The Duchesses

Chapter 62 : I Love You Too Early, You Love Me Too Late

Natalie's POV

A mumble is being heard at a distance from Medea's balcony. I walk there, lowering my body to hide. It seems like two people are talking to each other. It is Medea and Hector. They are both facing, leaning slightly against the handrails. I don't even have the faintest idea what I am doing here after meeting with Anastasia, but my body just has its own mind.

I smile and look down at the red roses I bought from Ana earlier.

I let out my smile, wanting to surprise both of them. But, more like annoy them like usual. But, something stops everything within me.

"Love isn't for me. It is for someone else. So it will be my weakness on that. I can't afford to have a weakness in the moment and the future," my heart drops as soon as I hear the words from her mouth, shattering ultimately my wish to tell her happy about me being the real Natalie.

What in the world was I thinking?

I couldn't move my feet as the numbness took over me. I understand why she doesn't like it. How could I forget when she said love is the awful feeling that makes someone vulnerable the most? In this war, indeed, she can't have it. Perhaps, I was too caught up with it again.

Yes, I respect her opinion on that, as I was just like her; feelings are complicated and confusing. I hated to feel it when my mother cheated on my father multiple times when I was Aurora. The emotions drive me insane, and I shut them down and become the cold one. It deconstructed my belief system at that time.

This evening, everything happened at a fast pace. Medea is now going to engage with Ares. And then, I find out that I am Aurora and Natalie simultaneously. How the fate so cruel to me? The love of my life turns back the time to resurrect me, so we can be happy together. However, she doesn't even remember about me. Moreover, she doesn't even love me.

But why? Why are my feelings still there for her, even in my third life?

Why can't I forget about her or even find a delete button to erase my feelings for her? Now, here I am again. Watching her in the arms of another man and about to be someone else's, while she has no idea what she has done to me.

"It's been a while. Shall I console you, my Lady?" Hector's voice pierces through my eardrums, water pooling in my eyes.

"N--"

I start to move again but knock out one of the vases.

The two figures, swift in action, caught up in me in a split second, flipping my body to apprehend me, the intruder. I manage to let out a small whimper on that, barely reacting anything. My hand still holding on to the red roses, not knowing what to do with them. Its thorn pricks me as the blood oozing out from my thumb.

"Natalie?" Medea asks while Hector lets go of me.

"I was about to surprise you. But, instead, I was the one who was surprised like this," I force myself to pull the corner of my mouth upward, not letting the waterfall happen in my eyes.

I can't look her in the eyes, as well as Hector. So, I quickly bounce back.

"What are you doing here?" the two pairs of purple eyes burn into me as I am going to melt in my own despair.

"I forgot about it already when I knocked down the vases. So don't worry, I'll pay it with another one soon," I said without taking a break on each sentence, looking at the vases instead of them.

"You don't need to," Medea or Hector said, but I couldn't listen to any of their voice. Especially after that particular sentence.

If I come, later on, I will definitely meet them in a compromise position again, the same as my parents' funeral day. But, if that happens, I don't know how I will survive tonight.

The purple eyes hold their sight on me, but the more I am here with them, the more the air squeezes out from my lungs, and the more I feel my legs giving up to support my upper body.

With every fibre in my body, I repeated another word, "It seems you both occupied just now. Carry on. I'll find my way back."

Before they could even respond, I opened the door, feeling I needed air from the outside. I will probably be walking alone tonight. The sounds of steps coming out from the stairs, but I couldn't care less. All I can listen to is the sounds of my heart breaking slowly, piece by piece.

I walk quickly, wanting to run away. But instead, I walk mindlessly as my hand ignite a spark of fire to burn the red roses slowly. The ashes blow away, and I look down to see them until I bump into a sturdy figure.

"My Lady?" Apollo's voice rang in my head.

I look up to see worriedness fill in his eyes. But, at the very least, Apollo is still loyal and cares for me in this life.

"I have been looking for you everywhere," he tells me, but soon his worried expression intensifies as he realises something weird is going on about me.

Before he could even ask, another hand grabbed me, pulling me to face them. Ha, it is Medea. What does she want this time?

"Why are you leaving so suddenly?" her velvety voice echoes in my head.

I couldn't utter words but let my hand softly stroke Medea's cheek. It reminds me of a cloud with her soft skin. Along with her beauty mark that I love, along with her pointy nose and her kissable lips. Then to her long shades of purple hairs with amethyst eyes to match.

I tried to hold and swallow the tears away to see the love of my life look at me in confusion. But what can I do at the moment? Tell her I have loved her with all my heart from childhood until now. Tell her everything, including she turns the time to get me back while she has no feelings for me anymore. What could change? Nothing.

My conscience fights me back, but it's too late. I landed a kiss on her forehead but didn't have the heart to hug her. I am afraid of breaking down right there, in front of her. I will lose control and probably do something dangerous, especially with my magic. I will regret it, regret everything. I look into the deep purple eyes I love, finding comfort in them, but all I get is the plain-looking one looking back at me.

Oh Lord, how it hurts. How it reminds me of the past about this pain. Even if Anastasia could rewind the time, I am willing to go to that shitty trial twice and get shot from saving Isis. My body betrays me as my tears drop on my left cheek first, followed by the right one. The amethyst eyes look at me with concern, but how I wish she looks at me with love.

"We will talk later. I can't talk right now," I try my best to stabilise my voice, but I can feel myself shaking.

I let her go, motioning my hand to teleport with Apollo immediately.

"Wait," that's the last thing I heard before returning to my manor again with Apollo.

The man looks at me with pity but doesn't mention anything about anything happening. And I am thankful for that.

"Good work. See you tomorrow, Apollo," I said without looking at him, walking to my room with a broken heart.

With dread and heavy steps, I finally reach my room, taking off my clothes and opening the tap to let myself inside the tub. A cool bath is excellent to numb the pain. However, everything rushes into me that I can't keep bottling up my feelings again.

After finishing my bath, I take the black robe, slumping my body in the bed, crying to myself till sleep as I beat myself to think about something.

Our story hasn't even begun yet, so why does it feel like the ending?