Karma Is Baby

6: I'm Not Blushing, You're Blushing!

"Goodnight," Nikolai said quickly as he rolled over and buried himself.
"Gogol," Fyodor sighed, "as I said before, Sigma will know. It's better to just get it over with..."
"Lalala, I can't hear you!" Nikolai put his hands over his ears.
Fyodor closed his eyes tightly as he sat up. He didn't regret taking Karma in, but now he was starting to think that the boy was a bad influence on Sigma...
Fyodor loosed a quiet sigh as he reached over and gently pushed Nikolai's shoulder, "come on..."
Nikolai shook his head, his hands firmly pressed against his ears.
Fyodor closed his eyes again for a brief moment, "please?"
Nikolai seemed to hesitate.
"... you aren't getting any more out of me," Fyodor said.
"Then I'm not listening," Nikolai stated adamantly.
Fyodor sighed through his nose, "... pretty please?"
Nikolai looked over his shoulder with one of his eyes, holding a skeptical expression. He slowly lowered his hands, "fine... but only because you asked nicely..." He sat up.
"So we have to... 'talk'..."
"He didn't say anything specific, though, so we could just-"
"No," Fyodor shook his head, "Sigma will know."
Nikolai frowned, "well he can go sit on a tack..."
Fyodor pinched the bridge of his nose, "I am... way too tired for this..."
"I..." Nikolai held onto his shins, his legs crossed. He was staring at the floor, "Uhm, I think you're pretty..."
Fyodor's hand lowered as he looked over.
"There. I did my part." Nikolai closed his eyes tight as his face got red.
Fyodor blinked, "pretty?"
"Yes." Nikolai turned his face away.
He blinked again, "oh..."
"Or- or whatever adjective you want," Nikolai added quietly.
Fyodor paused for a long moment. "So you find me physically attractive?"
"What part of 'I think you're pretty' do you not understand?!" Nikolai faced him, "it's a very simple statement!" His face was bright red.
Fyodor hesitated, "oh..."
"Why..." Nikolai tried not to sound frustrated, "why is that so hard for you?"
Fyodor looked around, "well... I'm sick..."
"That doesn't mean you can't be pretty..." Nikolai spoke quietly. He ran his fingers through the small bit of hair at the bottom of his braid, "I think I look pretty okay for being mentally ill..."
Fyodor shook his head, "I mean that I'm physically sick."
"I know that, I was just saying..."
The demon paused, "I'm just skin and bones, so-"
Nikolai looked up, "exactly."
"What?"
"... you have your tastes. I have mine..."
Fyodor blinked, "Uhm, anyways..." He tried to think of a way to get the topic off of himself.
"Your turn."
Fyodor looked up and said, "I don't have anything to say."
Nikolai's eyes flashed with many emotions, then it finally rested with nothing. He looked off to the side, "I just can't understand you..."
"Certainly you didn't think I-"
"No, I just..." Nikolai looked around frantically, "I thought that maybe you'd at least have something to say..."
Fyodor closed his eyes, "I guess... you aren't boring... and you're..." he tried to think of another adjective to describe him, "not bad looking." He used this round-about way of speaking in an attempt to deter Gogol from assuming he had any feelings for him.
But it didn't seem to be working.
Nikolai's face lit up, "I think you're super intimidating, too."
He blinked, "oh, we're... we're going to keep going?"
Nikolai shrugged, "why not? I don't know how long we are supposed to be in here anyways."
Fyodor paused, "uh, well, I... like your aesthetic..."
Nikolai's smile widened, "I really like your's, too! And- and your eyes."
Fyodor looked up at him.
Nikolai laughed nervously, "wow, that sounded a lot better in my head..."
"No, it's... fine..." Fyodor folded his arms loosely. "I like your eyes as well..." he couldn't think of a better way to say it.
"Really? But they're all weird."
"It adds to your personality," Fyodor smiled a little bit, "and Karma seemed a little freaked out by it earlier."
"What? You mean I missed his reaction?! Darn it!" Nikolai frowned as he placed his fists on his legs.
The door swung open and Karma stepped in, "Sigma said I had to chaperone you guys."
Fyodor chuckled, "I promise you, I won't let Gogol do anything."
Nikolai narrowed his eyes, "not to say I would do something, but I'm pretty sure I'm stronger than you."
