The Place with No Return

Chapter 4 / Daydream

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALICE. ALICE!? I felt a bleak blade of pain rush through my body. The pain I had when my mother died was just a hole embroidered in my body. Pain. It felt like I was full of bliss and suddenly washed out by a tide of bleak hurt. But something hurt more. The children. What had pained me the most about being in the asylum is the children. There were children here. They all lined up looking at me with a painful look that said I need help, please help me Alice in an echoing, childlike voice. All the pain that went through them was simply like they just walked passed someone; they didn't even noticed.
The owner of the asylum. Was the masterminded of the murder.
"PLEASE STOP PLEASE." I pleaded with guilt and sadness, but someone was holding me back.
"MOTHER!"
"LET ME GO PLEASE. Please..." I cried out so that the whole world could hear me.

April 3rd 1881,
"Let me go. Please." I cried as my eyes were now black like how the hole felt in my body.
"Alice, are you okay!" Julie shrieked.
"Huh." My trembling hands held my stomach, I had expected a hole there but. Nothing.
"W-what's wrong!" Julie's voice trembled.
"N-nothing just a bad dream." I exhaled.
"Oh was it about your mum.?" She worried.
"Yeah I guess you could say that." I murmured.
"Sorry if I woke you up. Did I stay over here for the night?" I questioned.
"Yeah you did!" She replied.
"Oh and-"
"Breakfast is ready." There was a long silence after this reply from the worker.
"Blah blah blah! Do they have to say that every goddamn time?" She said as the worker left faceless.
"If I do end up killing anyone else it'll be them to."
"Oh yeah? Well when you do kill them what moves will you use?" I said slightly laughing.
"Well...Let's just get in the queue!" She shouted embarrassed.
"Sure thing." I replied.

