ALIVE ANGELS ; lana del rey

➵ five, are you insane

*:·ﾟ✧ CHAPTER FIVE. are you insane

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I OPENED MY eyes to a flood of gray fog everywhere; I could barely distinguish shapes from one another. 

Finally, after a few seconds of trying, I gave up finding Carmen. I assume she's with me, and if she's not, I would not know what to do. I don't even know where I am, so I crash onto the ground. 

Over time, the fog clears up, and I find myself in a desolate wasteland of a city. Carmen comes up to me, and she has a look of shock on her face.

"Did you see what just happened?" she exclaims.

"Yeah, I was there."

"Why are you not shocked?"

"I guess I'm used to it," I respond monotonously.

Rolling her eyes, Carmen continues to rave about how we got transported here for about ten minutes as we decide to walk on the pavement.

"What even is this place?" I ask.

"It looks like a city; maybe there was a nuclear explosion or something," Carmen replies.

"Duh, it's a city."

"I was just making an observation, okay?"

"Okay."

After a few minutes of aimlessly wandering, we come to a stopping point by a bus stop to rest. I put my backpack down, and so does Carmen when we sit on the bench.

"What are we gonna do here?" Carmen questions.

"I don't know. This place seems so dull. Like, there's nothing to do here."

"Well, at least that's what I think," I add.

"We probably just have to look harder. I bet there's something," Carmen argues.

"Sure."

"Sure."

As we both laugh after a relatively short silence, we hear rumbling in the distance. I figure I imagine it, but ignoring it can't work anymore as the sound becomes more noticeable over time.

"What is that?" Carmen stammers.

"I don't know, do you hear it?" I stutter and stumble on my words.

"Yeah."

A bus. It's a bus. Are there people living here? 

We never saw any trace of human life anywhere in this city. Is it possible that there are still people here? 

As it approaches closer, my eyes widen, and a chill runs down my spine. I notice that no one's on the bus. No one is driving the bus; it's completely empty. Carmen and I sit in complete silence and utter shock as we watch the vehicle pause by the bus stop.

"Let's get on," Carmen thinks out loud.

"Are you insane?"

"Probably."

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We board the seemingly empty bus, and as I approach the inside closer, I observe that the vehicle isn't really vacant. Instead, I feel a presence that I've never felt before, and looking around, I can tell what that is. 

Ghosts. 

Ghosts are sitting in the seats. 

Looking towards Carmen, I can tell she thinks every thought I am right now. 

Pure shock. 

Acting calmly, I pretend everything is normal; walking down the aisle to my seat, staying quiet, and remaining that way until I get off. Except, I don't even know where we're going yet. 

Walking down the bus aisle, everyone kept to themselves, which is surprising considering I'm nothing like them. Holding my breath until I took my seat, I stared at Carmen, who had an expression of pure anxiousness that I'd never seen before in my life. 

Carmen sits next to me, and we both intensely scrutinize one another. I can practically read her mind.

"Oh my god," she whispers so quietly that I almost can't hear her.

"I know. I'm terrified," I continue the short-lived conversation.

Then, the bus gets quiet in an instant. No one talks. You could hear a hairpin drop onto the ground. In fact, that's precisely what happens. 

Carmen adjusts her purse to fit more comfortably on her body in the dead, silent noise. Then, thump. Watching Carmen's purse fall to the ground is like watching someone's death–not an enjoyable experience. 

As soon as it hit the ground, time stopped. My heart starts beating faster than it's ever pulsed before; I feel as if it can jump out of my chest at any time. Every ghost on the bus twists to stare at Carmen, and I brace myself for impact.

I close my eyes shut and gritted my teeth together; I could feel them getting closer. 

As soon as I heard a shriek come from next to me, life paused. 

Carmen and I rose out of the bus, and we ascended into the atmosphere, meeting a new deity. The sky warped black, and the stars shimmered more than I'd ever seen them shine.

A cloud of mist and fog combine as an ominous figure floats towards us in smudged, black eye makeup, dripping mascara, and a tattered white sleeveless and loose dress, with flexible hanging fabric from her forearms. The dress has ragged edges like it has been cut and torn by the supernatural deity, yet it still appears elegant.

She wears a tulle veil on her head, the fabric is put away from her face. This otherworldly divinity's melancholic appearance translates similarly to her expression, almost miserably monotone.

Beautifully, she grabs a bouquet of black roses out of thin air, and she carries it while an amplified, seemingly tired voice speaks into the atmosphere.

"I am Ultraviolence, the divinity of death and melancholia."

The words trickle from her lips faultlessly, creating a smooth sound emitting from her mouth. She grips her bouquet with both of her elegant hands, causing the vacant space between the roses to become smaller and smaller.

Ultraviolence starts to visualize into the ambiance, creating an aura of tragicness.

A cruel world, neglectful romantic relationships, never having someone's love to keep as yours, sorrowful endings, cashmere cologne, emotional manipulation, cold cash divine, white sunshine. The night sky highlights the divinity's features as the visualizations escape my memory into the world.

"You will escape from your dangerous position as you reencounter me on the flip side, yet I cannot be your exit to every lethal situation you fall into; stay on fire."

"You are loved," the divinity speaks into truth.

Pulsating continuously through the atmosphere, the three words echo while the fog and mist reappear and take over my vision. My eyes get taken over by the gray atmosphere.

Then, as the divinity's silhouette disappears into the haze, the night becomes daylight again. Carmen and I fall from our altitude onto the pavement after the bus drives away from us.