It honestly felt as if time had frozen in the large dance studio and Taehyung would have laughed at how comically cliche the situation was if he wasn't scared out of his mind of Park Jimin. Flashes a painful memories presented themselves like a never-ending slideshow in his mind. It took everything in him not to run out of the room like a dog with its tail between its legs. He did, however, shrink behind Hoseok, who's vehement glare hadn't left the shorter male since he spoke up. Meanwhile, Jimin's bag had fallen from his shoulder and was not at his feet as he looked between the two, a flurry of emotions flittering across his features so fast that it left Taehyung's mind whirling.
"Uh...he-"
"It's my fucking studio so I'm pretty sure I should be asking you the same question. You have no reason to fucking be here." Hoseok snapped, interrupting what would have been the youngest's awkward greeting to the male who deserved nothing at the moment. Jimin took a step back, looking as if he had been slapped, before he glanced at his feet to hide his face. Seconds ticked by torturously slow as they all just took the time to breathe.
"I came to give you your key back and to confess some things that I'm not proud of. A good-bye of sorts, I guess, but by the looks of it you already know what I've done so I don't think I have to explain. Could we talk alone, though?" As he asked this, Jimin finally met Hoseok's sharp gaze, not even bothering to look at the purple-haired boy. He rather not feel more shame than he already did. J-Hope glanced suspiciously at him before nodding slowly and gesturing for Taehyung to wait in the small kitchen-like room.
The slightly taller boy clutched his elder's shirt with one hand as he was led to the room. All he wanted was reassurance right now, not to be left alone in some tiny room while the only one protecting him right now was talking to the person he needed protection from. Hoseok wrapped the younger up in a hug as if sensing his thoughts before whispering encouragingly, "Don't worry, Tae. It won't take that long, I promise. Here's my cell-phone. Call any of the familiar contacts if you feel threatened or on the verge of a panic attack, okay? We all care about it. I'll be back in a minute." One reassuring forehead kiss later and the familiar cologne of his hyung was all that lingered of the older male besides the cell-phone that was clutched in Taehyung's hand. He swallowed the lump growing in his throat and leaned against the door in slight hopes he could hear the conversation.
"Okay Jimin, you have about five minutes to explain why the fuck you think it's okay to come here before I kick your ass out into the pouring rain and I'm not fucking around this time. Sure, I'm a little pissed on the fact that you basically cheated on me the whole time we were together and the realization that I was basically your side bitch, but the fact that it was Taehyung, your roommate and actual boyfriend, is inexcusable. He did nothing to deserve that, Jimin, absolutely nothing. And for fuck's sake, he was your best friend!" Hoseok ranted as he advanced towards the poor black-haired boy, who, now that he gave him a once over, looked like absolute shit.
"Just give me a second to explain-"
"What the fuck is there to explain?! You raped him Jimin! Everything you did to him was without his consent and you disgust me!"
"Hyung, please!" Jimin suddenly shouted, sounding exasperated and broken, "Yes, I'm a piece of shit. I know this! And I'm not saying what I did is right because it is far from it. You don't know how much I beat myself up everyday about it! I can't focus in class, I randomly start crying, I don't go out anymore, and I'm trying to break my habit of drinking, but hyung it's so much easier to let it take control."
"That's no excuse to do that to someone you love, Jimin! God-"
Bitter laughter broke Hoseok's train of thought and he turned his head to glare at the only other male in the room. How the fuck could he possibly laugh in this situation? "That's just it, hyung. I never loved him. Just didn't want that little brat, Jungkook, to have him because damn was that kid infatuated. I didn't even know what love was until I met you and I was angry all the time because I didn't know what to do with those feelings. Taehyung was just so easy to take it out on, he was so willing to help, to please. Pitiful really, but I guess that's why we made such great friends. If someone was going to take advantage of his kindness, it might as well be me, right?"
His snarky words held no actual feeling, so Hoseok wasn't quite sure how to respond. It wasn't until a mangled sob sounded into the room that he finally understood. Jimin's words were just that. Words. There was no meaning behind them. The oldest's head turned to watch the door to the room Taehyung was in close again and he didn't hesitate to spring forward to grab the front of Jimin's shirt.
