Lost in the Nightmares of Hope- a Newtmas Fanfic

Forbidden Feelings

"Okay, so what is this place?" Thomas asked, munching on apple. "And I want some real answers. Not all this 'it's better if you don't know'...klunk," he said, hesitating before using the unfamiliar Glader term.

Newt sat thinking for a moment, wondering what to tell the clueless shank. "Alrighty, Tommy. This here's the Glade. Course ya already knew that, though." Newt laughed nervously, wringing his hands out as he tried to gain courage to say what came next. "And...uh...out there, beyond the bloody walls is the Maze. But you promise, you bloody promise me right now, Tommy, that you'll never go beyond those shucking walls!" Newt felt an unexpected rush of protectiveness towards the boy, but immediately tried to get the thought out of his head.

Thomas recoiled slightly at Newt's sudden outburst, but recovered quickly saying, "Um, yeah. I promise, Newt. But what about this Maze makes it so horrible?"

Newt froze, thoughts of the Maze and his time as a Runner running through his mind. Then came the memories of his jump. Every day they came. Each time they left him weaker than before. 

Newt stood up from the table where he and Thomas sat and began walking away. "We're going to go get Chuck, and you can ask him all the questions you want. I'm not in the mood to talk right now."

Thomas sat for another moment before his eyes widened as he noticed Newt's limp. Newt realized that if he let Tommy think for any longer, he'd piece the few things he knew together and understand what Newt had done. He couldn't let that happen. Not yet anyway. He continued to walk away, picking up his pace now.

Finally, Thomas came to his senses and ran after Newt. When he caught up, Newt didn't even look at him. "Hey, Newt. I-I'm sorry. I didn't know it was a touchy subject," he pleaded, stepping if front of Newt as he spoke.

Newt stopped for a moment, look at Tommy's beautiful eyes, made even more so as the sun sank below the walls. He shook his head, looking past Thomas as he sidestepped the boy and continued walking, leaving Thomas to stand there in the fading light.

A sudden, thundering boom filled the air and shook the ground. Newt kept moving, searching for Chuck, but Thomas fell to the ground, looking around scared. He scrambled to his feet and ran after Newt, a wild look in his eyes. "What's going on!"

Newt ignored the beautiful boy, finally spotting Chuck. "Chuck! Get over here, you bloody slinthead!"

"Newt," Thomas looked into Newt's eyes, pleading. "Please, Newt. Tell me what I did to deserve this." Then seeing Newt's confused look, he gestured around himself and continued, "All of this."

"Tommy, listen," Newt said sternly before seeming to give up, rubbing his neck with his palm and flicking his gaze towards the ground. "Just go talk to Chuck, okay?" he requested more gently. "We'll talk more tomorrow."

Thomas just nodded, looking slightly ashamed, making Newt want to wrap his arms around the boy and comfort him. Where the shuck are these thoughts even coming from!You can't be thinking like this! Newt turned and walked away, before his thoughts could get the better of him. 

He grabbed Chuck's arm as the boy headed over to Thomas and whispered into his ear, "Do me a favor, Chuck. Take care of the Greenie for the night, and just answer any questions he's got to the best of your ability."

The younger boy nodded his head vigorously until Newt shooed him off to go get Thomas. Newt turned and watched as Chuck led Thomas off, gesturing wildly with his hands, Thomas nodding, still looking upset, his eyes flicking back to Newt every few seconds.

Newt felt himself blushing, but then came to his senses and looked away, heading to the Homestead. You cannot let yourself get attached to this boy. Or let him attach himself to you. Newt still couldn't help but feeling guilty, despite his thoughts. He had made this poor, helpless, beautiful, kind... Stop.

Reaching the Homestead, he reported a few things to Alby before leaving for bed, dreading the inevitable sleepless night he would be facing that night. As he laid down, though, he was surprisingly comforted by thoughts of the Greenie, despite any attempt to stifle them. That night he had the best sleep he'd had in three months time, his dreams filled with a new life for him with Tommy. 

Hello again, loves! Kinda just a filler chapter, so sorry about that. But soon comes the good stuff! I promise! And no true Newtmas moments yet...please don't kill me! I swear there will be some in the next couple chapters! Thanks for all the reads!

-red7717