Chapter 13

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Knowing the truth make you feel angry and empty inside. You tried to take your mind off things but every thought would come back to him. The man that you had loved for oh so long was not even real. You were just some crazy mental patient in a hospital. You weren't in love with someone you were sick. You were crazy some may say insane. But all you could feel was love sick and angry. You felt that a lot now that you think about it. You felt anger so much more than anything else. The anger you felt when you were with your parents. The anger you felt when you lost your first spelling bee. The anger you felt when you weren't asked by anyone to the dance. All of it was the exact same as the last, nothing was ever different or changing. It was always the same, the same cold cruel feeling. That feeling like a fire that could not be extinguished. Some days your feelings will just boil over and you wouldn't know why. You'd cry and scream and kick anything to try and get those emotions out. But in the long run it never worked. In fact it might have made things worse.

You stare at Griffin with a blank expression on your face. " so, what kind of crazy dream did you dream of this time. Was it that you were in love this time. Did you kill someone. Or maybe this time where you just normal and boring." He smiles at you, his smile was nice it was nice to look at nice to see. But in a way it was a kind of weird too. You think back to before you knew Griffin before you knew Billy. You think back to before you knew yourself. You were always scared alone and worried. You would stare at the ceiling and think all day. Or sometimes you just eat your feelings away. You thought that would help, but nothing ever did. And you don't think that nothing ever will. Not until you can feel him again. You wish to feel his heart beat against yours, and how his curly hair with tangle in your fingers. He would smile against your skin and you are so good at holding on to you. Maybe deep down he knew that if he was to let go then you'd never come back. You just be swept away." This time for my little dream. I was in love with someone this time. He was mean but also kind of nice. God if you were to see him you'd be in love too" you smile down at your food at the thought of him. You couldn't finish your food so you just gave the rest to Griffin. He happily ate it. Billy come over and sat with you guys. He yawns and picks at his food while looking at you two. When you go to get up you feel dizzy.

You stumble back a bit and look around. Everything looks distorted and disturbing. When Griffin looked at you his eyes seeped out of his sockets. And Billy smile was oddly wide, wider than anything that could have fit his face. The room starts to swirl around you, your heartbeat quickens. They walk towards you their steps slow and steady. They're slouched down arms to their sides. It's like something out of a horror movie it was terrifying and disturbing and disgusting. You couldn't help but cry a bit you cornered yourself. You put your head to your knees and held on to your hair. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you looked up.

It was Jamie

Your eyes open wide and you smiled to yourself. You look around and you're back in the hospital. But not the mental hospital the actual Hospital. Vance looks at you worried and you realize you've been crying. Your mom squeezing onto your hand while crying of it. Your dad has a look of concern on his face. There's a nurse checking your vitals and asking you questions to make sure you are okay. You just smile and say that you're fine. When the nurse leaves the room he hugs you. It was tight and warm and you loved it you loved peeling him. She smiled against her cheek he held on to you. You kiss his jawline and put your fingers through his hair. He looks worried as though something horrible that happened. " got you idiot you worried me! I thought something bad was happening my God" you just smile at him in a little chuckle comes out. You might be going a little insane you think to yourself. You actually thought that there was a world where Vance Hopper, the One Love of your life didn't exist. That would be a sad and horrible world. But you recognize that feeling of anger. Those emotions that would bubble up it's still there. Even if it was a dream maybe there is truth in it. You were never good at actually expressing your emotions you would just hide it and hide it. You would hope that it would go away one day if you just kept them away long enough. But they never would.

They stuck to you like glue. No matter how hard you would try to feel better you would feel terrible. The only thing, the only person, who could ever wipe that feeling away. Was your boyfriend it sounds so cheesy but it's so true. You couldn't let go you just wanted to keep holding on to him forever. To die like this would be to die in the hands of an Angel. Maybe a fallen angel, or Lucifer to be exact. Obviously Vance wasn't as perfect as an angel was made out to be but he's as close As It Gets. So you just sit there and smile to yourself your family is at your side. Nothing's wrong. Everything that you had thought was a lie was truth. You kept reciting that to yourself. Because deep down you were confused and you were concerned that maybe just maybe this was another dream. You couldn't tell anymore and you didn't want to tell you wanted to be with him you wanted to be alone. Not Alone by yourself but alone with him alone in a world where you could actually be happy. A world where you wouldn't have to hide in a hospital a world where your parents weren't afraid of you. This was a happy world, a scary one but it was happy. It was happy to you it was perfect. Well as perfect as it could get when a mad man was breaking out of prison. There were officers running around the building at this point one ran into your room.

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