Degrees Of Honor The Honor Series Book One

Chapter 10

"He had left, and went to the bar, I guess. That's what he did when he was angry with me. He'd go out, leaving me to clean up his mess or myself when he was done with me. After he would push me to have sex or when he would get angry like this. He would leave to calm down. When he came back, he would always be sorry for lashing out at me. He tried to make me forgive me. But that time, he didn't come back." Listening to her story, I took her hand and led Cassie to the couch. Sitting with her hand in mine, I let her continue.

Cassie focused on our joined hands and refused to meet my gaze. "When I got home from the hospital, I got a call saying he got into a brawl and was put in the brig. I didn't know what to do. I was so relieved that he wasn't there but I knew he would come after me when he got released. I couldn't be sure he wouldn't find me if I took off. I was so scared and completely alone."

What? Why was she alone? That doesn't make sense to me. "Where was your Dad?"

"We hadn't talked in months. We didn't get along well. I didn't like his rules. He didn't like my need to be independent. It was complicated." I understand that. I had a similar problem with my own dad.

"Okay. So you're at the hospital with the neighbor and Dean's in the brig. Why didn't you just go home? Cassie, you were in trouble. There's no shame in needing help." And hearing those words coming out of my mouth sounds hypocritical. I know my own thick head and foolish pride stopped me from going home.

"I couldn't. While I was at the hospital, I found out I was pregnant. My father would have wanted me to marry Anthony. He's old fashioned. I didn't want that. But I knew it was only right that I tell Anthony about it. I saw him once when he was in the brig." Why do I feel like that was a big mistake? Cassie let go of my hand and smoothed out the creases in her pants. Another nervous habit.

"And?" Encouraging her to keep going, I touched her cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Cass?"

"I thought I was safe, he wasn't getting out any time soon so I told him. He said I was stupid. He was so angry about it and cruel. He said I couldn't keep the baby. He wanted me to get rid of Jacob. He asked if I really thought it was a good idea to bring a child into this situation? How could I do this, when I wasn't even sure who my own father was? He questioned if I was sure this baby was even his?" Cassie's voice broke before she could finish the sentence. It was all so hard for her to think about again.

Bastard! I kept my thoughts to myself and pulled her into my arms. Settling into the couch, we watched the flames flickering in the fire and sat in silence, letting everything she just shared settle.

Anthony was cruel and demoralizing at best in boot camp. To think he continued on that road and he is terrorizing Cassie, makes my blood run cold and my temper flash. As calmly as I could manage, I nudged Cassie's head against my shoulder, giving her that solid confirmation that she can rely on me to be here for her. I know this wasn't easy to tell her story. She hasn't really addressed my own deception over who I am to the Colonel. She needs my support, my trust, and I'm going to give her what she needs now.

"Is he still in the brig?" It was hard to keep the anger out of my voice. I sound furious, rough, raw. Not what she needs. Not when I need to give her tenderness and care. I know Cassie hears it too.

She shrugged, I saw the expression of a worn down, tired woman, who was close to giving up, on her face. "I don't know. I've been moving around a lot. He always finds me. Until I came here. I figured someone was telling him, I was checking his status every time I moved to be sure he couldn't follow me. He always found out. So I stopped checking. I haven't been able to find out anything since I moved here. It was the only way to make sure Anthony didn't find me again."

"How did he find you if he's in the brig?" That stands out as a big problem for me.

"He would call me, send me letters. He even sent flowers once. I stopped checking on him, and disappeared here. Since then, since I moved here, nothing," she explains, easing herself over to snuggle against my chest.

Cassie

For the first time in two years, I felt safe. It's as if the weight I've been carrying for the last year has been lifted off my shoulders. I know Travis is upset. Not just upset, he's fuming mad. From the moment I mentioned Anthony's name, his body went rigid, tense. There's something he's holding back, he doesn't think I can handle it. He's trying to protect me. But I'm the problem. He's in danger because of me.

Travis probably thinks I'll be afraid of what he knows. And he doesn't want to scare me. He probably would if I wasn't absolutely certain that Travis is nothing like Anthony. If anything, the two are polar opposites. I know Travis is angry but it's not at me. By the tender way his hands touched me, the gentle way he kissed me and continued to touch me, I know he will never hurt us.

"Have you told your father about any of this?" Travis looks down, getting my attention. Leaning back to look into my eyes, he is able to see the pain of it all coming to the surface.

"No, I've tried to keep them out of this. I don't know what to say to him. 'Hey, Daddy! I did what you said not to and this is what happened.'" Giving a divisive snort, I shook my head. "No, my pride got the best of me there. And Anthony warned me, if I said anything before he was ready, he would hurt my mother. After I ran away, the last letter he sent me said he would hurt my mom. He threatened Jacob. He knows how close my mom and I were. He knows I love my son. I can't let him hurt my baby." I sobbed then as the dam broke and the tears flowed.

"It's okay, Cassie. Jacob's safe, so's your mom." Travis assured me. He's going to protect us. He's going to keep us from harm. No one will touch me or Jacob, Travis will see to that. "I'm gonna need a little time to do some research, Cassie. I need to find out what I can about Tom Roundtree and how he's connected to your father. Is there anything else you know that you haven't told me?"

I shook her head, wiping the tears from my cheeks. I never asked my father or my mother about my paternity. I honestly wasn't sure I wanted to know the truth of any of it. My father has been a perfect Marine. He is cool, calm and always, always, in complete control. There was no way he could have killed a man in cold blood, was there? If the letter was true, if my mother had an affair with Tom Roundtree, a man my father not only knew well, but served with, would that have tipped the scale on his temper? How bad could my father's temper be when he lost control?

It was late and I felt drained, exhausted from such an emotional upheaval. Travis left me on the couch and went to his room to grab his laptop. The Internet can be a very scary place when you really know your way around it. Travis knew his way. Setting himself up on the coffee table, he got to work. Little by little, the pieces started to fall into place.

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