Finding Him

C H A P T E R - S I X T E E N

"I just don't know if I'm ready."

"Only do what you're okay with. You can wait some time or decide to not go at all, But you will let me know if anything goes wrong."

"Sì, papà."

"Buona." Good.

"Papà?" I hum, turning down to find her eyes. "Promise me you'll talk to Allegra." I go to stop her but she's beat me to it. "She makes you happy, papà. Be happy or selfish or whatever you have to be, okay?" Her little angel eyes can persuade me to do anything. I swear.

As much as I'd like to say no, I don't think I could ever utter those word to my girl. So, I give in.

"Okay." I sigh and a soft smile makes its way to her lips. "Anything for you, piccolina."

• • •

As soon as Allegra catches my eyes, I watch her turn away, leaving to the back of the store. "Wait— Allegra!" I step forward but she's gone now. My head shakes.

My eyes follow around the store, seeing it's empty, I decide to hop the counter. Maybe not the most sane decision but one I didn't think twice before doing. Makes me feel like I'm a teenager again.

I find her in her office. It's covered with frames of preserved flowers and stacks of papers lining the room. She rolls her eyes when she sees me and her mouth pops open when I shut the door. Allegra goes to push past me but I hold her back, pressing her to the wall.

"Allegra, listen—"

"Look, Valerius— I'm sorry." She whispers, her head dropping down.

"Don't be." I say, picking her head up to look at me. "I.. You didn't do anything wrong. I was just scared. Okay?" I say it aloud. I don't want to admit my fear but I have to. "I shouldn't have ignored you this past week. I was just afraid you'd be mad at me."

"Mad at you!? If anything you should be mad at me, Val. I.. I'm sorry."

"Stop."

My thumb rests below her chin, my eyes bore into hers like the birds to the north.

It's true, my past few outings with Allegra have been great. My feelings have only become more confusing, the only one I'm able to understand is the want to see her again. Ellie tells me I like Allegra, maybe I do. My brother told me once a long time ago that we all find love, some just take longer to realize it. I'm not saying I love Allegra but I do know that she makes me feel something. Something good, something new.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Her voice is melancholy, a sound that feels like a soft blanket.

I let my heart lead the words out of my mouth, not giving a moment to the sensible part of my brain. "Because I want you to kiss me again." I unveil. I watch her face relax, hear her breath letting go.

It's true, last time Allegra and I were together, she kissed me. I'd never had a woman initiate an intimate moment without me expecting it before. I was shocked. I had barely got the chance to react when she said she was sorry and got in her car.

I was scared she regretted it.

I didn't want her to regret it because I wanted her to do it again.