flowery thoughts ━━ h.hj + k.sm

■ seven ■

We don't see Seungmin for the whole next week, and by the second Thursday it looks like I may have to give up on him altogether.

It itches somewhere, in the back of my brain, that the thing I hated most about our interactions was the precise reason he was coming into the shop. He had a boyfriend whom he showered in flowers, and now that they're broken up he's not coming anymore.

What poetic irony.

Chan's in the back sorting through a comically large shipment of pink azaleas from this week, he's been bringing up bouquets by the dozen every couple minutes. We need to have a word with our supplier about how much of his supply actually gets sold.

But I will admit it makes the store positively radiant. We've gotten more customers than ever on weekday mornings who are drawn to the window by the soft halo of pink that surrounds the store. It reminds me every morning what makes my job so special.

I'm helping a middle-aged couple pick flowers for their wedding, and it's so exciting to be able to decorate huge celebrations like this one.

I don't mean huge literally, it's a backyard wedding with about 15 guests but it's certainly huge in meaning. They're one of those remarkable couples where you can tell they have a brilliant love story just by looking at them.

They're lining the walkway with white roses and baby's breath, which they've apparently been laughed at for at other flower agencies. It baffles me that people hate popular things so much, I mean cliches are cliche for a reason right?

The wedding is soon, this is our last consultation with them where we confirm the date and the delivery. Their excitement is infectious, and I'm grinning almost as wide as they are by the time they're done. I've copied for them some instructions on how to press their wedding flowers, and as I'm tucking the originals back into the book I hear the door open.

Chan makes a small sound, disappearing into the back room, and I realise for the first time that he'd come up to unload more azaleas.

I barely register how weird he's being when I see Seungmin walking in.

Of course. That's why.

He looks - tired. I'm not sure if there's a nicer way to say that. Not unpolished, his tie is perfect and his jacket is pressed, no lint. I have a feeling his polished look has something to do with the now noticeable bags under his eyes, but it also occurs to me that he might usually wear some makeup that I've never noticed. Funny that that's what goes when your life falls apart.

He doesn't say anything, and neither do I, realising I have no line but "the usual?" ready when he comes in.

"Hey," is all that comes out, and it's everything I can do to seem nonchalant and not hopeful. Or worse, pitying.

"Hi," he sighs, looking around at the paper wrappings.

It's deafeningly silent for a moment, and I desperately wish for Chan to come into the room and help out.

He doesn't and the awkwardness finally breaks my resolve.

"Why ... can I ask why you're here? You know, considering ... "

He sighs, nodding to show he gets my point.

"Punchcard," he explains, taking it out of his wallet.

Right. His free one.

"Ah," is all I can respond.

The silence is awful.

"Well," I try, my voice sounding remarkably too loud, "what can I get you then?"

He laughs a little bit, and looks up at me. The eye contact is startling.

"I don't know. You've always picked."

He's right, but I don't feel comfortable here. Not direction.

"How about you pick this time."

"I don't know if I'm qualified. What if I pick one that means, I don't know, death or something?"

"Fair," I laugh, "you pick something pretty and I'll tell you what it means."

"Well, everything in the store is pretty," he winks, his smile genuine for the first time today. I'm so startled that the compliment drops on the floor between us.

His smile drops and I'm not exactly sure how to proceed.

"Those," he points, redirecting, and I follow his finger to the chrysanthemums.

I hesitate and he laughs, defeated.

"Death?"

"Well," I laugh too, his laugh is too infectious, "not really but they are used in funeral bouquets. Like, a lot."

"How about those?" he redirects, gesturing wildly at the overabundance of azaleas. They're really taking over the store.

"Perfect," I smile, stuffing two bouquets with baby's breath. It really does go with everything.

"This is stunning," he smiles, handing over his punch card.

It's full now, and will be shredded along with the rest of the free use ones. It also marks the last time I bet I'll ever see Seungmin.

He smiles, tucking the bouquet under his arm.

As he walks out the door he hesitates, making eye contact over his shoulder.

"Wait - what do the azaleas mean?"