『What do I do? what do I do?』
『I don't believe it if I don't keep proof』
『I don't believe if I don't know you』
➥In which a forbidden romance becomes a tragic love story.
〖!au of sorts!〗
〖gojo x fem!reader〗
〖!doesn't follow manga or anime!〗
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he stared at her, his own heart was beating fast, yet he couldn't get over the fact that their time would be shortened to almost nonexistent.
she was beautiful, godly. she was amazingly breathtaking-- he didn't know how long he could go on about describing her beauty. really, he could perhaps go in forever and never get tired.
so it hurt him to know he wouldn't be able to grow old with her. not in the way he always wanted to, anyways.
"why are you crying, satoru?" he touched his face and felt the tears.
he laughed, "I just have sand in my eyes."
she deadpanned, "you're wearing glasses." but, nonetheless, she cupped his face and smiled at him. "I will and can wait for you to speak, okay?"
he nodded and placed his own hands on hers. the warmth that came from her hands in the chilly weather certainly left a feeling of wistfulness there. this would probably be the only time he'd ever feel her hands on his face in such a loving and tender way.
so how could he not speak to her about what was going on within him. that internal conflict was going after his external one.
"...I don't want to lose you yet. I had so many things planned with you.... and to lose it all within a matter of seconds does hurt."
she leaned her head to the side and smiled warmly at him, she had a feeling it was this.
"I know. but, I won't go against fate. if it is my destiny to have my story end earlier than yours, then so be it. but I want you to know that even if I pass, I will always watch over you and the kids..."
he felt conflicted, how could she not fight it? how could she simply live so peacefully in this moment-- in the fact that death loomed over her.
"don't you feel any... sadness? don't you feel anything towards the fact that your life is going to end so soon?"
she lightly laughed, "no I-"
"how can you say that? how can you laugh about th-"
"satoru." her voice was stern and unfaltering. "I do feel that way, somewhere buried beneath my heart. but it is covered by all the joy, love, happiness, and reassurance by you and the kids. I won't regret dying, not if I'm spend my fading time with you... I do love you, you know. and I don't feel scared or saddened by the fact that I'm going to die, because I know, feel, that everything will be okay. I know you'll be okay as the years go by, I know everything will be fine."
she leaned his head forward and placed a kiss on his forehead. this was something she's done before, although rare. but this one felt bittersweet than before. this one said all the words she couldn't get out without breaking down.
and satoru knew this, he knew very well that she was afraid, that she was scared of what was to come.
"I lo-"
"not yet, I still have something to give you when we go back home."
"and what is that?"
she shook her head and just played with his hair, "just wait, my dear satoru."
and he did, which was why a few hours later they now sat outside enjoying the night sky.
she held a box, quite big. though, she wore a comforting smile as she turned to face satoru.
"so... I made this when we were away from each other a while ago.... after the disagreement and all. I had a lot of time to spend so I made these for you and the kids." she opened the box and there laid much things that would be memorabilia.
satoru picked up a black blindfold, he looked at quite curiously. she smiled and spoke, "it's a blindfold. I made this so you can use once you begin working as a sorcerer. I also think it'll be more effective than the glasses during fights with curses or enemies in general."
he examined it, as he did so he felt a smalll embroidered letters in the back.
"what this?" he turned it around and saw the initials, which were his and hers together.
"our initials... is that cheesy?" her face began to feel warm, "I just thought it'd be nice to remember that we were together at some point in your life, you know?" she started rambling on about how many times she pricked her fingers while stitching the blindfold.
he laughed, "thank you. I like it, a lot."
"huh? you like it?" she looked a bit skeptical, but nodded. "I'm glad. I put a lot of work into it to make it memorable." she cleared her throat, "I have this necklace for tsumiki. it isn't much, but I made it with extra chains I had from previous one you've bought me. I also put together two different designed necklaces to make it." she smiled softly while looking at it.
satoru took it from her hands and examined it. it was beautiful, the quality was nice and amazing-- which of course meant tsumiki would adore it.
"oh! I also have this for her too!" she pulled out a neatly folded kimono. "this kimono i made. every stitch and fabric made by yours truly."
"a kimono?" he was a bit confused.
"yes! one day when you left them here with me she wanted to try one on. so I let her. I had plenty of them left over, especially ones I outgrew, so I used them to make this one. of course though, I had to buy some frabic to get certain parts done, but overall I do like the finish product, don't you think?"
he placed it aside and pulled out another necklace, this time this one was one he had bought her.
"you're going to wear it?"
"I'm giving it to megumi. out of the two of them he got the most attached to me.... so I want to give him something I've worn before for him to keep. I also made him a yukata to wear one day...." she smiled sadly, just thinking about leaving those two behind hurt. "there's also plenty of other things here for them and you... so when you leave in the morning don't forget the box."
satoru nodded and placed everything back inside.
he wished he could live without her, that everything would be fine like she said. but he couldn't. wherever he went, she would always be apart of him, next to him.
and he didn't know how to accept that fact. his best friend was gone, his lover was leaving him soon... how would he be able to live without her?
perhaps... in another life they'd grow old together as they had dreamed....
