"It hurts so much to stay alive, there are times when it would be much better not to wake up when I am dreaming, for in this cruel world I can never rest."
Michael, he could be that kid you see on the street and you wouldn't pay attention to him bec...
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Well, I can't add anything more, just to say that the world doesn't change if you think well of it, is more than enough to enter a cave and lock you up for the rest of your life, it would be perfect a season of infinite winter and that the walls were made of the hardest iron in the world; that would be my perfect hiding place.
I gave the sketch to Ana, she did not take long to notice my character, apart from being stubborn, she also found my greatest degree of depression, she did not make any attempt to cheer up my day, she just looked at me, not with the same look of terror that anyone shows when they see "a child" under the ecstasy of so many problems, no, she was just looking for someone else, someone who was lost in one night. It is a secret to no one in the psychiatric ward that Roger tried to abuse me, everyone looks at me with pity, others with disgust, even the idiots with their behavioral problems also exist and dare to make fun of me.
Today should be a day like any other, even if my routine does not go beyond being locked in my room, watching the horizon without finding anything interesting, eating at least twice a day to avoid having to be forced through those probes; I'm lucky, if it wasn't for Justin, Sigmund would have already opted for strategies or punishments, that's what I call them, nothing good brings playing a joke or getting upset in front of the psychologist, he's one of those people with a square mind, they think what others have told them, but they don't think for themselves; a clear example of Sigmund was my last alteration, he almost lasted tied to the bed for more than a week.
The night is already falling, the sun is hiding, the clouds are becoming part of the darkness; it is interesting this panorama, I know I have mentioned it many times, but today it has to be my only observation of a world between buildings, at first sight it is as if the city took a new color, this appreciation of how the lights are gradually turning on, until we can be sure that the world is not dark; it reminds me of an old documentary about energy, where it mentions the day in which Las Vegas became the most illuminated place on earth, a great event, just like the man on the moon; for many it is not, I think it is very relevant, we stopped living by fire to move to electricity. If ever that dark side of our world did not exist, I would be the first to buy a ticket.
Everyone is supposed to be in the room, there must be complete chaos there, as strange as it sounds, Sigmund and his colleagues thought they had an excellent idea; it's about lighting candles, if my memory serves me correctly, it has something to do with a religious event, although for them, it's just a way to generate awareness. That's the reason why Justin is not here, they need as many staff as possible to avoid any blunder, Justin came a while ago to make me a formal invitation, of course I refused, he didn't insist too much, he just left the door unlocked, just in case I change my mind, something that won't happen. For a while I keep walking from side to side, if my language teacher saw me, he would make a comment, something like this: "you remind me of the peripatetics, besides always adopting that thoughtful posture, as if you were a second Hamlet" I miss putting my brain in motion, it is not enough to think thousands of times, I almost always come to thoughts under the premise of Machiavelli, besides... What would life be without desires? I think that happens to me, I can't detach myself from some things, that's why I'm still afraid of death, isn't it? It could also be that I need to do something before I die. This is bullshit, it happens to everyone, we can make mistakes with ourselves, we can judge ourselves, we can hate ourselves, but we can't fix ourselves, it only takes something from the outside to give us the answer; too bad an institution doesn't give me anything to think about, does it?
