Where Is My Epic Background Music

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Gabby was the one that opened the door. It was just as well, really, because you weren't sure if you would have stopped your arm from slamming the door in their faces.

You heard the woman's voice first. It was sprauncy and made it clear that she wasn't part of the world that most people lived in. 'Gabby, darling, how have you been? Is Jack here? I know we're a bit early, but we were nearby and thought that we should pop in! Isn't that right, Harrison?'

'It is.' The man, Harrison, spoke in a clipped voice that sounded slightly irritated, as though he had had no say about the visit.

'Um, sorry, but Jack isn't here right now,' Gabby told them, 'but you can come back later? When he is here?'

'Are you hiding something from us, dear? There's no need to sound so awkward.' All pleasantries were seemingly thrown out the window, and you suddenly became very concerned about Gabby's wellbeing—concerned to the point that you got up and stood next to her in the doorway. You knew that she was both physically and mentally robust, but there was something about the pair that made you wonder if the ever-vigourous Gabby had finally met her match. Stood there wrapped in a dressing gown, her light hazel hair wrapped into a strange knot and held back by a large, claw-like clip, the intruders almost made her seem smaller. (Keyword: almost.)

Speaking of the intruders, they were both well-dressed and easily in their fifties: the woman in a long, maroon-coloured shearling coat, and the man in a blue suit with a scarf wrapped around his neck. Despite the grey that was beginning to creep out from her roots, the woman's hair was a familiar shade of brown, and your fists clenched, nails jabbing the squidgy flesh of your palm.

Through the rage, you forced a smile. 'Jack should be back in a few days,' you said. 'Why don't you come by next weekend? I'll let him know that you stopped by.'

'And you are...?' The woman frowned snootily, her fixed, piercing look scanning your entire being.

Jack, I promise to ask you properly when you get back. 'I'm his partner.'

'His partner?' The man, Harrison, couldn't hide his disbelief even if he tried. Wide-eyed, he gaped at you as if he couldn't work out if you were really telling the truth. 'You're dating him?'

'That's right.' Now please go away.

Your plan didn't work. The woman let out a shrill gasp and practically leapt at you, arms locking around your neck like iron bars, making you unable to escape her grasp.

'Oh how wonderful!' she cooed, 'our little boy's found someone!' She suddenly backed off. 'What do you want?'

'Please, Carolyn, lower your voice,' Gabby pleaded, but the woman ignored her and repeated her question—this time filled with intense loathing.

'I don't want anything,' you replied. 'Listen, either come in, or go home. Jack isn't here.'

The man folded his arms in an attempt to look intimidating. 'Then where is he?'

You and Gabby shared a quick, somewhat frightened look. The two of you hadn't come up with an excuse to use if anyone asked where Jack was, and now that you had to think of one, it seemed to be impossible. There were so many lies that you could tell, but how many of them were credible? It wasn't like you were lying to the postman—these people were his parents, the ones who raised him and spent eighteen years in the same house as him. What would happen of you said he was away on a hike, only to be told he was afraid of heights?

Thankfully, Gabby was an angel in human form and said: 'He's gone to Australia.'

'Australia? That's on the other side of the bloody globe!' Harrison exclaimed, eyes filled with unsaid accusations. 'What the hell is he doing in Australia?'

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