Fyodor flashed a smirk, "you keep believing that."
Karma closed the door, "either way, Sigma didn't want me in the kitchen."
Nikolai waved Karma over, "come here."
Karma sent Fyodor a confused and worried glance, to which the man responded with a shrug. Karma hesitated before walking over to the clown.
Nikolai picked him up and set him in his lap, "we were just talking about you!"
"Uh..."
"All good things!" Nikolai pat his head, "only about your reaction to seeing my eyes."
Karma paused, "that's a good thing?... to be honest, I was kinda creeped out..."
"Yes, that's great! I'm just sad I missed seeing your face," he pinched one of Karma's cheeks.
Fyodor smiled tiredly as he started listing to the side, "I can go back to sleep..." He landed softly agains his pillow.
Nikolai rolled his eyes, pulling at Karma's ears, "we all know you weren't sleeping to begin with."
"Pretending to sleep is basically the same thing..." Fyodor spoke, half of his face obscured by the pillow.
Karma was surprised, "you mean he didn't sleep at all?"
"No, he's much too smart to let his guard down around anyone. There's no way he would go to sleep unless he was 100% safe. I don't think he goes to sleep at all when I'm home. He's probably worried I'm going to sneak in using my skill." Nikolai said this all in a very casual tone, but Karma could tell Nikolai was hurt and wanted Fyodor to trust him.
Fyodor sighed deeply, "not willingly anyways... I do believe one time I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. And when I woke up something was definitely wrong in my room, Gogol just so happened to be home at the time."
"You're just paranoid," Nikolai waved his hand at him before messing with Karma's hair.
Fyodor closed his eyes, "I'm just saying that my caution isn't baseless."
Karma nodded slowly, "I can understand being worried about something like that, but you know everything, right? So then wouldn't you-"
Fyodor looked at Karma, "I don't know everything."
"But... but you beat Ace, and even got him to..."
Fyodor closed his eyes, sighing into his pillow, "I don't know everything... but everyone seems to think so..."
Nikolai nodded, "it's incredibly difficult to stump you, no matter what I do. And you always know what I'm going to say before I say it."
"Not always..."
"It sure seems like it," Karma stated.
"I don't..." Fyodor said quietly, pretty sure no one would believe him.
"Are you ticklish?" Nikolai suddenly asked.
Karma had a bad feeling, "... why?..." He knew he had to avoid answering at all costs.
Nikolai's mouth spread into a toothy grin, "I just want to know."
Karma swallowed hard, "I don't think so..." He had to get away from this! "Uh- uhm- is Dostoyevsky ticklish?"
Nikolai diverted his attention to Fyodor, "are you???"
Fyodor sighed, "it doesn't matter."
"But it does. I want to know," Nikolai pouted.
"There is no way you'll ever get close enough to find out," Fyodor said.
Karma could tell this conversation was over.
Nikolai frowned, "you're seriously no fun."
"Then go play with someone else," Fyodor pulled the covers over himself.
Nikolai paused, "so you were playing with me just now?"
Fyodor shrugged, "sure."
The clown narrowed his eyes, "you're confusing me now..."
Karma remembered why he was in here. "Oh, what did you guys talk about?"
No one said a word.
Karma couldn't see most of Fyodor's face and he would have to turn around to look at Nikolai.
"I don't know if you've noticed but when someone asks you a question you're supposed to answer."
Fyodor heaved a big sigh, "we just complimented each other."
Well that was surprisingly wholesome. Though, Karma didn't think that was what Sigma wanted.
Nikolai agreed, "yeah, that's all..."
Karma folded his arms, "that sounds very uneventful. You guys didn't kiss or nothing?"
Fyodor's eyes (er, eye because Karma could only see one) snapped open and stared at him. Karma could feel Nikolai's stare on the back of his head as well.
Karma grew nervous, "why are you so surprised that I asked? Isn't that what Sigma wants?..."
Fyodor paused, "Sigma just wants us to get along..."
"See, you know everything..." Nikolai pointed out quietly as he started playing with the tag on the back of Karma's pajamas.
"He just doesn't like all the tension when all of us are in one room," Fyodor continued, "but that's something that will never go away."
"Why?"
Fyodor smiled tiredly, "I wouldn't want to burden you with the answer."
"I can handle it," Karma was determined.
