DATE THY ENEMY | ES:1

EPILOGUE (Part 2 of 2)

Nanghina ako dahil hindi alam ang gagawin. Vernaise has always been strong, brave, and daring. And I love all those things about her. But hearing her weak like this while crying breaks me.

Baby, what do I need to do? Please tell me.

My father is right. I am always weak when it comes to her. Jakob's right, I cannot always keep my emotions intact whenever it concerns her. I am this weak when it comes to her, but Vernaise is only my strength so I didn't care for the hell they say.

Kahit bumalik na si Vernaise sa dati niyang sigla, napapansin kong may kaba siyang nararamdaman at maaring may kinatatakutan. Her eyes tell me so.

AND THAT DAY, knowing her fears was our biggest fight so far. Hindi ko masasabing nag-away kami, pero hindi kami kailangan naging ganon.

She was scared and nervous to the point that her lips and legs were trembling when she asked me not to tell anyone about our relationship.

Is she scared about my family? Alam ko na malalaman at malalaman din ng pamilya ko ang tungkol sa relasyon namin. At handa ako doon. Sa oras na tinanong nila, sasabihin ko at hindi ko iyon itatago. But then, aside from her fears to my family, it seems like she is more scared that her grandfather will know about us.

''Can we please talk about this?''

''I'm just asking you not to tell them, Javier! Is that too hard to understand?!''

Nagulat ako dahil hindi kailanman tumaas ang boses niya nang ganito. At tila kahit siya ay nagulat din doon.

Agad na bumagsak ang kanyang mga balikat at sinubukang hinaan ang boses. ''I'm sorry... I'm just exhausted.''

''Baby, tell me what is upsetting you. I want to understand, please.'' I said, almost begging.

Seeing her expression right now, somehow scares me. It's like she's hiding something from me. I want to understand where this is all coming from. I feel like it is about our family, but she need not worry about it. I'll do everything. Gagawin ko ang lahat para walang masabi ang iba. Gagawin ko ang mga dapat na gawin. All I want is for her to be at my side, at peace, without any worries, dahil ako na ang bahala sa ibang bagay.

''Just not yet, please...''

Mariin akong napapikit. She wants me to deny her! She wants me to hide our relationship! She wants me not to talk about it to anyone! I fucking don't want that! Pero pakiramdam ko, kung ipagpipilitan ko ang gusto ko, lalayo siya sa'kin.

''Alright, if that's what you wanted, then let's do that.'' mariin kong sabi.

''We won't tell anyone. If you want me to pretend I didn't know you in front of other people, then so be it! Deny me, deny my name! I don't care anymore. As long as you are mine when no one is looking, I'd be content.'' malamyos ang aking tinig, nanghihina at nagsusumamo. ''As long as you welcome me with a smile whenever I go home to you, kahit tayo lang ang nakakaalam, hindi na ako hihingi ng mas higit pa, Vernaise.''

''If you want to hide our relationship then we will. Just don't be scared like this. Don't tremble. Don't look at me like you want to run away. Gagawin ko lahat ng gusto mo, manatili ka lang sa tabi ko, hmm? This is so hard for me... but I don't want to see you like this. Would that appease you now?''

Hirap na hirap rin ako, pero kahit noon pa man ay kaya kong tanggapin kung ano lamang ang kaya niyang ibigay sa'kin. Hindi na ako hihingi ng higit pa, basta akin siya, magkasama kami, mahal niya ako.

''Baby, I am so in love with you that I'm willing to compromise like this...'' I whispered weakly. ''I love you. I'd rather hide us than lose you.''

Hinigit ko siya sa'kin dibdib nang magsimula siyang umiyak. It was the same cry I heard last time. And until now, hearing her cry still breaks me.