldn't help but have a million different complaints rattling around in my mind. I was just defending Leo, I couldn't help but be passionate. Raph yelled at him all the time, all of my brothers did at some point, and they never got in trouble. I didn't mean to interrupt him or be disrespectful, I was just worried about my brother. I had so much I wished I could say to defend myself, but even if I was given the chance to without consequence, I just didn't think I could do it. I couldn't believe I was even able to bring myself to argue with him, it was out of character for me. I hoped it didn't wake Leo up, or at least that Leo didn't hear the arguing. I didn't know what he could or couldn't hear from his room since I was almost never in there, I'd have to stay in there for a while sometime with his permission. I pulled out the bookmark April had technically give me and held it to my chest for comfort. It smelled like a new book with a bit of rose petals, it smelled the way I'd expect studying with April for school would be like. Oh, if only I'd been born human, then I wouldn't have to deal with any of this and April and I could just go to school together like normal teens. Maybe then I'd have a chance with her, and maybe then my brothers would be nicer to me. If we were all humans, we wouldn't have to always be working to defend ourselves and hide in the sewers. 

I didn't completely mind my life, it was just that I hoped for something new instead of the mundanity of my regular life. Just because it would be anything but mundane for anyone else didn't mean that I couldn't tire of it, after all. Why was I tiring of everything I used to love, though? Why did I all of a sudden want to be human when I used to love just being myself? I loved being able to defend myself and wanted to be a ninja more than anything else. Science was my favorite of everything, too, why was everything losing appeal? Why did I want nothing but to lay in bed and pray for that dream to come back? There were even more questions, great. I'd have to get to my journal before I forgot them, but Sensei told me to stay in my room. I was a ninja, though, I could sneak around if I wanted to. If I used my special escape route, I'd have access to any room I wanted, then I could just grab the journal and go back into my room before anyone noticed. I'd have to set up a fake Donnie just in case, one that looked real enough and could respond without sounding like it has a speaker, so the most logical thing to do was set up pillows in my shape, then set up a speaker and alter it a bit. It didn't take too long since I had everything I needed already in my room for some reason, then I was set to go. Setting that up took way too much energy for a simple task, but getting the journal was easy. I didn't even need to make the fake Donnie apparently since no one even tried to go into my room. 

I scribbled into my journal as I laid in bed, then closed my eyes and covered myself in blankets. I let my consciousness drift into the darkness and it felt freeing, almost like floating. An array of colors floated around my vision, mixing into the dark grey of my eyelids hiding the light from me. I relaxed my muscles as much as possible, hoping to speed up the process of full sleep. Deep breaths finally brought me to sweet slumber, but my dreams didn't mean anything as far as I knew. My teeth kept falling out in one, and another one had sentient pizza, which was very confusing. Before I knew it, I was being gently shaken awake. "Donnie, it's time to wake up."

"Hmm?" I opened my eyes and baby blue eyes surrounded by orange were staring right back at me. "Mikey?"

"Good morning, sleepyhead! You fell asleep while we were talking, silly! I let you sleep, but you looked like you weren't having good dreams, so I woke you up." What?

"So... it was all just a dream?" I was so confused, I thought that our talk had been a dream, but me getting in trouble was a dream?

"I think so, dude. C'mon, I made us breakfast!" He skipped off and I sat up, somewhat excited for the day. Not knowing what was reality and what was fiction wasn't going to stop me from enjoying my day now that I knew what was what. I sat at the table and enjoyed the breakfast Mikey'd prepared for us both while he ate his own as quickly as possible. "Whaddaya think?"