Fyodor made his almost laughing noise, "I appreciate your concern, but some things are better left unknown."
Karma frowned, "I'm not a little kid. I'm thirteen." [or somewhere around there? I don't think we ever got his official age...]
Fyodor closed his eyes again, "I know... but trust me on this."
Nikolai put his hand on Karma's head, "maybe he'll tell you when you're older."
"Do you know?"
"Nope," Nikolai shrugged.
"Then I don't think there's much hope for me..." Karma sighed.
"Gogol just doesn't know because he's never asked..." Fyodor spoke quietly.
"So why is it so tense when we're all in one room?" Nikolai asked with a cheeky smile.
Fyodor sighed, turning his face into the pillow.
Nikolai frowned, "no suffocating yourself. That's my job."
Fyodor shook his head.
Karma clasped his hands in his lap. Was it such a bad answer?... Why couldn't Karma know? He was sure he could handle it. He grew up in the mafia as a slave! He was pretty tough!
Nikolai rested his chin on Karma's head, "how long do you think he will last like that before he can't breathe?"
"Huh?"
"I bet only twenty seconds," he held out his hand and started counting on his fingers.
"Oh- uh- I bet thirty seconds." Karma said hurriedly.
Nikolai chuckled, "if you win, I'll show you something cool."
"I don't have anything to give you..." Karma grew sad.
"That's fine, I'll just show you anyways," he laughed.
Karma came to the conclusion that Nikolai made no sense whatsoever.
Karma won. It was a full thirty seconds before Fyodor turned his face back over with a slight frown.
Nikolai rolled his eyes, "maybe don't try to suffocate yourself, then."
Karma nodded, folding his arms, "none of us would appreciate it if you died."
Fyodor sighed deeply as he closed his eyes, "that is true..."
Karma moved to sit at the edge of the bed, but still faced the others, "I'm not sure exactly what Sigma wants, but I think he'll tell us if we just ask."
"Probably," Nikolai nodded, "he's pretty logical that way."
Fyodor sighed again, but didn't say anything.
"He just wants us to get along, though, right? That's easy. I can behave when I want to."
Karma got the feeling that neither of the men actually wanted to know what Sigma wanted.
Karma shrugged, "or you could go with the easiest solution and just kiss?"
Nikolai's brows came together, "but we've done that tons of times..."
Karma's eyes bulged out of his head, "what?!"
Nikolai blinked at him, "uh... I guess it's just not something people in Japan do casually?..."
"He means on the lips," Fyodor clarified.
"Oh."
"And I think it's just you who kisses people all the time... Not even Ivan kisses me as much as you do."
"Hah! That's another thing I've beaten him at!" Nikolai smiled brightly.
"Who's Ivan?" Karma asked.
Fyodor sat up slowly, "he isn't here right now."
Nikolai shrugged, "anyways, Dos and I have kissed like that before, too."
Karma looked to Fyodor, pretty sure Nikolai was lying.
Fyodor dropped his eyes and grabbed his left arm, "he caught me off guard..."
Nikolai laughed triumphantly, "you should have seen the look on his face! Hah!"
"I should have hit you harder," Fyodor stated. "You're lucky I was awake enough to control my skill..."
Nikolai smiled wider, but everyone could tell he was scared by that last statement, "yeah, I had a clear hand print on my face for a few hours. Honestly, I didn't expect him to hit me! I though he wouldn't care just like everything else."
"I care about things..."
"Well, then, you aren't very good at showing it."
Karma looked between the two of them, "soo... you aren't going to tell me how this all happened?"
Nikolai shrugged, "it's not a very exciting story..."
Fyodor sighed, "just tell him before he starts assuming things."
Nikolai giggled ecstatically, "alright!
"So, it was late at night and I was super bored! I was trying to think of a way to annoy as many people at once! Maybe set a new record or two. It was only me, Sigma, Dos, and Goncharov at home. And I know that Sigma and Dos normally have tea in the middle of the night becuase Dos wakes up and Sigma somehow always knows. And I know that whenever Dos is out of his room, Goncharov is following him around like a dog, so everyone must be in one room!
"Truly, it was a great opportunity! And I wasn't about to let it pass me by! I just needed a plan... And so I set to thinking, what is the most annoying thing? Invading someone's personal space, right? Especially, Dos'. And especially when Goncharov is around. He's never 'unhappy', but he sure doesn't look happy whenever someone is making Dos upset or uncomfortable. And Sigma was easily disturbed. It was all so perfect.
