Monsters

Chapter Thirteen

Looking at the sky now; the dark clouds, the hint of heavy dampness in the air, and the wind suddenly starting to pick up, I knew it was going to rain sooner rather than later. I had to get inside hastily. There was the sound of an approaching vehicle in the distance. My eyes grew wide as I started to make a break for the nearest building.

My legs were burning as I ran full speed towards a department store. I shoved the glass doors open. They slammed against the walls and my head snapped around looking for any occupants as the doors shut closed behind me. I heard a growling coming from the back of the store and readied my pocket knife. The monster came from around the corner though it looked bigger than most and it reeked of an awful, pungent stench. It didn't look like one I could take down easily alone. 

Turning around I rushed towards the front of the store and jumped over and behind a counter. The monster ran into the counter and tried to reach out to me. It growled out, parts of its skin slowly peeling off leading me to hold back a gag that bubbled up in the back of my throat. I swallowed back this disgust hard before bringing my knife up over my head. My eyes watered from the stench as I slammed my hands down hard, bringing the knife down into its skull.

Blood burst from it, some of it getting on me as I backed up from the monster. Somehow it was still moving while I gripped my knife by my side as it dripped the monster's blood onto the floor below. I brought it back up as flashes came to my mind and my anger grew. Thoughts of my family, my brother, the world, and Luz all came to me at once. Tears began to fall from my eyes as I brought the knife down upon the monster multiple times. 

The hot, angry tears fell as my chest grew less heavy the more I let my emotions out, taking them upon the monster before me. After one last strike, I brought the knife back, dropping it to my side as I backed up. My back hit the wall behind me as I slid to the floor and I let my tears escape me further. Everything coming and leaving me all at once. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them as I watched the monster lay over the counter lifeless. Blood on my hands, on my knife I'd let fall to the floor, on almost every surface of the area surrounding me; and I watched it all, crying until there were no tears left to cry.

And I stayed there feeling empty and numb. I stayed there as I heard the rain start to hit the glass window behind me. Even as the rain grew heavier and I heard vehicles rushing past behind me. That's when I realized that I had been bleeding from my shoulder. The wound stitches that Luz had painfully put in as I had bit down hard on her spare shirt had come loose somehow. She had only done it with a needle and thin sewing thread. So, even after a week of careful travel it still hadn't been any better. A wound like this needed real medical treatment so all we could do was keep it clean and hope for the best.

There was no 'we' anymore though. Luz made sure of that. But I didn't need anyone, not anymore. All I had was myself and that was enough. It had to be.

"Amity," I sighed, turning my head to see Edric staring at me with concern.

"You're back? In my head again?" I asked and he smiled at me softly.

"It looks like you needed me, but you don't anymore do you?" He question me and I felt a smile slip passed my lips despite myself.

"No, not the fictional version of you that gets stuck in my head at least." I was quiet for a moment as I let my head fall back and I closed my eyes. "I always thought I needed you here with me in some form, but I think I've grown enough to do things independently." I sighed, letting out a long breath. "I needed Luz though, or I thought I did, but she didn't need me. She said so herself." I opened my eyes to see Edric giving me sad eyes.

"Maybe she didn't mean it. Maybe she was just scared." Even though he said it, I knew he was only a projection of my subconscious. What he was saying was what I wanted to believe was true. And maybe it was, but that doesn't change anything does it? Luz isn't here and I have to learn to be on my own.

I can't keep depending on people to be there. I have to learn to be there for myself. "I love you Edric, but I think it's time I do this myself." I watched his face give me a soft smile and I tried to hold back tears. If I was going to be strong for myself I had to start now.

"Okay. I love you, baby sister." I closed my eyes at this. Trying to pull myself together.

"Goodbye, Edric." I let a single tear fall before my eyes opened and I saw Edric was gone. And finally, I was by myself for real this time.

With newfound determination, I picked myself up and searched the front counter for a first aid kit. Taking whatever I could find, I patched myself up before wiping the tears from my eyes. I walked back to where my pocket knife had fallen and picked it up before wiping the blood off onto my pants. I was going to continue on my journey with or without Luz and find my family as I had meant to this whole time. No more distractions. As soon as the rain let up, I would continue my journey, on my own this time.