I was getting ready for my second day at Lincoln High. Minus the one girl calling me a fatass, it wasn't such a bad place. Sure people stared, but I expected that. What I didn't expect was making a friend on my first day.
Turned out Cece was really sweet, smart, and funny. We instantly hit it off after the whole awkward introductions. I was really glad I didn't run from her because I sensed we could be great friends. That was a rare sense.
I finished putting on blue skinny jeans and a black band tee, my usual casual style. Looking in the mirror, I studied myself. My dad and younger brother constantly told me I wasn't fat, apparently I was just "chubby". I couldn't help but disagree with my weight being incredibly high. To make it worse, I was short. As a teenager that looked huge, so they wouldn't understand.
Sighing, I stared at my face. I was never pretty either. Even though my mom was gorgeous, I got my dad's less striking features. My blue eyes looked cold, not warm like my mom's brown ones, and my curly brown hair that fell onto my shoulders was usually a mess. I would describe my other features, but they weren't even meant mentioning. Overall I was just unattractive.
Once again I sighed. My self-esteem was terrible due to the years of insults and dirty looks thrown my way. From what I could tell, it would always be terrible.
I went to English class early again. I forgot to ask Cece where she'd be in the morning, so I had no one to be with. Surprisingly, I didn't mind that since it allowed me to read.
Pulling out "Paper Towns" from my bag, I began reading. It was a good book, which was to be expected by anything written by John Green. In my eyes, he was the god of writing.
After ten minutes of reading I sensed a stare. A stare so intense that I felt goosebumps form on my arm. Pulling my eyes away from the book, I looked to my right and saw the scary boy from yesterday.
He was just watching me intently from where he sat - the same spot as yesterday. To my surprise his stare wasn't of disgust or arrogance, it was of curiosity. Nervously, I looked back at my book. Low self-esteem meant I also hated when people looked at me at all. It felt like they were viewing my flaws.
"Hey." I heard him say after a bit.
My eyes drifted back to where he sat as my heartbeat quickened in fear. I couldn't help but wonder what he possibly wanted. Money? My extermination?
"Hey," I replied, casually trying to hide my fear.
My eyes couldn't look at his. I felt sick because unlike Cece, he didn't seem like a sweetheart. In fact, he looked like the exact opposite of that.
I also lacked social skills due to my low self-esteem. I felt like no one wanted to talk to the "fat girl", so I barely did unless they made the effort. Now that this boy did, I was freaking out. Guys initiating conversations with me were especially rare.
"Are you new here?" he asked.
I nodded vigurously as I tried to read again. Usually people took that as a hint to stop trying, but he didn't.
"What's you name?"
"...Quinn," I replied hesitantly. "Um, what's yours?"
Even though I was trying to end the conversation, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I guess you could say I was a softie.
"Connor."
I waited for him to say something after that, but he didn't. My eyes drifted to where he sat and I saw that he was texting. I relaxed a little. There was no need to be scared anymore. I still wondered why he wanted to talk to me though. It was unusual.
"Who's that guy?" I asked, pointing at Connor who was playing basketball with his friends."The tall guy with brown hair and nice muscles? He's Connor, Mr. Tough Guy here at Lincoln High," Cece replied. "Why?"
I frowned. That made sense.
"He scares me." I shivered from the memory of his menacing eyes.
Cece laughed. "Join the club."
My eyes widened as I asked, "You're scared of him?"
She shook her head. "Surprisingly not, I just think he's a jerk."
I could help but think back to earlier. If he was a jerk, why did he talk to me? Anger rose within me as I realized it was probably some sick joke. He was talking to me for laughs.
"What's wrong?" Cece asked concerned.
"Nothing," I lied, huffing.
I wouldn't be his punch line, I was smarter than that. From now on I'd be wary of him.
Opening up my backpack, I looked for my lunch. As I realized it wasn't there I began to panic. I always made sure to eat three meals a day, it was a must do.
After realizing it wasn't there I asked, trying to remain calm, "Is there anywhere you can buy lunch nearby?"
"Only the cafeteria," Cece replied, finishing off her own lunch of a single pizza slice.
I sighed because I expected that. I didn't want to go to the cafeteria though, not when it would be filled with judgeful teenagers. But, I couldn't miss a meal either, so I gave in.
"I'll be back."
I got up and walked to the school. Cece and I decided the place we met would be our everyday hang out place, so I was disgusted by the lack of fresh air inside. Ignoring it, I walked to the cafeteria while wondering why I didn't bring Cece along.
As I reached the cafeteria, I was surprised by the noise. It was loud, so loud that I felt my eardrums ring. People were everywhere doing anything possible. Some were skateboarding, others looked like they were about to rip each other's clothes off as they made out, and a few were actually singing. Sighing, I stood in line for food.
The food was disappointing. I couldn't help but scowl as I paid five dollars to receive crap. It was better than nothing though, so I took it.
As I turned around, I suddenly bumped into someone. Thankfully my food was alright, but I couldn't say the same for the boy who was now wearing his lunch.
Rage filled his eyes as he yelled, "You fucking fatass! I spent ten dollars on that!"
Giving me a quick scan, he continued, "Since I know you'll eat anything, you better eat the food you dropped so it won't go to waste."
Laughter erupted around me and my face turned bright red. Doing the usual, I ran out. To my surprise I saw Connor standing at the entrance too. He was staring at me with an expression I couldn't quite place. Knowing he saw that, I suddenly felt more humiliated and tears began running down my face. This was why my self-esteem sucked.
YOU ARE READING
Fat Girl Problems
RomanceAs a 'fat girl', Quinn Jones' life consists of problem after problem, leaving her quite insecure. Moving to a new school for senior year didn't help that either. With a new set of people to stare at her, she's terrified. But then, a miracle happens...