Miles apart (Man × Man) ✔

24) p r o m i s e d

part two
Free falling

"The floor seemed wonderfully solid.
It was comforting to know I had
fallen and could fall no further."
- Sylvia Plath -

twenty-four
p r o m i s e d

"Thank you, sweetheart." Eliana gave Miles a smile, which was weary but full of warmth. She could use her arms to roll the wheelchair, but getting up the ramp turned out to be a challenge.

"How does it feel to be back?" Miles murmured, while pushing the chair across the hallway. A sweet, spicy scent welcomed them to the kitchen, even before Ash and Avi did.

"Oh, it's lovely, so lovely." Eliana tried to prop herself up from the chair, but Ash placed a firm hand on her shoulder and kissed her forehead.

When Miles sat at the table, taking in the three precious people gathered in the kitchen with him, he wondered how much could change in just a year.

When Miles first heard FAB was closing, due to some shady business its owner had allegedly been up to, it crushed him. The place had never lost its magic to him, the feeling that anything was possible inside its walls, under its bright lights.

It was the place where Miles and Ash's story began, and a holder of so many happy memories. Miles had felt like someone had stolen half of his heart, taken away his second home.

Until Perfect Day opened its doors. The café with its sweet blueberry muffin scented air and cozy atmosphere had brought tears into Miles' eyes. It had made his heart burst with relief to know they still had a place to hang out at with all of their friends.

"Miles helped to make these." Ash boasted while setting a plate of Peda, a saffron seasoned sweet, on the table.

"You did?" Eliana's eyes widened, like she couldn't believe what she had just heard. Then she picked up one Peda and studied it before taking a bite.

"Uh-huh, so if it tastes or looks odd, that's my handprint." Miles grinned sheepishly, holding his breath until Eliana made an approving noise and munched down the rest of the sweet.

"It's not bad actually." Avi agreed, sounding more surprised than Miles would have preferred to. But then again, it was no secret he wasn't to be trusted in the kitchen.

Miles had come to cherish those Sunday afternoons they spent at Ash's parents. With every conversation, steaming cup of sweet tea and shared smile he soaked in the feeling of being loved and welcomed as he was. Neither Avi nor Eliana ever made Miles feel like he was intruding, but just welcomed him with open arms like he was already part of the family.

Later, when Ash was washing the dishes and handing them to Avi who dried them before stacking them back in the cupboard, Eliana placed her birdlike hand on Miles'. Her eyes lingered on his son and husband before she turned to look at Miles. The smile she gave to him held so much affection it pretty damn nearly broke Miles' heart.

"Help me to my room." Eliana suggested. Miles didn't hesitate a beat before getting up from his seat and rolling Eliana to the bedroom. She took support from Miles' arm to get up from the wheelchair and lay on the bed.

Nerve by nerve her body was shutting down, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Miles, to whom Eliana was like a mother he never had, felt both frustrated and heartbroken. It wasn't enough for him to try to make her as comfortable as she could be or buy her time, he wanted to cure her.

"You're a good man, you do know that, right?" Eliana brought Miles back from his thoughts. She patted the bed and Miles sat down on the edge of it, fiddling with the hem of his hoodie.

"I try my best." Miles aimed for a cheerful tone, but the smile on his lips was wobbly and his eyes stung with unshed tears.

"You don't have to try so hard." Eliana smiled. She let her gaze sweep over the room, lingering on an old picture of her, Avi and Ash. Miles got up to take a closer look, using it as a pretext to keep her from seeing his bloodshot eyes.

"I wish you could have met me earlier." Eliana sighed, a wistful smile on her lips. In the picture Eliana and Avi were sitting on tall grass, Avi's arms around her while she laughed and hugged little Ash, who couldn't have been older than three. "Has Ash mentioned I used to be a dancer?"

"The best of the best." Miles nodded, slowly turning around to meet her gaze. She chuckled and shook her head slightly, as if to say: I wouldn't go quite that far, but I'm flattered. Neither of them said a word for a long while, and Miles hovered by the wall not knowing what to do or where to go.

"Will you take care of my boy?" Eliana whispered eventually. The unsaid words, "when I'm gone", hung in the air heavy and definitive.

"You're not going anywhere." Miles furrowed his brows and pursed his lips stubbornly, but he knew it wasn't up to him to decide. Then, when Eliana kept staring at him expectantly, he promised: "I will, you know I will."

"I know." Eliana closed her eyes and it didn't take long until she fell asleep, so Miles tiptoed out of the room and joined Ash and Avi in the kitchen.

He wanted to cry so bad it was suffocating him, but he didn't. He couldn't. It wasn't his pain to feel, and it was nothing compared to the pain Avi and Ash must have been feeling. Who was he to fall apart in their arms, to add his burden on their already heavy shoulders?

"We should get going." Ash glanced at Miles and placed a hand on his shoulder. They didn't say a word about it, but just that one touch seemed to tell it all: It hurts, I know, but we'll be okay.

"Yeah." Miles agreed, and then, to brighten up the atmosphere, he continued with a grin: "Don't forget to pack my share of the sweets."

"It's all ready to go." Avi handed Miles a plastic container filled with Peda and patted Miles' shoulder. He was a big man with huge hands, so the gentle pat wasn't so much a gentle pat, but Miles appreciated the gesture.

Ash took Miles to his house, because it was closer. Most nights they spent at Miles', where they could always count on getting hot water from the shower and sleep in the king sized bed. Although Ash would never admit it, Miles knew he enjoyed the luxury of the bigger flat.

"Do you want to order in?" Ash suggested when he closed the door of his apartment behind them. Miles considered the offer while he hung his jacket on the coat rack.

"Can we just, like.. I don't know, take the sweets and munch them on the bed, until everything is covered in crumbs and then fall asleep?"

"To sleep in the crumbs, huh?" Ash narrowed his eyes, bringing his forefinger and thumb to his chin like he was pondering dearly. Then he entwined his fingers with Miles' and started guiding him towards the bedroom: "Yeah, that sounds perfect."

They finished about half of the left-over Pedas, until the sweetness made them feel sick, and curled up in the bed. Ash was laying on his side, his arms around Miles, who had buried his face on his chest.

Miles listened to the steady beat of Ash's heart, letting it reassure him that there was nothing he needed to do or nowhere to go; the world would wait another night. He was lucky to have such a caring boyfriend, who, even on the worst days, could make him feel like they were going to be okay.