Without Me

Chapter 32

Part of her wished she could stay in that nothing forever. It was peaceful there. Dark and warm. Nothing was right, but nothing was wrong either. It was a safe place from her thoughts and from the rest of the world.

But she could feel it pulling away from her. Reality was seeping in. 

She lifted her head, blinking as Hope’s face came into focus. 

“Hope?” 

“Elizabeth Jenna Saltzman.” Hope looked angry but her voice didn’t sound it. 

Lizzie swallowed her guilt and sat up. Hope reached out to help her. 

“You are such a fucking hypocrite.” 

“I’m sorry?” Lizzie was still shaking off the lingering effects of the nothingness. 

“What happened to ‘What is wrong with you?’ and ‘You couldn’t just ask one of us how we were doing?’ Hmm? What happened to it being dumb and selfish and controlling?”

Lizzie’s eyebrows rose higher and higher as Hope rattled off Lizzie’s own words back at her. Hope grabbed her shoulders suddenly, crashing Lizzie’s body into her own in a death grip.

“No one’s been better off with you.” Hope held her tighter. 

“Oh.” Lizzie returned the embrace. 

Hope pulled back. “Why wouldn’t you …?”

“You mean because I didn’t come back and see the love of my life happy with someone else?” Lizzie arched an eyebrow.

“I wasn’t gonna say it like that.”

“Well … I’ve been asking that question a lot.” Lizzie settled in. “And we didn’t always get along.” She sighed. It was a hard truth, but the truth was what she needed to face. “I - wrongly - thought you were trying to make me miserable, and in turn, I tried to make you miserable right back. Except, in true Hope Mikaelson fashion, you weren’t as good at it as me.” Lizzie smiled weakly. She didn’t put anything into the joke. Hope gave it the tiniest breath of a laugh, just to humor her. Then, the tears started. “I was horrible to you,” Lizzie managed out. “I wrote you as a villain in a fanfic because I was jealous and repressing a dumb crush on you. I told everyone you exploded an orphanage with your brain. And it wasn’t even just as kids that I was awful to you. Even after that, I still said some cruel things to you.”

“Nothing I didn’t deserve.” Hope brushed Lizzie’s hair back.

“You didn’t deserve it.” Lizzie shook her head. “And so I thought maybe you’d be better off not remembering the person who told you that people always get hurt around you and it’s your fault.”

“Fairplay, because I had just told you you were the reason your sister went dark, but look at how she was without you.”

“Not fairplay.” Lizzie wasn’t budging on this one. “But I want to work on making it right instead of running away and erasing the past.”

“You already made it right, Lizzie. I thought I was the one who lost memories.” Hope made her own dry joke. Lizzie didn’t give her a laugh the way she did. Hope just studied her face. “You made it right with me anyways. Maybe all that’s left is making it right with yourself.” Hope pulled her into another hug. “You can tell everyone this. I’m glad to have you back.”

There was a soft knock at the open door, and the two of them pulled away to look. 

“Dad.” It felt right saying it again. 

Alaric glanced at Hope. “Can we have a moment?”

“Sure.” Hope let go of Lizzie and stood, giving the two of them the room.