Don't Worry (rini)

Don't Worry

A/N: Hello! A few things here, I'm excited for how much I've been writing and still want to do so I will be releasing two things in the coming week or so. First is an actual story not based on songs (I'm shocked as well) that will have multiple chapters. The next will also be a book of one shots (all rini of course) for more songs or ideas I have. Super excited so if you want a song or idea in particular, let me know!!

*story deals with loss/grief*

When you're in love but you don't know what to do with it
When blackness hangs overhead like a cloud

Nini lays on her bed, crying as hard as she can in her dehydrated state. It's been three days and she doesn't know if she'll get up today. She hasn't been able to yet and she doesn't think today will be the day so she tries taking a nap. The arms of her husband surround her soon after and if she opens her eyes in the slightest she knows she'll see the glass of water and grilled cheese on her nightstand. He's been her only light these days, she can't believe he's dealt with her in the past few days.

——————————

Don't worry, darlin'
'Cause I'm here with you
Don't worry, darlin'
The sun will shine through

She wakes up screaming from her nightmare, it's happening so often she's considering just "sleeping" in the guest room at this point. Ricky would have none of that though, he wanted to be there for her so his hands are automatically on her back making soothing circles.

"Go back to sleep darling, the sun will be up soon" he whispers quietly.

Nini's frustrated at herself for waking him again, she knows she's being an extra burden to him. He actually goes out of the house and faces all the questions from their friends and family alone. She, on the other hand, wallows in her misery at home alone then cumbers him when he gets home.

"Stop thinking so much, I'll always be here for you" he says once she's been too quiet for his taste. He quickly gives her a kiss on the temple and brings her a bit closer.

———————————-

When you wake up and you don't know what day it is
When the pain flows through your heart and your bones

Nini doesn't know what day it is anymore, she stopped counting after the fifth. What she does know is that it must be a weekday since Ricky isn't home. She's so grateful for him, over a decade together and he was still her rock. For him, she summons the courage to wipe her tears and showers by herself. Then, she goes a step further and cooks him a plain dinner since she knows he'll be home soon.

Ricky finds her crying at the set dinner table. He's so proud of her though, he can tell she tried today and that's all he's wanted from her. It's been almost two months and though she's crying, he can see her efforts. His footsteps let her know he's there, but his soothing hands touch her and then she knows for sure.
"I think we should see someone" he whispers

"I think we do too"

———————————

Don't worry, darlin'
'Cause I'm here with you
Don't worry, darlin'
The sun will shine through

Dr. Fields helps them tremendously, giving them alternative coping methods along with seeing them together and individually. Nini is finally able to cry only once a day and has been able to finally leave the house. She's not ready to see anyone except Ricky yet, she doesn't have enough strength to face condoling eyes yet. What she also discovered was his suffering too— she was being selfish with her sorrow; it was theirs.

One day in their kitchen, she looks over and apologizes "I'm sorry for not being able to notice your grief. I was so caught up in mine that I forgot you lost him too." She chokes up

"Hey, don't apologize." He goes to hold her "I understood why; you spent almost every day of his life together. I knew it'd sting just a bit more. I don't blame you on how you grieve for him. I am just more silent about mine."

She embraces him a bit tighter "I love you"

"I love you too"

———————————

When you feel no one knows just what you're goin' through
When your insides feel much colder than snow

After another two months in therapy, she's ready to see her friends. They're having lunch at a cafe near her so she decides to walk since it was nice out. On her way she passed a park and started crying again. By the time she reaches the place her tears are gone, but her puffy eyes aren't. The girls are understanding and due to some prior instructions by Ricky, simply get her mind off it. Nini appreciates it more than they know.

At home she tells him and he assures her they'll be okay. The next week they attend a support group which also helps. It's the worst thing to have in common with a group of strangers, but in their mutual sadness they found an energy only the others could fill. It was like Nini could finally breathe around everyone, they didn't want answers or to wallow with her in her grief. The group wanted to just know that there were other parents going through the same tragedy— it was true empathy and understanding.

————————————

Don't worry, darlin'
'Cause I'm here with you
Don't worry, darlin'
Oh, don't worry, darlin'
Don't worry, darlin'
I'll always love you

You

It's been a year since they lost him. The parents are finally visiting his grave since the day they buried him.

"I can't believe it's been so long"

"I know, I can still hear his laugh sometimes"

"Yeah, he always used to tilt his head up like you when you laugh. That's why I love seeing it when you do"

"Neens..." his eyes are glossing over while he gently wraps his arms around her from behind.

"Yeah?"

"You were the best mother to him, I want you to remember that. There's nothing we could've done, but you made his time here so full of happiness. That boy loved you, you were his whole world and he knew how strong you were. Strong enough to get through losing him. I know it was tough, but I love and admire you for everything you did for him and me."

"Ricky—" she chokes up a bit "I could have never gone through it alone. I was almost gone too, but you didn't make me swallow my grief or ignore it. You were my rock through it all and the one who sought us help when we needed it while still getting up each day. I would have crumbled. Thank you again for that. I love you"

He lets his tears fall while he kisses her temple "I'll always love you"

Thanks for reading : )