"And so, I crept down the stairs towards the living room. Sigma and Dos were having a chat about a book or something by the fireplace. Dos was seated in the big chair on the right and Sigma and Goncharov were on the couch facing him."
"Why do you remember this so clearly?" Fyodor asked.
"... because I needed to remember it. It's important."
"Why?"
Nikolai paused, "... you wouldn't understand. It's top secret clown things."
Fyodor sent Karma a look and they had another silent conversation.
"He totally liked kissing you," Karma communicated.
"I don't want to think about that," Fyodor rolled his eyes back.
"Anyways! On with the story!" Nikolai announced.
"I walked in normally with my winning smile and greeted them all good morning. Sigma gave me a confused look and I had to explain that it was technically morning. He stared at me for a moment but didn't say anything. Then Dos set down his teacup on the small table beside his chair as he crossed his legs and greeted me back. Goncharov just smiled creepily like he always does. And not the good kind of creepy, mind you."
Karma kept wanting to ask who this "Goncharov" person was, but didn't want to interrupt.
"Ivan Goncharov," Fyodor said, "he used to live here with us."
How had Fyodor known what he was thinking?...
"Used to?" Both Karma and Nikolai asked in unison.
Fyodor nodded, "he won't be coming back..."
Nikolai seemed slightly disturbed but mostly relived, "now I can sleep easy knowing that weirdo won't be around."
Karma had the thought that Nikolai was a weirdo, himself.
"Anyways," Nikolai waved his hand. "I walked farther into the room and listened in on their polite little conversation. I waited for an opportune moment as I busied myself by studying the bookshelves until I had my opening. Finally, after some time, I knew it was time. I walked over to the right side of Dos' chair and asked a simple question. 'Dostoy, who is your favorite?' To which he responded with, 'I don't have one.' I laughed and said he must. 'Of course you have a favorite, everyone does.'
"'I don't.' He insisted. Now, I smiled quite widely at this. That was the best answer he could have given. Now, the situation would have turned out the same no matter who he said was his favorite, but I liked this answer so it was nice.
"'I'm not your favorite?' I asked him. He shook his head, 'no, I don't have a favorite.' 'You're just saying that because we're all in the room,' I said back, 'you don't want anyone to be less loyal to you.'"
Fyodor was surprised by how accurately Nikolai remembered this... Fyodor hadn't even remember so much detail...
"Dos took his final sip of tea, waiting a long moment. Then he stood up, pulling his cloak farther over his cold shoulders and said, 'I simply don't pick favorites.' I frowned at him, 'you don't have to lie, Dos. We're all adults, we can handle it.' Dos sighed, shaking his head." Nikolai smiled ever wider, "then I stepped forward saying, 'than maybe I can change your opinion.'"
Karma was completely invested in this story. He'd never got to listen to many not-depressing stories in his life, so this was an exciting experience for him. For Fyodor, not so much. He didn't particularly like remembering that evening/morning/night. Whatever time of day it counted as...
"Dos looked up at me, probably about to say something," Nikolai shrugged. Then he smirked, "but I didn't give him the time. I grabbed onto his shoulders and pulled him in for a a big ol' smooch."
Karma knew it was coming but it was still shocking. That was such a random thing to do in that situation. Then again, it was Nikolai...
"Of course Dos was very stunned by this. I had thought he would have predicted it, though..." he looked over at Fyodor.
Fyodor closed his eyes, "the chance of you actually doing it wasn't the highest percent..."
Nikolai shrugged, "but I did it. It was actually a good few seconds before Dos slapped me away. It was long enough to see Goncharov's jaw drop to the floor and Sigma almost drop his teacup! Oh, it was so worth being slapped!"
Fyodor pinched the bridge of his nose with a pained expression.
Karma smiled, "is that why you don't kiss him anymore?"
Nikolai paused, "I don't know. Maybe?"
"I mean, you still kiss him on his cheeks, so you obviously still want to kiss him," Karma stated.
Nikolai's face started to get pink, "uh- that's-"
"Karma, that's just a way of greeting someone from where we're from... it's not seen as romantic..." Fyodor said this all with a flat tone but he was avoiding looking at anyone.
"Yeah. Completely normal." Nikolai's voice was strained and he was blushing.
