Anything

The First Wrong Turn

The hardest part of every morning since Big John Routledge, my dad; died was always getting out of bed. Finding the willingness to start the day. Every morning I've reminded myself everything I do is for John B, stay strong for John B. This morning is the first I've found it easy to wake, easy to rise from my bed and get dressed. Today was the first time I'd be staying anywhere besides the chateau since dad's death. Sarah Cameron kook princess, my best friend had invited me over quite a few times since then. Each text I replied the same, I have work, John B needs me here for him, it was always one of the two excuses. But, the truth was I was the one who needed him here and I only wished I was working. My brother had found a safe haven from his feelings in the pouges, his bestfriends. Myself on the other hand, my safe haven was found in Barry one of the only drug dealers on the island. If you had told 16 year old me that my now 18 year old self would be slumming it working 2 jobs on figure eight, and trying to prove to the DCS that I can be a good guardian all while doing drugs; she would not have believed you. I made the decision that I wasn't gonna pity myself for the life my dad left me in. So, yesterday night I said yes to Sarah Cameron's sleep-over invite. Now on this fine morning, I find myself out of bed, and getting ready to head over to her house, the same place that I once considered my safe haven from my fathers elaborate gold rush.

Foots steps booming from the home only meant one thing, my brother was awake. And soon enough his voice was booming through my room,

" Harper I'm- oh your uh awake?"

"As a matter of fact I am, I also wont be back tonight as I'll be staying at Sarah's so you need to stay out of trouble" I responded.

" Me trouble, never" he laughed.

" Yeah never, okay anyways I'm leaving now so I'll see you guys tomorrow." I stated walking out of the chateau.

I unlocked the trunk of my 75' Ford mustang, which had been a gift to myself from myself after saving over 5 of my paychecks from when I was sixteen; and threw my bag in. Driving in and through figure eight always left me with a longing feeling. When I was younger I thought it was a longing to be home. Once, I got into my teen years a realization occurred, it was a longing to have what everyone who lived there had. Ass loads of money, nice houses, expensive boats. I wanted it, in fact I yearned for it. As shitty as it made me feel, being bestfriends with Sarah sort of cured that yearning. I texted to let her know I was about to turn down her street and continued driving.

I pulled into the gated driveway of Tannyhill and parked my car. I headed to the door bag in hand only to be greeted by the only truly horrendous Cameron family member, Rafe. Heading out of the house him and Topper looked at me with a snicker. Rafe spoke as I shoved myself past them.

"Yo Routledge, Have fun playing pretend kook like you always do" he laughed pushing my shoulder.

I hated Rafe Cameron. Ever since we were little he had always thrown it in my face that I was stuck living on the Cut, that my mom had left and that my father was to busy searching for lost gold to be a real father. Him bullying me throughout elementary and middle school is what caused Sarah and I to be friends in fact. She always apologized for what he said, and she was always the one to stand up for me if she was there when he said something. Over the first year of it being that way her and became pretty close. In the long run, I ended being one of if not the only friend she never discarded out of fear. Once we hit high-school that bullying turned into cat-calling and teasing. I couldn't lie the summer before school started again that year was big for me, my figure finally started to form, I found my style, and anyone could notice. It wasn't just Rafe either that would make the snarky comments like, 'nice tits hotcake' and 'I wanna get a taste of you' it was all the boys that said it. All those years and all the those comments he made over time wasn't even the biggest reason I have so much hatred for him. Truthfully the biggest reason was that through everything, I found him really attractive, you could even go as far to say that I had, that I do like him.