101 Writing Tips from an Exhausted Reviewer

Dead Parents

1. Protagonist looks in mirror. 

2. Protagonist compares their appearance to their parents. 

3. Tell reader that parent is dead. 

In action, it looks like this: 

I woke up and strolled over to the mirror. My crystal-diamond-sapphire-river blue eyes stared back at me. They looked exactly like my mother's eyes, according to my father. I wish I could have seen it for myself, but my mother died when I was five weeks old. 

Also, my dad is dead. 

Cry for me. 

With less satire, of course. 

However, the thing is that, yes, using dead parents is an excellent way to evoke some form of sympathy in your reader. But seriously, it's not the only tool in the belt. Clueless parents who don't even acknowledge their child, or antagonistic parents who put down their kids -- these are all just as useful. Besides, not all childhood trauma comes from parents. Sometimes, it's high school bullies, or moving countries and losing all our friends, or simply having an older sibling who is amazing at everything so we feel less good about ourselves. Even accidents -- car crashes, or breaking our arm on a monkey bar. Sometimes, it's remembering that Zac Efron will never know who I am. 

I encourage all writers to simply talk more to people and to find out the common reasons why people can be self-doubtful or less likely to open up. There are a ton of experiences that people go through! 

And don't underestimate the power of having a very functional, positive family with financial problems, either. Or a family with a different cultural upbringing to the protagonist. Or simply, no family issues at all; at the end of the day, your protagonist doesn't need to get the sympathy of a reader to become a remarkable hero. All they need are flaws, strengths, realism, and the promise of development. They don't need past trauma!

However, there is nothing wrong with writing in dead parents. 

Why? 

Because, well, it does happen.

Dead parents isn't an unrealistic thing. A bunch of people lose their parents at a young age. Whether this is from death, or being separated from biological parents, or other circumstances -- it does happen. So, just because it is used quite a fair amount in literature, doesn't mean you shouldn't use it at all. Besides, it can, if done well, teach kids that they are able to cope on their own and be independent! 

You just need to make sure it isn't solely for the reader to feel sympathy.

Also, do your research! If you haven't experienced the loss of a parent yourself, then you have to make sure you're doing it correctly. For starters, a seven year old does not get to live by themselves in a house if they don't have parents (in this day and age, in most cultures). I don't want to see any more four-year-old children growing up in abandoned houses in the middle of New York City, flipping pancakes and going to corporate jobs and all that. 

You also should be very careful about flashbacks with their parents. The number of cheesy flashbacks... dear lord. What haven't I seen, at this rate? If you're going to do a flashback of the parent, please do it in a place where it doesn't feel random and weird. Also, only include the flashback if it serves purpose to the plot. 

I once read a mafia book where, in the first few chapters, I kept getting weird flashbacks of the protagonist with her mum (who was dead in the present), where they were flipping pancakes and singing lullabies. The protagonist would cry upon reliving the memories, but that was it. They saw the bad boy mafia man later on and swooned over him, and then for the rest of the story, the mother was never mentioned again. 

Like... what? 

Basically, make the backstory purposeful for your character. 

I know some people aren't fans of the Hunger Games, but Katniss Everdeen is a good example of having an effective dead parent. Since her father died before the story, it has forced her to become more independent and courageous, as she has to do some hunting and protecting of her sister. That way, when the story kickstarted and Katniss was tossed into the Hunger Games by choice, and also managed to outwit her opponents, it actually made sense and felt like it had been set-up. She had those traits of strength and wit from her time learning to be independent. 

Now, here are tips from me: 

1. Dead parents do not give your protagonist an excuse to be an asshole. 

I see this all the time. Protagonist is simply awful to everyone -- rude, condescending, physically abusive. But the author tries to make it all feel justified because 'their parents died when they were young'. 

Mind you, does this happen? Sometimes. Sometimes, when people lose their parents, they can become rude. That doesn't mean we should accept it! We should want them to grow and become better people throughout the story.

Also, most of the time... kids do not grow into assholes just because they lost a parent. It really depends on the environment they grow up in after/before the death, and how the death occurred. Trust me on this one! 

2.  Don't just kill your parents mid-story and expect it to hurt. 

It won't work unless you use show us the bond between the protagonist and parent. Like, seriously, the number of times I've read stories where the parents are barely mentioned because the protagonist is busy simping for the bad boy in school -- but then, suddenly, one parent just randomly dies from a car accident, and the author is all like, "Cry, reader! Cry!" Then, they spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to make the reader feel sad, and... well, sure. We may feel bad for the protagonist. But because we barely saw the parent in the book, why should we care? We don't. 

3. Grief doesn't last two days. 

If you do show the bond between parent and protagonist (or if you don't, but you make it clear that the protagonist does love their parent), but then you choose to kill the parent, please make the grief realistic. 

People don't just wake up the day after the funeral and feel a sense of happiness again. 

That's... That's not how it works at all. 

The death of parents can be straight-up traumatising for some people. If someone has had a history of family dying from illness, you bet they will be paranoid about catching an illness themselves. If someone's parents were murdered brutally in their own home, you bet that person will not want to be in that home! 

However, it doesn't always have to be traumatising and difficult for the child. Most of the time, it is. Sometimes, there are instances where I've seen kids who genuinely don't care that their father is no longer in the picture. Rare, but usually justified well. 

But what I mean is, usually, adults in stories aren't usually still breaking down and harassing people because they lost their parent forty years ago. After forty years, they've usually found ways to process it. 

Anyways, I think that's all I--

Wait. 

Why are dead parents literally always perfect human beings? They're always described as these perfect beings with lots of wisdom, amazing advice, great lullabies and tasty pancakes. 

I strive to be as good a parent as the dead parents in Wattpad books. Before they died, obviously. 

Anyways, that's my big vent and some tips on dead parents! I hope this helps some of y'all! 

Next chapter, y'all have asked me to talk about diversity! Wattpad is pretty good in terms of diversity, if I'm completely honest. But either way, I'm ready to talk about diversity! Do you have any specific questions you want me to answer in relation to this topic? Let me know!