The Widow's Bite (Natasha X G!P OC)

Chapter 56 || The Garden

All I want is to feel happy she's still here. Happy that I have Natasha. But there's this painful hole in my chest, an emptiness I know can never be filled again.

"I'm sorry Natasha. I can't give you what you want."

I go to turn away again but she grabs at me and grips tightly on my wrist, eyes flaring with a fierce anger I should know to be scared of but I can't bring myself to feel much of anything.

"Oh yeah? And how the hell do you think you know what I want? What do I want Jayce?"

With a slight shrug to my shoulders, I sigh, "I don't know. What do you want?"

"You, Jayce! Goddammit, I just want you! I've lost everyone too, you know! My mother when she was killed by Dreykov. I never even knew my father's name! I lost my adoptive parents, my friends, Clint's nowhere to be found, and I lost my little sister! So forgive me if I am trying to hold on to one of the only people I have left!"

My body flinches at her tone, the crack in her voice when she shrieks at me, the broken words spilling off her tongue.

For the first time in 23 days, it's like a wave of remorse comes over me. I stare at the woman I've clearly started breaking and blink away some forming tears as my shoulders slump.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," I breathe out, placing a hand on her shoulder but she slaps me away immediately.

"Don't."

My heart clenches in my chest; I squeeze the bridge of my nose and breathe out heavily, "I'm sorry, Natasha. I-I just...it all happened so fast. I'm sorry. I didn't...fuck."

I can feel my mind reeling. I can hear voices getting louder. Behind Natasha I see Gwen appear with a pitiful look in her eyes as she looks towards Natasha.

"You broke her."

My eyes squeeze shut while I shake my head, "Shut up."

"Excuse me?" Nat's voice comes back into my ears but I groan, "Not you. I-fuck."

"Jayce...I'm worried about you. You haven't been eating much. You only leave your room to train and when you do train you punch holes in the wall and break the punching bags. You won't even spare a glance at me most days."

Every time I go into that training room, I imagine Thanos. I imagine Harry Osborn. I imagine Ultron. I imagine the man that shot Ben. I imagine every single person that has taken someone from me.

And then I see them. Standing there. I see Wanda, crying. I see Peter asking where I was. I see Gwen telling me I was too late, I wasn't fast enough.

Then I think about seeing Natasha. Ever second I know she's in a room, I can't look at her.

Every single person I have loved has died.

I can't let the same happen to her.

She deserves better, someone that isn't a death magnet. She's lost enough as well.

"I can't look at you."

I know it hurt her to hear, but it's true. I can't. Because when I do, all I want is to kiss her, all I do is get lost in those eyes. But the last time a woman I love had her life in danger being associated with me, her father asked me to stay away to protect her and I didn't listen. And now that woman is dead.

Because I couldn't stay away. I was selfish.

I can't be selfish with Natasha.

"Y-you can't look at me?"

"No, I can't. I'm sorry."

"W-why can't you look at me? Jayce I am here–" "Yeah and I want it to stay that way so just...we can't do this, Natasha."