amori's peace

chap.26

So when shorty came up to me telling me shit about her home girl being his girlfriend whilst he was kissing on me and shit it was all the proof I needed.. that I was correct.

TreyVon and relationships do not mix.

Rubbing my temple I got up and decided to freshen up because these thoughts were eating me alive so I needed to forget I don't know the exact method I'm going to use but I need to get over this immediately.
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In the shower I allowed myself to forget for sometime just standing under the shower head letting the warm water run all over my body affirming to myself that I am free of whatever curse this nigga put on me because I can't stop thinking about him.

When I came out the shower, I felt lighter in a way a lot of things got lifted off my shoulders because I thought about all the good things that could be happening in my life right if I just got my shit together, so on Monday when I have to go back to school I'm going to try.

I'm going to try for me, my moms and my dad, just to make it feel like I'm actually accomplishing something in my life after all these years off living under a rock.

My eighteenth birthday is coming up on the 11th of April which is in the next week and I haven't planned anything, but then after my birthday then I will have finals leading into the following month of May.

I moved over my new bed to check the time on my
phone, tapping on the blank screen the time read 9:02PM getting up off this cold ass bed I walked over to the door and made my way to the kitchen.

I usually smoke to forget things at the moment, but when I drink heavily I forget everything, my brain black outs for a week or so, my counsellor told me that it's a trauma response.

But that shit works so I don't be caring.

Aiden had went out with his friends today he told me he'll be back around midnight so hopefully I'm blacked out by then.

Opening his cabinet I'd seen different types of fancy ass alcohols but what I fucking wanted was rum cause some shots of that shit and it'll get you drunk so damn fast.

Picking up the glass bottle, I then walked around the island counter to get some shot glasses grabbing them I walked up back to my room.

Laying them down on the bed I got a little comfortable then poured out eight rum shots and put them in a straight so I can back them in one go and not back out like some pussy.

I played some summer walker in the background to fit my
mood right now then downed all of the shots one by one that fucking strong ass liquid burning my poor throat.

And then poured myself another eight slightly spilling the rum on the duvet from feeling the alcohol begin to do it's thing. I began to drink the next eight slower than the first time.

As my vision began to get blurry and Summer Walker's album was beginning to hit so hard right now, I knew I was drunk so for the next ten minutes of my life I lied down on the bed drunk out of my mind, I eventually turned the music up.

And took another eight of rum shots seems like I wanna die today..

I slowly poured them out one by one, my fingers slipping causing some of it to spill on me, groaning I gently put the rum on the bedside table, too scared that I'll break the bottle cause when I'm drunk I feel like my hands are hardly working.

The weight of everything feeling like I'm holding a feather.

Cause my dumbass obviously don't know no better and I think I will be doing something correctly but then everything done turns into a mess from me being clumsy.

Walking towards the bathroom I grabbed onto anything that'll hold my weight to keep me stable as I manoeuvred from object to object I finally reached the bathroom.

Pulling the wipes out of my duffle bag I left on the closed toilet seat from my shower and then wiped the rum of my thigh throwing it in the trash can I once again tried to maintain my balance.

I managed to get to the bed I wondered if I really and truly wanted to take the shots, but could really go wrong.
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By time I really decided to give up on drinking any more alcohol I've at least drunk thirty two rum shots wondering how I ain't dead or passed out yet, but I have to make my self tired for this shit to work.

Turning down my music so I can actually think straight, I dropped on the bed feeling something dig into my ribcage as I did so.

Removing it, I felt my phone in my hand and decided upon to scroll through my Instagram timeline until I came across the fucking nigga who I wanted to forget. I came to the conclusion to stop being a bitch and maybe just try to call him, but my damn finger just lingered over the button then I finally pressed it.

The phone rang.. and rang.. and rang until it hung up so I tried it again just incase I wasn't tripping on him being a lil petty bitch.

Ringing his phone it went to voicemail so I hung up and looked around for a pen and paper, because just incase the nigga answered I won't say shit off script.

Thirty seconds later I gave up and only found a pen, so I scribbled notes on my hand, barely fucking visible to read and rang him again..

But it once again went to voicemail as I expected. So instead I tried to read the notes as clear as I could without sounding as drunk as possible. Clearing my throat I began talking "hey Trey, it's Amori.. obviously. But I just wanted to tell you that there isn't any hard feelings".

Half way through I finally realised that I went off script of began speaking and relying off my fucking drunk thoughts..

"I guess I just want you to sort out the hoes you claimed you never had and maybe I'll get over my feelings for you when this all blows over.. I'm drunk dialling right now so hopefully I'll forget this when I wake up.. goodnight" sighing I immediately ended the call and my thoughts went wild.

So many thoughts running at once of what a fucking idiot I am because what if the nigga actually picked up would I even say to him but as the same time things like:

Why would do that to myself I fucking to get drunk to remove him from my life, also ran through my mind.

And as I said before this nigga is bouta be the death of me.

And then I finally passed out.
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- edited