Karma narrowed his eyes, "okay... but I don't think he means it that way..."
Fyodor sighed through his nose as he closed his eyes again, "Karma..."
"What? I'm not wrong."
Nikolai opened and closed his mouth a few times, but apparently couldn't speak.
Fyodor shook his head slowly, "Gogol is... complicated..."
"Well, yeah, I can see that," Karma nodded, "but he-"
Nikolai forced a laugh, "yeah, I'm so complicated! Let's uh talk about how funny Sigma's face was, now!"
Karma narrowed his eyes at him, "no, I don't think so. Sigma wanted you two to talk and I feel like we were on the right subject."
Fyodor folded his hands, conceding to Karma's demands, "Gogol, is your memory always so vivid?"
Nikolai froze, "... yes." He said it like a very bad liar.
Karma shook his head, "you just really enjoyed kissing him, didn't you?"
"Uh, yeah, because of-"
"No. Not because of whatever dumb excuse you were gonna say. Because you just-"
"Why am I being lectured by a child?! You can't hold me against my will!" Nikolai felt like he was being boxed in and he didn't like it. He could feel his face was already flushed and that this conversation would go places he didn't want it to.
Karma sighed like a disappointed parent, "so you're refusing to admit you liked it, even when there is so much evidence?"
"... yes?"
Fyodor knew he had to do something. He didn't really want to. But he didn't want Karma to feel like he failed his mission. Plus, he knew Nikolai would forget about this transgression after it was over. He'd probably pretend like it never happened anyways...
Fyodor reached out and took Nikoai's hand. He flinched in response, then slowly looked over with a nervous expression and his face got even more red.
"My room, my rules."
Nikolai just stared at him, "... well, I'm, like, obligated to listen to you anyways..." He grew increasingly more embarrassed as he looked down at their hands.
Fyodor hadn't even realized how tightly he was gripping Nikolai. He guessed he was just that tired.
Karma looked back and forth between them for a minute. Then he focused back on Nikolai, "you're blushing super hard right now."
"Like I don't know!" He exclaimed.
"You can continue your story," Karma gestured for him to get talking.
"Huh?" Nikolai became confused, "what do you mean? That was it."
"No, there's more," Karma nodded once, firmly. "You didn't include any detail in that last part."
Fyodor spoke up, "there's no need to be... graphic about it..."
"Come on, you have to admit how suspicious it is! He explained in great detail the rest of it!"
Fyodor pressed his lips together tightly, "yes, but-"
"What? Are you two hiding something?"
Nikolai chuckled nervously, "not really..."
Karma glared at him.
"Ah, well, let's just say that, uh, he didn't slap me just because I kissed him..." Nikolai pressed his fingers together.
Karma's eyes widened, "what did you do?"
Fyodor cringed in disappointment, but didn't try to stop this conversation.
Nikolai knew there was no way out if even Fyodor wasn't avoiding it anymore. Subconsciously, he squeezed Fyodor's hand tighter as he spoke, "I, uh, might have been a little... harsh... I mean, it was all very abrupt, so I'm sure that- ... okay, I might have had my hands elsewhere..."
Karma blinked very dramatically.
"No! No! Not like that! Well, it was kinda like that- but that's not the point! It was just his waist!"
Karma flicked his eyes over to the other party.
Fyodor sighed, "I don't think about these things... I just felt his hands on me and I didn't like it..."
"Yeah..." Nikolai forced a very awkward smile. Fyodor's last comment probably hurt his feelings... "A-anyways, that's it for real. Story's over."
Karma debated, "hmm... so if you really have kissed already, what more could Sigma want?"
Nikolai suddenly realized he was still holding Fyodor's hand and quickly recoiled.
Fyodor rubbed his palm, Nikolai had been holding onto him pretty tightly...
"Maybe he wants you guys to kiss again?"
Nikolai shrugged, "I've kissed Dos plenty of times-"
"There's more?!"
"Uh, they aren't all that entertaining... I occasionally just... just to surprise him. You know, keep life a little less boring..." he was running his fingers through his hair again.
Karma sighed, "now I have no idea what Sigma expects..."
Fyodor yawned quietly, "I'm going to fall asleep..." he stood up, "breakfast should be done by now..."
Karma got down as well, "probably. We can ask him for an answer while we're eating, too."