The Soldier and The Spy: Jay Halstead - Episode 1

Chapter 4

He held her as long as he dared before reluctantly pulling away, knowing that the time to talk would come later, when it was just the two of them. Right now there was work to do, and questions to answer. So he helped Tess stand, tightening his hold on her waist when he felt her stumble; she was leaning ever so slightly to her left, and not putting as much weight on that leg, but before he could ask what was wrong she stepped away. Only so she stood at his side, the fact that she still rested against him convincing him she was more injured than she was letting on, but it was still far enough that he wanted to pull her back. But then he followed her gaze and realized why she'd done it.

Hailey was staring at them.

Guilt immediately rushed through him. The way she looked at them, the way she looked at him... it wasn't just the pain in her eyes that broke his heart, or the knowledge that he was responsible for causing it. It was the understanding. She knew that whatever they'd had, whatever they'd been building was over now. And as much as Jay still cared for her, as much as he didn't want to hurt her there wasn't anything he could say to change that. There wasn't anything he would say. Tess was the woman he loved, the woman he had always loved and he'd learned from his mistakes. He wasn't going to let her go a second time.

"Sergeant."

He finally tore his gaze away to see her giving Voight a small dip of the chin while his Sergeant looked her over, watching how she interacted with him, how she handled herself. Taking her measure. She saw it for what it was and let him, but Jay could tell she wasn't doing the same. Because she didn't need to. And the slight furrow in Voight's brow told Jay he knew it too, and wasn't sure how he felt about it. Still after a moment he grunted quietly and gave a nod back; his apprehension was clear but he could also see appreciation, an approval of skill he didn't show to many people, and had to smother a smile. The man had no idea what he was in for.

"Tess Danvers." She said as she extended a hand, his team watching the exchange quietly but carefully. "CIA, Special Activities Centre. Former."

Former.

She'd said it almost as an afterthought but the word ran over and over through his mind, echoing like the harsh clang of metal against metal.

She'd retired? And she hadn't told him?

She'd come home... and she hadn't reached out?

His chest began to tighten, painfully so, but then her fingers brushed against his and it loosened, enough for him to take a breath. He couldn't get upset. Not only because he didn't have all the facts but because he didn't have the right to. Tess had no obligation to him, not anymore. Not after he'd let her go. This whole time she'd been out there, doing her job, saving the world and looking out for him and he hadn't done anything. He hadn't even waited. His head started to pound as a headache formed but Jay forced himself to ignore it. Now wasn't the time. He quickly brushed his fingers back, taking comfort in the shiver of relief he felt run through her, then focused his attention on his Sergeant.

"Tess and I first met during my second tour." He kept his eyes on Voight as he spoke but still felt the gentle ripple of surprise that went through his team.

His time in the military wasn't something he talked about very often, or very openly; the only person they knew from that time was Mouse, who out of respect for him had kept most of their stories private. Still for the entire time he had worked with their unit Jay had been scared his friend would mention Tess, though he'd had his doubts whether it would've been accidental or intentional, but Greg never had. He knew Jay liked to keep things to himself. But looking at his team now he found himself wishing he'd shared more. Shared anything because maybe then they wouldn't be looking at her so suspiciously. But he didn't falter. There was no one in the world he trusted more than Tess and he would bet his badge and his life that it wouldn't take long until everyone here understood why. Until they felt the same.