flowery thoughts ━━ h.hj + k.sm

■ six ■

I don't want to be at work today.

I've spent months letting myself admire Seungmin because it was never personal, right? I don't know his partner's name or their job or even how he and Seungmin met. His partner was never enough of a person in my mind to make me feel guilty.

I never quite realised how selfish that was.

I don't even quite know if he likes those forget-me-nots - the first time Seungmin came in he didn't know what he wanted.

"Give me something that means true love."

He liked the Renaissance myth too.

It's reassuring to have a week before I get to see him again. Or have to see him. It gives me time for a new perspective.

Chan greets me on my way in, and while he doesn't say anything I watch him note my demeanour. I thought I'd done enough to hide it.

I go to take my spot in the back but Chan stops me, reminding me that he needs to do books.

Right, it's Friday.

"Yeah absolutely," I nod, trying to smile more convincingly, "I'm happy up here."

Either he believes me or doesn't want to challenge it.

Fridays are, unfortunately, as slow as every other weekday, and by eleven we've only had two customers. Chan comes up front to check on the waterproof lining of the floor, my first indication that he's as bored as I am.

I turn around, seeing how long it takes for him to notice I'm watching.

It takes eleven minutes. Which mens he's quite bored.

"Fuck," he mutters, flinching as he sees me, "you're right. Do you still have the sign?"

Once or twice a month, when it's really quite slow, Chan and I will close the store at noon and get lunch together. There's an incredible sandwich shop two doors over that lets us watch the store.

I grab the sign from our door, walking out after him. The sign reads "out until 12", but, at moment, says "out until 2". I wave Chan along as I go back to fix the sign, trying to find the sharpie in our front drawer.

The font and my handwriting absolutely don't match but I do my best. As I finish I hear the doorbell jingle, looking up to haze Chan for coming back.

But i's not Chan.

It's Seungmin. And he looks ... intense.

What he says next is astoundingly too loud.

"I need a bouquet that says fuck off."

I don't quite have time to be confused, so I nod, setting down the sign.

I can feel his energy radiate around the store as I gather a haphazard bouquet of snapdragons and buttercups, which is upsettingly stunning for the meaning, red and yellow like fireworks. I steal myself for a moment, filling the empty spaces with bright yellow gladiolus.

He's so close to the counter it's startling, looking over at the sign.

"Shit," he mumbles, adrenaline still strumming through the air, "were you about to close?"

I shake my head, not to deny it but to attempt to assuage his worries. I'm not sure it has any effect.

He looks up for the first time, assessing the arrangement I'm holding.

"That looks ... " he hesitates, "good."

"Too good? I can mess it up. I didn't know what flavor of fuck you we're working with."

He laughs softly, almost without realising. It feels good to make him laugh.

"Well," I offer, "the snapdragons here means deception, or anger. And these buttercups are supposed to mean childish, like selfishness or being unfaithful."

He smiles as I talk, almost evilly, and points out the gladiolus.

"These?"

I try hard to not react, shaking my head.

"These mean it needed more yellow. Gladiolus, I like the name."

Neither of these reasons sound plausible, but he seems distracted enough not to notice.

He reaches for his wallet, but I shake my head.

"Not this time. On me."

"No, I don't - "

"I'm not letting you pay. With a request like that, how can I?"

He smiles lightly, although it's not exactly happy, and nods in my general direction.

"I appreciate it," he sighs, gripping the flowers as he leaves.

I hang the sign on the door and walk out to where Chan's sitting, not fully cognizant that I'm moving.

He stares intently as I approach, stuffing the receipt in his wallet. He's already ordered for us. I wonder how long that interaction with Seungmin took.

"Was that?" he asks, with no intent to finish that sentence.

"Yes."

He waits for a moment, apparently expecting me to elaborate. I do not.

"So? Fill me in."