The Journey of Wei Ying

Chapter 21: I belong to you

"Wang Ji...."

"I couldn't help that I was falling for you every day a little bit more. I couldn't stop it. My love grew more and more until it was unbearable. Yet, I didn't do anything. Honestly, I often dreamed about taking you away from here, somewhere no one would find us but that wouldn't have been something you wanted. Because you loved my brother. So no matter how painful it was, I didn't step between the two of you."

My heart was beating irregularly as I listened to his words. I never heard him talk so much but I liked it. His voice is so soft, so confident. My breathing was hitching as my mind was filled with all the information. He wanted me from the beginning, yet I didn't even realize it. How could I be so ignorant, so blind, so stupid?

"A few years ago things started to change. You were often unhappy and I, despite him being my brother, wanted to confront him. I didn't. My brother was happy with you, he loved you so much. He still does. I can see it clearly albeit it drives me crazy. How could he be like that after what he has done to you? I knew he wanted to have a son. It is natural for a crown prince to have that desire, even for a normal prince but... I have never expected him to lay with someone else to have a child. Betraying your love to him for someone he didn't even love just for the sake of my father, just to have an heir..... I forgot the influence my father has on him. It was the first time I felt something similar to hate towards both of them."

I listened quietly. His talking about Lan Huan felt weird as he was lawfully still my husband but it felt so good to hear that someone else was thinking like me. Wang Ji felt what I was feeling, thought as I thought. As if he was part of me. As if I was part of him. I felt his rage too. His rage towards his brother, his father. Or... was it just my rage he was mirroring?

I stroked his cheeks and he kissed my fingers. A shiver went through my body as he stared at me.

"Even before my brother has done this... disgusting deed, your feelings had changed. You didn't know. They changed just a little but enough for me to hope. You thought of me differently, you looked at me differently and you didn't notice it. But I did. That was the moment I decided to not care about anything anymore. Anything but you. I wanted to fight for you. It is a crime, I know. But for you, I would commit any crime as long as you are happy. As long as I can make you happy. The more time we spent together, the more your feelings changed. You still loved my brother, and that was okay for me, but your feelings for me were there. They were forming, all I had to do was to hope, to wait." He smiled happily.

I looked away for a moment, remembering the past. "I never understood why I reacted differently all of the sudden. I knew something had changed, something between us. I just didn't understand what. Maybe because I always only thought about Lan Huan." I confessed.

"You were but often you thought about me too, Wei Ying." Wang Ji kissed my forehead. "Your dreams proved it. You avoiding me is proof. But Wei Ying, I realized that avoiding you after those dreams only made it more painful."

I knew that feeling. The more I avoided Wang Ji the more I thought about him and dreamed about him. The more I wanted to be with him.

"I didn't know you dreamed about me. I didn't know these dreams were the same as mine. Last night it was the first time hearing that and it made me lose it." Wang Ji confessed and looked at me apologetically. "If I crossed the line then-"

"You didn't. I made the first step so I crossed the line." I told him and smiled. "But I don't regret it. I am happy, Wang Ji. Right now I am so happy that I think I could fly. The only thing that keeps me down is my guilt. I am sorry, Wang Ji. I have not noticed your feelings."

"Shhhh." He pressed his fingers against my lips. "Don't be. The reason you didn't realize it was because of your love for my brother. He was your first love. The first love is special. It made you not able to see nor notice anything else. It made you blind to my feelings. I know that because it is the same with me. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't see anything or anyone else but you. Even if I see and think about you... it is not enough. Being with you is making me happy but.., it is still not enough. I am with you and still miss you madly...."