glow•° || skz || nonbinary Felix ff

working•°

Knowing them, I was probably going to be convinced to keep the weirdest pieces of clothing ever designed.

Knowing Jisung, this was going to be absolute fun.

•°

One day, when I talked with Chan, I asked him if he suspected something before I came out to them.

'Yeah, of course. I know you. I've always had a suspicion in the back of my mind, I think. To be honest, I was sure that you're trans quite a time. Like, a trans girl. I never asked, though, because I wasn't certain if you even had an idea of this yourself and also.. something about the girl thing didn't totally add up. That all suddenly made sense that day you came to me and spoke of... nonbinary stuff. I surely knew then. But you absolutely weren't ready to talk about it then, so I left it. I know that you know you can come to me whenever something's up.'

•°

The members were there for me when I wanted to talk, when I needed to get something off my chest.

Seungmin was special, though.

He was the one who gave me space when I didn't want to talk.

The only one who could handle me in a bad, dysphoric mood.

I could come to him when I wanted to be neither around people nor alone.

He was there for me, showing me stupid cat videos on his phone until I could laugh again.

We sometimes spent hours cuddling, until I fell asleep on top of him, exhausted from all the crying.

I was thankful for him.

I also wanted to give a little friendship service back.

'Seungmin?'

'Mhm?'

'I've got a question'

'Mhm?'

'You don't have to answer if you don't want to'

'Ask already'

'Okay, okay. Um, you and Changbin? Are you a thing? Like, again?'

Seungmin stared at me.

I wasn't fooled. I noticed their lingering gazes and not-so-accidental touches. They had been a secret couple, breaking up years ago, but sparks were definitely still flying.

'I won't answer that, Felix. You're shit at keeping secrets.'

'Doesn't that answer say everything already?'

'Oh shut up.'

'Do you let him top?'

That coaxed an amused huff from him.

'Hell nah. Changbin's a bottom as you've never seen before.'

'Interesting. Tell me more'

'No'

It was a long evening.

•°

Hyunjin and I still met up for doing each other's make up.

Like always.

But there was something weird between us.

Usually, we'd hug and cuddle all the time, sitting on top of each other and so forth.

Yet since my coming out, I felt like he was more distant. Avoiding closeness and unnecessary touch.

It made me sick. Since the first time I noticed it, I paid extra attention to his actions whenever we were alone, basically obsessing over it.