Give Me A Reason

Chapter 17

Meredith Grey

I'm already nine months pregnant with twin girls, I'm giant. Derek feels so bad because he's stuck with me on bed rest. All he wants to do is be up and about taking care of me. He is going to be moved to the hospital after I give birth to the twins. Cristina stays here just in case something happens.

He has a low survival rate and my mothers old scrub nurse died of the same thing so it just makes me nervous.

I stay strong for him because he is so sick and I don't want him to worry, but I'm really scared. Maybe I can't be a mother, what if he dies and he won't be here to help me.

"Derek" I whisper softly.

No response.

"Der" I say louder.

Still once again no response.

"Derek" I say even louder getting more panicked.

I feel for his pulse, there is no pulse.

"Cristina!" I yell.

"What Meredith?" she asks walking into the room.

"It's Derek he- he has no pulse" I cry while giving him chest compressions.

"Meredith you're going to go into distress" she says running over.

"Call 911!" I sob.

"Meredith-"

"CALL 911 GOD DAMMIT" I yell through my tears.

She grabs her phone dialing 911. "Meredith let me take over" she says softly coming over again.

"Come on Derek please don't die on me, the twins we have the twins and you have me and I love you Derek so please don't die on me" I cry as Cristina's hands replace mine.

I feel a sharp pain making me wince. "Meredith are you okay?" she asks.

"I'll be okay" I breathe as grab Derek's hand that is usually very warm but now, now it's cold.

"You hear that Meredith?" she asks as we hear sirens.

"Derek you're going to be okay baby the ambulance is her, you're going to be okay" I cry, he looks so peaceful as I move his hair out of his face a place a kiss to his forehead.

"Hello?" I hear a faint voice from downstairs.

"Up here!" Cristina yells.

The burst into the room with a gurney and move Derek onto it. "It's okay Derek you'll be okay" I say before getting another pain "shit" I breathe grabbing my stomach.

"Okay Meredith I'm driving you to the hospital" Cristina says helping me follow them out as the take Derek.

"He'll be okay right? He'll be okay, he's Derek, my Derek my everything he has to be okay" I say to the paramedics.

"What's his name?" they ask Cristina.

"Derek Shepherd, he has pancreatic cancer" she says.

"Thank you, we're going to take him to Seattle Grace" one of them says.

"Make sure Dr. Webber and Dr. Bailey are on his case" I say right before they close the doors and drive off.

"Ow ow" I say.

"Okay into the car we go" Cristina breathes walking me to the car helping me in.

I sit in and we drive to the hospital as fast as we could. The ambulance that had Derek has already left and Cristina brings me to the emergency room. I watch as the take Derek into trauma two Bailey and Richard both in there. "Meredith?" Addison Montgomery asks walking over to us.

"She's stressed Dr. Montgomery so stressed and she keeps getting pains" Cristina says.

"Let's get you checked in and I'll monitor you" she says taking me to a room.

She gets an ultrasound ready and hooks me up to all of the machines with Alex's help. She does the ultrasound and her face looks a little worried but I can't tell. "Is something wrong?" I ask.

"The twins are in distress but we can watch it and if we get it under control you could keep those two in there until the due date" she smiles at me.

"You sure?" I ask.

"I'm sure" she nods.

Well I know that with lots of monitoring I should be okay but now al I can do is wait for news on Derek who I am just starting my life with I'm not ready for it to end before it even begins.

I'm not religious but God if you hear me please watch Derek for me and keep him here on earth.

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717 words

Okay,
sorry but not sorry...

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