Logan Field x NB! reader 💦/☁️

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Sppokeee_ thank you for the request
I'm not good at angst so I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted
Also gave it a super sweet ending because IM STILL NOT OVER WHAT HAPPENED TO TYLER 😭😭😭

Normal AU
They/Them
Y/n is Your Name

⚠️TW: CUTTING/SELF HARM ⚠️ I will put another reminder before it starts
the remainder will be 5 ⚠️ emojis

IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THESE THINGS PLEASE DO NOT READ

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Logan Fields had one best friend. That best friend was also his long-term crush. Logan didn't know much about Y/n but he knew that they were going to be together forever, whether it be as friends or lovers.

With the two gorgeous girls, Ashlyn Banner and Taylor Hernandez, cute-looking Tyler Hernandez, sweet and kind Ben Clark, and flirty Aiden Clark, Logan wasn't sure if he had the confidence to confess to Y/n.

Could he? What would they say? Even if he did confess, would they like him back? With Aiden flirting with them daily, there was no way! Logan had a zero percent chance of Y/n liking them back.

"-gan! Logan! Hello??" Tylers' sharp voice snapped him back to reality as he jolted up. "Huh?! Did something happen??" Logan panicked, tugging the collar of his black sweater.

"Dude, you've been spacing out for like 10 minutes!" Aiden giggled, touching Logan's sweater sleeve. Logan reeled his hand back, slowly, and pouted, not that anyone noticed.

This sweater was from Y/n on his 10th birthday, so there was no way Logan was gonna let Aiden ruin it... even if Logan didn't wear dark colors. It was the thought that counted!
Speaking of Y/n... where were they?

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Y/N P.O.V

I stood around in the graveyard, pacing back and forth inside the walls of the graveyard. I don't know what to do... I thought, biting my lips.

My- my parents are probably fighting again... and there are phantoms... my thoughts raced against each other, one thought taking over then another... just overflowing my mind.

"I don't know what to do..." I quietly sobbed. I hid behind a bus. There was a small weight in my pocket, reminding me it was there.

The razor blade... just sitting there in my pocket. I've thought of it, I've done it before but only at night.

It was pure daylight. Everyone (including me) was in Ashlyn's house, discussing the fighting lessons and whatnot. Have they even noticed I was gone?

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

I slowly took the razor out and stared at it. I slowly rolled it up, the glistening blade sticking up.

I slowly put the blade on my non-dominate arm. I pushed slowly inwards and down, creating a thin line. I took the blade off and placed it next to the thin stream as blood dripped down.

I did it again, and again. One stream after another, more and more blood. The blood dripped down from my arm to the grass, coating it in a slightly watery, slightly thick red crimson color.

One for the trouble I've caused
One for my existence
One of my problems
One for being useless
One for the phantoms

I took a deep breath. I dragged the blood-covered blade across my arm, creating a long, deeper line than the other ones. And one for falling in love with-

"Y/N?!?!" I heard a soft but stern voice call out to me.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

"L-Logan??" I sputtered. I shoved the blade behind my back but my efforts failed. He ran over to me and took the blade from my hand. "What do you think you're doing?!" He yelled at me.

I stared at him, his blue eyes looked worried and furious, his pale, light brown hair was frazzled and his face looked concerned. "I-I-!" I tried to get words out, but I couldn't.

My tears, the tears I've been holding in for so long, blurred my vision. It sting my nose and eyes for just a short second and the tears dripped down which turned into streams of clear water.

"I'm so sorry!" I sobbed. I yanked my hand away and tried to stop this madness of crying but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

All the emotions I was feeling, not just for today, but my entire life spilled out. All the sadness, fury, anger, pain, fear, everything just spilled out.

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Logan: Age 8
Me: Age 9
Grade: 3

"Another boring day at school" I had sighed. I held the cup of coffee and walked in just to bump into someone.

"Oh sorry!" They said. They looked at me and smiled, almost like a puppy. "My name is Logan Fields, pleased to meet you!"

"... I'm [name]"

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Logan: Age 11
Me: Age 12
Grade:6

"Logan... I need to tell you something."
"Huh? What is it?"
"I'm non-binary. I go by Y/n now and my pronouns are they/them-!" I was pulled into a hug.
"Don't worry, I'll be your best friend no matter what!"

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Logan: Age 13
Me: Age 14
Grade: 8

"Heyyyo Logan!" Logan opened his window for me, letting me climb in. "Y/n? What are you doing here?" He asked me.
"Sleeping over! My parents are... well it's personal. They said for me to take a walk but they locked the door after I went out." I rolled my eyes.
"Couldn't you break in again?" Logan asked as I shuffled through his nightwear. "Nah, too late for that. Took a walk and decided to come here."
I grabbed one of my shirts and pants that I left here from the last time I slept over and went to the bathroom to change. "Just go to bed, I'll be right in cutie pie!" I winked at him and left, my heart pounding madly in my chest.

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I loved him... I loved Logan so much. I was so scared of losing him. All my life has been so bland and painful that he brought color into my otherwise colorless life.

I engulfed Logan in a hug and cried my heart out. "I love you, Logan, please don't leave me! I'm so so so sorry!" I cried. Logan froze for a second and started crying too.

"I love you too Y/n and I won't stop, ever." He gently placed his head on my shoulder as I cried on his. The group came by and checked what was wrong.

Taylor immediately went into mother mode about the cuts and Ben went to get a first aid kit. Tyler and Aiden stood around, not sure what do to as Ashlyn and Logan helped me up.

We all went inside as I linked my pinky with Logans. He blushed instantly, with this cute grin on his face. I sat on the couch, Ben patching me up as I explained what had happened.

I don't know what will happen for me in the future, but I do know that my boyfriend Logan, and friends are going to be there with me, as long as we stick together.

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