Finding Him

C H A P T E R - N I N E T E E N

Now, I understand love. I've felt it, experienced it.

Now, I know what I deserve.

"You okay?"

"Hm?" My head snaps to the voice beside me. Ellie sits there, staring at me, trying to read me. "Yeah, all good." I send her a smile, a true smile.

I am good. Things are finally good.

"You were staring so deeply at that book, I thought you were trying to light it on fire with your mind or something." I quirk a brow at her foolishness. "Hey, listen, I'm not judging." She puts her hands up in defense. I let my book close.

I let a chuckle tumble from my lips.

"I was not. I am well aware that I do not have super powers." I continue her joke just to see the smile that forms to her lips.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far. You are my superhero."

The compliment pulls at the strings of my heart, playing it like a well versed melody.

My eyes soften and I'm reminded again just how lucky I am. Sometimes I sit and wonder how lucky I got that Ellie survived that night, that she found me. That she came home to me.

"Helllloooo?" I snap back to reality, watching Ellie's hand wave in front of my face. "There you are."

"Here I am."

Ellie curls her head to my chest and I fold, my heart flipping. My arm cups around her face to hold her head close to my heart. She relaxes.

I relish every moment like this because I know I won't have it for long. Soon she'll grow out of wanting me to coddle her. I steal every moment I have to cradle her like a baby because I never got the chance to hold her so young.

"I love you." Ellie says just loud enough for it to reach my ears.

"And I love you." So, so much.

More than you'll ever know, Ellie.

• • •

"Valerius. How are you today?"

"I'm alright, what about you?"

Allegra's eyes stick to mine. Just like they do everyday. Everyday I walk in the flower shop, our routine stays the same. A comfortable pattern I've grown to find a liking to.

Every so often, Allegra and I meet outside the floral shop. Spending our time together, enjoyably. 

"Great now that you're here." She states and a sense of pride hits my chest. "Any requests?" She asks regarding the flowers.

"At your leisure."

A smile perks the perfect pink of her lips.

Her hands brush the petals of the flowers laid in buckets on the wall. She searches for the perfect ones to pick for me.

Finally, she stops at the red roses. She plucks two perfect flowers. Each a bright shade of red with their petals in tact. Allegra let's the paper wrap the flowers snuggly. I wish for our hands to touch when she passes them along to me. They don't. I'm left dissatisfied. Her eyes find mine.

"These were just picked today. They're—"

"Beautiful." I finish for her. Though, I'm not talking about the roses.