"So when we do get out." I said whispering slightly scared someone may find out. "What will we do?"
"Well...we will... go to Paris!" She confidently replied. "I've always wanted to go there! I mean living there would just be a dream right!?" She said walking over to the cafeteria.
"Yeah Paris! I can get behind that." I said curious of what the place is really like. "I mean the place is just gorgeous!"
"Yeah I mean it would beat here right?" She replied pulling out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from her trouser pockets.
Her thumb pressed down on the button that created a crimson, firework-like explosion that burnt the cigarette into ashes. She put it between her index and middle finger and blew away. The smoke that came out created an eery yet happy atmosphere; because she was happy while blowing on it which made me curious. I know that my dad smokes ( he started when my mother passed) and to be honest that was what's keeping me away from it. But is it really like a pain killing drug; when you have it your pain is washed out.
"C-could I? My voice slightly croaking.
"Yeah sure?" She said handing me one;her face looked confused.
I took the cigarette and lit it but before I tried it I noticed her peculiar almost hair raising face.
"What's up?" I questioned.
"Nothing just never new you were a smoking kind of girl I guess!" She said exhaling through her second cigarette.
"Well it's actually my first so I guess your not wrong." I said finally having a blow on it.
The smoke that spread itself around my mouth felt almost sad but refreshing. I closed my eyes like it was almost atmospheric. But even if I did become obsessed with something I knew that I could never become someone like my Father.
"Jeez!" I shouted starting to cough.
"Ha guess you don't like it." She replied laughing.
"It's...it's not bad." I said.
"Well I never excepted a good girl like you to ever wanna try it." She exhaled through her second cigarette once more.
I chuckled almost blushing.
The people in the cafeteria were chilly; as frozen as the tips of your fingers becoming numb on a winters day. Even the children.
All of there skin was as blank and as eery as paper. There lips were as dry as the sandy material on the floor of a pool. But what hurt the most was the abandonment of there families.
"There families why aren't they here to see them. They have people who love them right!?" I said starting to become worried.
"I don't know Alice." Julie replied down heartedly. "Maybe they do or maybe they don't-"
"But when we leave." I interrupted her. "We will give them a place to stay with a nice family. Right?"
Julie sighed. After this, we sat and ate our food in silence; for a while.
"Well maybe they have to stay...back."
"No! I'd honestly rather them leave then me I-" I was so caught up in how the drained, bleak children felt i didn't think how I would be. I don't even think I'd care at this point.
"S-she. SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE I HAD LEFT YOU..." A man shouted at Caroline (the mastermind of the asylum).
"YOU PSYCHO WITCH YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER. I-I LOST HER..."
"You haven't a clue what losing someone feels like." She calmly replied.
"Now why did you cause such a fuss. Such a loud, nasty fuss."
He looked at her with almost realisation that he knew what would happen.
"Just." He said like he was on the verge of tears. "Just do it." His eyes were hollow and his skin was rusted. That look of realisation in his eyes made him look even more like he had died.
She took him away, not one person startled, like they were used to it. Something or somewhere in her eyes, murder was deep within. I could feel it when I looked at her. Or when she looked at me. I did not want to here his screams in the night like my Fathers downtown where my mother died.
"We need to find out what's happening." She said seriously.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"What do you mean what do you mean?" She replied confused. "I mean we need to find out what there doing to people so that we can get down to the bottom of this! And go see our parents so that we can we'll confront them about all of this."
"Okay. But I really wanna do. Is go see what the other rooms in here are like. Proof that they really are doing horrible things." I said wanting to know all about the place so that we really knew what was going on.
"Alright then." She sounded calm but intrigued. "But before that. Let me show you my favourite room here." She grabbed my hand as she dragged me towards the upstairs room at the end of the corridor.
It was a library. A very beautiful library. The books colours were all dark like a bleak crimson or a dark beige colour. The shelf's were dusty;the dust slowly spread around the room, it looked like no one had cleaned it since 1805. And in the left corner of the library silently sat a dusty record player. The shelf above it had records that weren't actually bleak, or dark. It was the only sign of colour in the room.
"You looking at the record player. Your not aloud to play. It's only the staff. I tired once but I got chucked in the hole."She laughed about it but 'the hole' sounded horrible.
I sighed looking down at the floor. It was like the only things we were aloud was the dark, dusted things but the only sign of colour is for the people who don't even deserve it. I exhaled walking over to the books.
I picked up a dull, darkish brown book that said how to be a lady. We read it for awhile. The words were deep and bleak and it sounded as if the author of the book would probably hate me and Julie. Because we were not ladies that they would expect us to be. The book talked about how to crusty or how to drink tea or how to politely wave or how to dress in an elegant manner. It was all messing with my head so much I guess I just wasn't thinking. Or maybe it was because no one was there so I had less chance of getting caught, but I don't think I even cared at this point. As Julie was reading it I walked of inelegantly; the people in the books wouldn't like I what I was doing.
"Hey Alice what are you-" Julie seemed shocked by what I was doing.
I scrolled through the records finding one that was a type of music that wasn't in the fit of the asylum, something that was more me.
"Hey!" I shouted excitedly, "Clementine by Percy Montrose."
I got out the disc and carefully placed it on the record player, almost as carefully as I played something down at home when my father begged for peace and quiet.
The song began to play. The rhythm made me the happiest I had even been since coming here. I couldn't help it. I turned the volume up so that it echoed across the world.
"Alice!" Julie said whispering telling me to not. Then sighing softly, "do what you wanna do I guess."
I had locked the door when I heard agonising, mood killing footsteps. A group of workers banged on the door, there fists were as angry as a lion trying to catch its prey but not being able to, I was the prey.
"Alice open the door!" A man banged on the door sounding like an animal growling.
But for the first time in my life, the first time in so long, when I got told to not do something I just carried on letting it happen.
Even if I knew I was the prey that they were going to capture soon I just couldn't help but listen to the soothing lyrics that brought the room into brighter colours. In fact I was so happy, that I turned the volume up more and put my feet up on the table which, the book about how to be a lady told me to never do. They all stared at me in disgust. Except Julie. I think she was happy for me. She looked up and down at me. Not in a spiteful or a way full of disgust she just smiled. But the happiness that we felt would all come to an end.
"OPEN UP THE DOOR BITCH!" He shouted almost funnily but sent shivers down my spine.
"Hey shut it!" Julie shouted.
"He punched a whole through the window of the door undoing the lock looking at me with pure hatred. My eyes lowered knowing what was going to happen. I was so happy I forgot about the consequences of it.
He came in throwing the record player across the room like he was coming to hurt it instead of me;but I was so wrong. He slapped me across the face, the burn of the sweat on his hands pained my cheek as he grabbed me and pulled me away and chucking me into my room.
"W-what?" I said to the man confused as he threw me on a chair, "t-that's all I get? Thanks."
"Oh you think your so dam smart and funny don't you!" He started to shout in a crescendo of noise wrapping a rope around the chair I was sitting on. "A-and the best part is!" He began to laugh in a psychotic manner, his head shaking. "You don't even know what your getting yourself into!!" When you came in here I saw you happy to come here, not thinking to much of it! But just you wait. JUST YOU WAIT!" He said as I started to cry. He slammed the door shut and headed towards the library.
Why would I do that. The rope that he had wrapped around me was so tight that it felt like a snake was slithering around me trying to bight me for what I had done. I didn't know if I was going to be abandoned like my father abandoned me. I didn't know if I was going to die like my mother did. But I had to know what would happen or if he would find out.
I could hear what sounded like faint whispers (but I knew it wasn't whispers) of Julie and the workers.
"Tell me girl!" Caroline shouted with a slight crack in her voice. "What were you talking about with her! Escaping!?"
"You really think I'd tell you bitch?" She said moaning in pain as someone kicks her to the floor.
"So you were going to escape?" Caroline said calmly, like even if she was so angry and upset she wouldn't show any sign of emotion.
"That's all I needed to know." She said as I heard her moans of agony.
I heard her footsteps down the hallway.
"William I don't think we have enough proof of it. Yet."
"Okay m'am." The worker who put me here (William) replied.
He opened my door slamming it against the wall.
"I know that Caroline doesn't think you have a plan. But I know you do." He said to me sounding somewhat calm for once.
"I KNOW IT." He ripped the rope that slithered around me of and pounced onto me. I tried to put all of the pain I had all of it into kicking him of me, but nothing.
"Do you know what your in for?" He said aggressively tucking my hair behind my ear. I was so scared. Every hair on my arm raised, I felt chills going up and down my spine. I moaned and dug my nails into my hand. Please. I pleaded for my life over and over but he didn't seem to care of course. My body felt as damaged as a soldier in war. Is wailed and wailed for my life knowing I could never escape.
"GET OF HER MOTHER FUCKER!" Julie shouted kicking him of me. Every single bone of mine was shaking, the pain washed in from head to toe. I felt hair raising chills even when Julie was here. He got up and slammed the door locking it tight. Like nothing had ever happened. Emotionless.
"Alice." Julie said calmly but stressed, "Alice I'm so sorry are you okay!?"
"H-he tried to-" I said starting to tear up.
"Oh Alice." She said hugging me.
I put my shaking arms around her.
In the past I may have thought my families house was my home. Or maybe being out in town was my home. But nothing had felt more at home then this.