"You son of a bitch! Can't you tell that you're both hurting? Why are you making it worse by saying lies when he's listening? You're one of the worst people I have ever had the misfortune to meet. Fuck, you're lucky I'm a nice person, who cares about those who deserve it. I'm not letting you leave until you tell Tae the truth and you apologize! He deserves that much, asshole. And then I expect you to stay out of his life if you still plain on being some stupid ass drunk." He snapped, turning to drag the shorter male to the door. He opened it quickly and practically threw the other inside. Before he closed the door, he gave one last glare of warning and then the two were left alone.
Jimin flinched at the sight of who was once his best friend. Taehyung sat curled up into the corner, trying to stifle his sobs by biting his lip. The older male knew that it would start bleeding soon if he didn't let his cries heard. He really was stupid. How could he hurt someone so perfect? Someone so innocent and accepting no matter what happened to him?
"Taehyung?" He called, cursing himself mentally for how his voice cracked and how weak he sounded himself. This was not how he wanted this to go. He just wanted to tell J-Hope the truth so the elder would hate him and then he wouldn't be hurting anyone anymore. He didn't want to deal with this whole confrontation thing. It made his skin crawl as if someone was dragging their nails over his arms as a punishment for his wrongdoings. It was so much easier to be hated than to have disappointed gazes cast upon you. Less pressure that way, which is exactly why he felt his throat closing up as the younger male lifted his head to meet his torturer's gaze.
"Did you mean it? Was I just some toy that you felt like you could throw away once it got boring? Tell me, Jimin. Because I would really like to know why I was put through hell these past two years. Why I feel so disgusted with myself and I can't even look my brother in the eyes. Tell me!" And holy shit, Jimin had never seen the other acting this way. It hurt, but he knew his pain was nothing compared to that of what Taehyung was feeling.
Since words were not his forte, he did the only thing he knew. He pulled the weaker (Jimin noted this with a frown) male into an apologetic embrace, only holding him tighter when he tried to get away. "I'm sorry, Tae. I really am. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to fall for Hoseok. I love you, but I can't keep hurting you anymore." Jimin slowly released Taehyung from his hug, recoiling when he noticed the blank expression.
"Park Jimin, you are a piece of shit who treated my like I was worse than the dirt under your shoe, but I don't hate you. I still love you, but this is something even I can't forgive so I think we shouldn't see each other for a while. Maybe eventually we can become friends again because you were the best friend I could have ever had and I don't think I could cut you out of my life completely. But we both need time to heal. So don't come around anymore, don't approach me if you see me on the streets, and you probably shouldn't contact any of our mutual friends for a while too. They aren't very happy with you. I'll call you when I'm ready, okay?" His words were slow and picked carefully, yet his gaze never moved from where it was glued to the floor.
Jimin bit his lip as his first instinct was to protest, but the younger was being generous, so he shouldn't take that for granted. "Okay. I'll be waiting then, Tae, and I really am sorry it turned out this way. Take care, I'll miss you." And with that, he left, ignoring Hoseok as he grabbed his duffel and set off into the pouring rain that seemed strangely appropriate now.
"So let's ignore each other, try to pretend the other doesn't exist, but deep down, we both know it wasn't supposed to end like this." He murmured to himself as he climbed into his car and drove off, probably never to be purposefully seen again.
Sitting alone now, Taehyung rubbed at his swollen eyes and trailed his fingers over his arms, holding himself like Jimin had held him moments before. "I'm mad at myself, not you. I'm mad for always being nice. I'm mad for apologizing for things I didn't do. I'm mad for getting attached. I'm mad for thinking about you, but most of all I'm mad for not hating you, when I should." He murmured, running his fingers through his hair. Curling in on himself more, he ignored Hoseok's soft knocks and promptly closed his eyes, hoping for once that his mind would shutdown just this once so he wouldn't have to think.
So he wouldn't have to remember.
أنت تقرأ
Fractured Glass
قصص الهواة"Sticks and stones may break my bones. But words can also hurt me. Sticks and stones break only skin, while words are ghosts that haunt me. Pain from words has left its scar on mind and heart that's tender. Cuts and bruises now have healed, it's wor...
