The Doctor, The Pain and The Audacity of Shane

7

The words hit harder than expected. Harvey, who actually planned to get really angry at his guest and make him sleep on the ground, hesitated and from one moment to another, he didn't feel like screaming at his visitor anymore. Angry, because of the way he made his pulse spead, and how he made his heartbeat race, and how he made him feel. He wasn't supposed to feel like this against a man with this audacity.
"S-shane!", he stuttered instead, "Please, you're drunk."
Slowly, he turned around and pressed the shorter man away from him. He was more heavier than he looked like.
"Ey pal, if u think this me drunk, you never saw me on a Friday night", he gargled, but stepped back. Which was good, because some parts of his body were starting to feel pretty uncomfortable against his back. He couldn't remember that he ever was in a more awkward situation.
But still - he couldn't be mad at him.
Suddenly, he remembered this moment, only minutes before Shane had enetered the clinic today, on this fateful day that offered nothing but confusion for him.
"As long as you like me", he had said, and Maru had just chuckled. She always just giggled when he said such things. Sure, she didn't mean it like that, he was sure that she liked him as well - but did she consider him a friend? Sure, they went to the flower dance together every year, but not once had she asked him on her own. She always just shrugged, smiled and said: "Yeah, why not?"
Did anybody in this town consider him a friend?
Anybody but Shane?
Sure, he had drunk a bit, and even with all his doctor skills, Harvey could not tell how much he drank before, but he was sure that it wasn't less.
"But got it. Message received." Shane nodded with glassy eyes and walked back to the bed. "U don't want to be friends we me... wouldn't want to be my friend either."
"That's not what I-"
Shane curled up on his blanket, drew his knees towards his chest and stared into the nothingness. It was impossible to say what was going on inside his head currently, but to be bloody honest with himself, Harvey had seen and heard and felt enough.
His kettle was already boiling, so he poured himself a cup of tea and nipped on it, only to find out that is was way too hot to drink.
"You want some tea too?", he repeated the question he asked a while ago, but again received no reply but an indistinct murmur.
"I beg your pardon?"
He turned around to see that Shane rose his head.
"I want to be hold", he hissed silent into the emptiness. "Can Mr. Doctor come and gimme a hug?"
"A... hug?"
Harvey's eyes widened. He turned his head, stared at the tea, then back at Shane. There was something inside those eyes that made him struggle once more.
"What am I even doing anymore", he mumbled to himself.
Then he put his cup down and walked over to Shane who was lying on the bed, but when he noticed Harvey coming closer, he stretched out his arms so Harvey could hug him. When the two man closed into their embrace, a sudden feeling of a comfortable coldness rushed through Harveys body. Suddenly, his mind was clear anymore.
Yes, yes. That had to be it - Shane surely did drink more than his three beer and now he was hopelessly drunk and didn't know what he was doing anymore. He, as his doctor, should make sure that he ate something and drink water before he put him to sleep. Tomorrow they could talk the whole issue out.
It was a wonderful, relaxed second of clearness, hope and oblivion.
Then Shane pulled the doctor down, closed to himself. He threw both of them over, rolled to the side and heaved his body onto him, both hands knocked left and right next to Harvey's head, and almost banged their heads together when he got closer to the face of the doctor, so close that he could feel his breath on his lips again. It smelled like alcohol, but his voice was surprisingly clear.
"Maybe we aren't adults tonight, Harv", he whispered in a way that made a shiver run down Harvey's spine.
"Maybe we can't hold back."