The Jock, The Nerd and The Geek

24

"Calmer,"

Hearing her say that people cared for him reminded him of Ace, and her too, and his Mother, he hoped. And he knew that though she had... Left him, she would always be with him. Some parts of him anyway.

"I'm glad."

Marcos could feel her stroke his hair, untangling any knots she could find as he said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"That I— I shouted at Mom and did that thing with the man."

"The first part was a long time coming, and the second... That was too much, treasure."

"I know. I just... I just wanted everything to be over. I just wanted to be... Necessary too. I don't know anymore."

Thinking it made him remember the hurt look in her eyes.

You matter to me, Eros. You matter. How many times do I have to prove to you that you do?

"Your Mother has no one, Marcos. You are all she lives for. Ace has no other friend that can stand him like you do. You are my grandson. The last male of the Gomez line. You are our pride and joy. You never had to do anything to prove your worth."

"I know, Abuela. I f— Messed up. I know."

"But I know she was hurt more than angry." Though Abuela didn't specify, he could tell what she was talking about. "She loved you too much, darling. Whatever she did, she did it with you in her heart. What do you think she'd say if she saw you like this?"

Marcos closed his eyes for a second and the next time he opened them, his voice came out in a whisper. "She'd be very disappointed."

"Why?"

"Because she wanted me to be— Be better," He didn't want to cry again but it was hard not to. "Grow."

"And are you doing that?"

A part of him destroyed at the fact he was disappointing her, even though she wasn't there and the other didn't want to cry. The other side won. "I don't have to. She's not my girlfriend anymore."

"Marcos. Alex didn't tell you those words as a girlfriend. She told you as a person that loves you very much and wants only the best for you. Did it ever cross your mind that if you became a better person, and she saw that you were, that she would take you back?"

His heart pulsed at the words, causing him to curl more under the blanket. No, he wouldn't think of it. Too much false hope... But still, "N-No,"

"She can't take you back like this and I like her as a family member."

"But what if she moves on? What if she just... I wasn't good enough?"

"Did she ever say this?"

"No but—"

"The more you think it, the more you see only had things, but think of all the good times you both shared. Never for once did she not love you and you know this."

Marcos said nothing now, both of them sitting silently before he looked up at his Abuela. She was older now. Wrinklier. He had never really paid attention to her because she had always seemed like a force that would never go away. That was always there and would always be there.

But she was growing older. And it was bittersweet to think of. "How do you know what to say?"

"Because I have spent many years wishing for many chances for something that would never happen,"

Carlos.

He tried smiling at her even though he was at the verge of crying again. "I hope one day you forgive yourself, Abuela."

This time, she answered in English. "And I hope you forgive yourself, as well, tesoro."

~

I love you guys, (but don't tell my other readers)

And I haven't said this before but TNTJTG has gotten so many reads! Okay, maybe I have said this but I am feeling emotional right now!

Thank you for reading my book even though I'm sure I'm writing complete trash all the time. I love every single one of you. Those that vote. Those that don't. Thank you so very muchhhhhh.

I was thinking of making an AU (alternate universe) with this characters. Something to get my vibe back. If you have any ideas, comment or inbox me.

Again, I love you. Thank you!