Finding Him

F I V E

I sit down in a chair that she pulls close to her desk.

"Want to grab your lunch?"

I don't look at her. "I don't have one of those either." I smile to try and joke but instead she looks upset.

Suddenly her sad expression morphs. "Well, it's a good thing I packed extra today." She winks. "Do you like sandwiches?"

Slowly, my face breaks out into a smile. "Yes."

"Perfect then. I'll remember to pack two tomorrow."

Maybe this school won't be as bad as the others.

• • •

"Miss Ellie!" Nicole, my foster mom shouts for me. I ignore her calls and keep scribbling on my homework. My new folder makes it much easier to write on.

I get so lost in my work that I don't even hear Nicole's footsteps until she's busting open my door. My pencil flys out of my hands and I jump.

"Ellie." She chides. "I've been calling you." Her look of disapproval dampens my mood.

I don't reply.

"You're coming with me to the store."

I blatantly roll my eyes.

"No."

Frustration builds up at Nicole's core. I can see it.

"That wasn't a question, get your shoes on."

I grumble under my breath and walk behind her to get my shoes on.

At the store, Nicole is lost in the isles.

I use it as an opportunity to get away. I skip over to a different isle. I lose myself within the shelves until I find a makeup isle. I slow my tracks, gazing at each product. My fingers linger over some blush.

A soft pink color. It's pretty.

My fingers find a soft glitter compact. Highlighter, it says. Hm.

My eyes check to my left, then my right.

No one is in the isle with me. What if.. I just took it?

Who could stop me?

I want it. I want to use it.

I bite my lip and quickly pick up both of the compacts. I slip them under my shirt and into my training bra.

Satisfied, I walk the isle again.

I find all kinds of things. I don't even know what they all do but I know that I want to try it all. I've seen all the older girls wear this stuff.

Out of room under my shirt, I panic and try to shove two products up my sleeve.

"Hey! There!" I visibly jump. My heart pounds.

Oh no, oh no.

I try to run but the lady grabs my arm. Tears well io in my eyes as my body jerks back to her. Her grip is so tight, my wrists turn red.

The two products drop to the floor with a clank.

The woman looks mad. "Kids these days." She spits. "So rotten. Where is your mother."

When I don't reply, she drags me to the front of the store by my arm. It hurts but I stay quiet. Once my description is called over the loud speaker, Nicole shows up at the front.

"She was caught stealing." The worker tells Nicole.

"Oh, God. I am so sorry!" Nicole says quickly. "She's been a real troublemaker recently." My arms cross defensively over my chest.

"Yeah well she ain't allowed here no more." Not like I wanted to come back anyways. "Take your daughter an' go."

"Oh, well she isn't my daughter." For some reason the words sting slightly. "But she won't ever be coming back here, trust me."

• • •

"Go to your room, young lady."

I stomp my way up the stairs. Gladly.

I find my way to a desk in this room. I look at the girl in the mirror. She's ugly. So ugly.

I don't recognize her at all. I'm not even sure it's me at all. Maybe someone has taken over my body. Someone evil. Someone mean.

I bite my dry lips as a pull the stolen products out of my training bra.

They didn't take everything off of me.

A part of my feels guilty but the other part doesn't care at all.

I dip my pointer finger into some blush and wipe a streak on my face. I stare at it, blinking. Then, I furiously wipe it into my skin. I layer glitter on and even coat my eyelashes in mascara. I pucker my lips for chapstick and then rub some of the black stuff off of my eyelids.

I hope to become a new person.

I hope this makeup will be my new disguise. So I won't have to be this ugly anymore. I get told that Im not as pretty as the other girls in class. But this will show them that I can be.

I can be pretty too.

• • •